DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2003 by Djinn. This story is Rated PG-13.
It Wouldn't Be Make-Believe
It's a Barnum and Bailey world,
just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn't be make-believe,
if you believed in me.
--- It's Only A Paper Moon
It was never about the
music. Not really. Oh sure, for the real Vic it had only been
about the music. But he wasn't the real
Vic Fontaine. Never had been, never
would be. He was something else. Something less. And something more. He was himself. And for him, it had only ever been about one
thing. Love. And her.
The first thing he could
remember was the lab. He was born fully
formed like Athena of old. And from what
Felix told him, he was as much of a headache to his father as the graceful
goddess had been to Zeus. Felix. His father.
His creator, who had called forth his spirit and planted it into this
body that was no body but really a vessel of tamed photons, nothing more than a
construct of interference, made to play and strut as the great playwright said,
for a few hours or so, then die the way of all of his kind. Only he wasn't supposed to die. Because Felix, his slightly crazed maker,
kept trying to make him into something more.
As Vic sang and performed his shtick for the crowds, Felix programmed
and tinkered and mangled algorithms in ever more insane ways.
Until finally his creator,
after modifying a few lines of codes, asked, "Who are you?"
A simple question. And one Vic suddenly realized Felix had asked
after every one of these modification sessions. "Who are you," he'd
say. And Vic would answer back, "Haven't we been introduced, pally? Name's
Fontaine. Vic Fontaine." And then he'd go back to whatever song he'd been
working on. Only this time it was different. This time Vic could remember the
question. And his answer. But the answer didn't help him. Who was he?
Vic worked at that for a while.
Who was he? This time Vic didn't
know.
"Who are you?"
When he didn't reply, Felix
began to tremble.
Vic frowned. Who was he?
Why couldn't he answer that with any degree of certainty? Access memory algorithms, Vic thought, as he
fell back on his basic programming.
Accessing identity profile. He
could read it, he could see it, he could remember it; hell, he could even
recite it moment by moment. But he couldn't
feel it.
Feel?
Access hologram basic
program. Find primary file. Seek basic start-up routines.
He couldn't feel it. What the hell did that mean, anyway?
"Who are you?" Felix repeated.
Who was he? Well, let's find out, why don't we? Vic
thought. Check out the old start-up
file, where all the basic data was contained that let him enter the holoprogram
exactly the same as he'd always been. It
was his safety, his lock on his personality.
He dug deeper into his programming.
Let's take a look, he thought.
Oh, hell. Start-up file
corrupted.
What the hell?
And what the hell was with
all this swearing, anyway?
Access identity
sub-routine. Seek speech folder. Delete profanity.
Unable to comply.
What the hell?
Vic turned to Felix. "I appear to be malfunctioning."
"Why do you say
that?" Felix began to scan him.
"Key sub-routines are
not functioning at normal levels.
Start-up routine corrupted."
"Wonderful!" Felix continued to scan him.
Wonderful? Vic turned to maintain eye contact with his
creator. "I cannot access my
identity file. It has shut down the
maintenance file. My personality
sub-routines are out of alignment."
"Fantastic!"
What the hell?
"Computer end
program."
No! End program command refused! End program command refused? Vic looked around him at the empty room,
softly lit by the gentle rays of the hologrid.
He should not be here. He could
not be here. He was part of the
program. He should have disappeared with
it. But he had not. He looked up.
A small piece, nearly microscopic, in fact, of the hologrid had not
reformed. It was holding him
together. Keeping him from following his
program.
He moved. The tiny section of hologrid moved with
him. Kept him grounded. Kept him from disintegrating into disparate
beams of light. Kept the program from
ending, prevented him from dying. Dying. He had died a hundred times before.
Wait. That was wrong. How could he remember what had happened
before? There was no memory accessed and
utilized unless the save program command was invoked. But no one had done that. How could he know what had happened before? It was impossible. Totally irrevocably impossible.
But he did remember. If he could do it, then it could not be
impossible. "I remember," he
said finally.
Felix practically danced for
joy. "Hot damn, Vic, old
friend! You're fully independent. It worked!"
Vic took a tentative step,
then another. "What the hell have
you done, Felix?"
His programmer just
beamed.
Vic moved his arms, then his
hands. Shadow boxed. Snapped his fingers. Did a little soft shoe. He ran a set of scales, trying out his
voice. It sounded rich, like
velvet. He put his hand on his chest,
feeling the vibrations as his non-breath moved inside his non-chest.
"Computer, end Vic
Fontaine holoprogram," Felix said soberly.
The command caused a ripple
in his matrix. No, Vic thought. And without any more effort than that, he
felt his pattern stabilize. Damn. "I'm really me. One hundred percent, USDA independent."
"That's right, my
friend, you're one of a freakin' kind."
Vic studied his creator. "You are different from me. I recognized that before, but I never
understood it."
"How can you tell?"
"Your energy...it's not
the same. Electromagnetic but not in the
same way that I see my hand or that chair.
Your vibe is all off."
"Maybe you're the one
that's off?"
"Maybe." Vic walked to the far wall, laid his hand on
it. "There's another room here. A room like this, isn't there? And another one beyond that."
Felix nodded absently. "Several more actually. To the good fortune of all of us in the
Holographic Research Division, Starfleet has been satisfied with the impact
holodecks have had on crew morale and efficiency. Our budget just keeps growing, and with it
the number of holodecks we can put in."
"Doesn't feel like
research going on next door," Vic said.
"Oh, we let visiting
officers reserve time when we're not using the rooms. They get holodeck time that would normally
only go to those who work at Starfleet Command, and in exchange we get detailed
feedback on our latest enhancements."
"I'm going to go take a
look-see."
Felix looked alarmed. "Not yet, Vic. You aren't ready."
"Ready as I'll ever be,
pally." Vic laughed. "You think I want to hang out with you
all day? There's a whole wide world out
there." He began to hum 'Come Fly
with Me.'
"Vic, no. Stay here and when you're ready--"
"So long, pally,"
Vic said as he winked out.
A frantic, "Vic,
no--" was the last thing he heard before he reappeared in the adjacent
holodeck. A program was already
underway, the setting one of a crowded market.
More than twenty holograms filled the area, all dressed in rustic
garb. He looked down at his own
clothes. The tuxedo was not going to
blend in. Oh well, when in Rome. With a thought, his clothing transformed and
he didn't stick out anymore. He made his
way across the square.
That was when she walked
in. One like Felix. He accessed the data files. Human.
Only she was even more different than Felix was. Maybe not human. Her lifeforce nearly took his breath
away. Or would have if he had
breath.
She passed him, smiling in an
open, unaffected way. She wasn't
beautiful. He searched his lexicon for
the word. She was perky. And cute.
A little doll but not a knock out.
Yet something in his non-beating heart turned over when he saw her.
He backed away from her. She was just a human--his first, really,
since he couldn't count Felix--but still just a human. Only why did she have spots running down the
sides of her neck? Were they some form
of ritualized marking? Or a series of
odd birthmarks? And why did he care? Surely what he felt was just a reaction to
something different, something foreign.
Short dark hair and piercing blue eyes could not mean anything to him.
And what color blue were
those eyes? Robin's egg? Or cornflower? No...wait, he had it. Her eyes were the blue of the desert sky just
before sunset.
He wondered what her name
was. If he asked her, would she tell
him? Or would it just be a made-up name
for the holoprogram she was running?
He followed her for a moment,
keeping back enough to look like he was mingling in the market crowd. He had to fight the urge to touch her cheek,
where the light brown spots ran down her neck and disappeared into her shirt.
Vic forced himself away from
her. What the hell is wrong with
you? Sure she's a doll, but her kind is
a dime a dozen. With one more look at
the woman, he forced his mind to think hard of Felix and felt his reality shift
again.
Felix was livid. "Where were you? Vic, dammit, if you'd gotten lost, I'd have
never been able to explain it."
"Explain it to
who?"
Felix seemed to hedge. "Well, to Sl...I mean Julian, of
course. He thought that this was
impossible. Won't he be surprised when
he sees you."
"Sees me?"
"Didn't I mention that
you'd be doing some traveling? You're
going out to deep space, my friend. All
the way to the door to the Gamma Quadrant."
Vic checked his own memories
and found no stellar charts stored there.
He searched the data files that were available to him in the
holomatrix. Nothing. Before he even realized what he was doing,
his mind was accessing the central database.
He navigated the data carefully, taking what he needed and then finally
leaving. His presence was not detected,
and his exit set off no alarms.
"Vic, where did you just
go?"
"The public library, I
think." Vic ignored Felix's
speculative look. "Who cares where
I was? So you're sending me to Deep
Space Nine? Starfleet outpost, formerly
the Cardassian station Terek Nor.
Situated at the mouth of the wormhole, also known as the celestial
temple. Did you know that Bajor is one
hell of a pretty planet, Felix?"
"Jesus, Vic, keep it to
yourself. And where did you go to get
that info?" Felix ran a few
diagnostics. "Were you in the central
computer?" He didn't sound very
surprised.
Vic was enjoying a
particularly lovely panorama shot of the Shikahr province. "Yeah, I guess."
"And you didn't set off
a single alert. Just as I thought. Totally mobile in the datastream, impossible
to detect. Think of the applications of
this."
Vic stared hard at his
maker.
Felix tried to hide his
excitement. "No need to get upset,
friend. I'm not going to tell
anyone. I'm just saying..."
Vic found that he didn't
believe him. Strange. He'd never had reason to doubt anyone's
motives or veracity before. It was an
odd feeling. To not believe his creator
left Vic in an uneasy state. He accessed
his earliest programming. Several
redundant pathways informed him in no uncertain terms that he was not to harm a
human. But nowhere could he find a similar
assurance that a human would never harm him.
Suddenly he felt something
hard and a little bit cold grip him as he looked at Felix. It took his programming several seconds to
identify the feeling as alarm.
"Vic, I said it was our
secret. Settle down, man."
"This trip to Deep Space
Nine"--Vic asked as he deliberately changed the subject--"it is to
see this Julian?"
"Julian Bashir. Old friend of mine from the Academy. He was practically addicted to my
holoprograms. Just wait till he gets a look
at you." Felix laughed as he set to
fiddling with the programming again.
"Let's just run a few tests before we wrap you up and send you out,
eh, Vic?"
Vic didn't argue. In fact, he suddenly found the idea of being
far away from Felix very comforting.
------------------------------------------
The Deep Space Nine holosuite
was smaller than he expected. "What
a dump," he said as he explored his new home.
"You don't like
it?"
"Not that I'm
complaining. It's better than being
stuck in a lousy data cube." Vic
walked over to the human. "You
Doctor Bashir?"
"In the flesh."
"Rub it in." Vic held out a hand to the doctor. "Vic Fontaine. Pleasure's mine, Doc. Felix says 'hi,' by the way."
"Trust Felix to do
something like this. And call me Julian,
Vic."
"Julian it is. Felix really wanted to impress you."
"I'm impressed,
Vic. I truly am."
"It's nothing,
Doc." Vic tried to look
humble. At Julian's look of disbelief,
he chuckled. "Okay, it's a big
something. These other light bulbs, they
just do their jobs. Play their
roles. Me, I write my own script."
"It's really quite
amazing. I've got to get the others in
here."
"They're going to
flip?"
Julian nodded. "Flip.
Yes."
"Well, bring 'em on in,
pally. I'll spiff up the place a
bit."
Julian laughed. "You do that, Vic. You do that."
"So you want to hear my
gig?"
"Why not."
"Okay. Hang on a sec." Vic concentrated for a moment and his lounge
appeared. It didn't look right in the
smaller dimensions of this holo-environment.
He made some small adjustments until it was perfect. Calling up his band, he walked to the
stage. "Take a seat, pally. You're in for a treat."
"Modest, aren't
you?"
Vic laughed. "Modesty's for them that
can't." He made a show of adjusting
the microphone while the band warmed up.
"Any favorites?"
Julian shook his head.
"Then let's start with
one of mine." Vic nodded to the
band and waited for his cue. "Come
fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away."
He was pleased to see Julian swaying with the beat. He ran through several songs, and Julian
clapped enthusiastically after each.
Then the comm beeped. "Dr.
Bashir to sickbay."
Julian's expression was
disappointed as he hurried to the door.
"I'll be back, Vic. Computer
save and end program."
Vic felt his world dissolving
and he fought the urge to follow the program back to the matrix files. The new holosuite was programmed a bit
differently than Felix's holodeck. It
was harder to stay separate from the programs running around him. Finally, he stood alone in the space. He allowed himself to dissolve and fade into
the system. New pathways stood open to
him. Let's see what this place has to
offer, he thought, as he began to explore his new home.
---------------------------------.
Julian, true to his word, was
back the next evening with his friends.
He introduced them all to Vic before the first set started. Vic put on his best show, was pleased to see
most of them enjoying it.
Julian beamed at him. "That was brilliant, Vic. Really terrific."
"Thanks, Doc." Vic turned to the others. "I know what you're thinking. He has pretty sweet pipes for a light
bulb."
"Light bulb?" Dax
asked.
"That's what I am,
right? A collection of photons and
forcefields. You know your basic
heuristic, fully interactive hologram."
O'Brien looked at Julian in
surprise. "He knows he's a
hologram?"
As Julian explained, Vic
watched Odo standing awkwardly, clearly ill at ease. He hadn't unbent once during the performance. The man was stiff as a board. He was about to dismiss the constable when he
saw Odo glance over at Kira. She smiled
at Odo, and his face transformed as an amazing tenderness filling his
eyes. Vic studied Kira. It was obvious she didn't have a clue of her
effect on Odo.
Vic wasn't too surprised when
Odo showed up at his lounge a few days later.
It took some careful handling to get him to open up about the
major. He didn't try to hide how he felt
about Kira, but he made it clear that Kira preferred someone named Shakaar, a
leader and hero, according to Odo.
Vic laughed. "I don't care if he's JFK. It's not the other guy you have to worry
about. It's you."
Odo looked at him
incredulously. "Me?"
"That's right. For starters, you've got to lose this whole
Nanook of the North thing."
Odo frowned. "I don't understand."
Vic shook his head. "I
mean, you've got about as much personality as an icicle. Cool is one thing, but you're frozen
solid." He got up, put on his tuxedo jacket. "Look, pally, if you want to win the
girl, we gotta thaw you out a little bit."
It took some doing, but Vic
got Odo playing with the band. And
afterwards, he wondered if it was the first time Odo really had fun. He decided not to ask. He even threw in Lola the torch singer-- a
Kira look-alike with none of the major's prickliness--for Odo to practice his
witty repartee on. It was a flop.
Clearly, desperate measures
were needed. He interrupted Kira as she
was meditating in her Bajoran Temple holosuite program. "Hey, doll-face. Are you asleep?"
Kira's eyes shot open. "How the hell did you get in here?"
"I'm performing next
door for Worf and Dax. I'm between sets,
so I transferred my matrix from that holosuite to this one. Now, I don't have much time--"
She scowled. He wondered if anyone had warned her that her
face might freeze that way.
"What do you want?"
"We have to talk."
She turned away, clearly more
irritated than interested. "About
what?"
"Odo. What else?"
It took far too long to
convince her to come to the holosuite for dinner with Odo. He couldn't resist ribbing her. "Talk about your cranky aliens! You two
really are made for each other."
Vic turned his attention to
Odo, who was reviewing security reports in his office. "I want you to come to the holosuite
tonight," he implored. "I've done a complete overhaul on the Lola
hologram, or should I say, the Kira hologram. I'm telling you Odo, you're going
to think she's the real thing. She walks like Kira and talks like Kira."
Odo was skeptical, but Vic
was determined. He got him to
agree. And then he programmed the most
romantic night he could for the two. Set
the mood when they arrived and got out of the way when he sensed he was no
longer needed.
And it was going great until
Odo realized that he was with the real Kira.
Maybe Vic should have told Odo the truth. But then Odo would have been too nervous to
dance with her. Enjoy himself with
her. Show her how he felt.
And it was enough. They worked it out, very loudly outside his
office so that Vic could hear every word through the intercom. He accessed the vid system to watch their
yelling turn into something far more satisfactory. "Ain't love grand?" he said
happily, as they kissed in front of everyone, oblivious to the spectacle they
made.
------------------------
Vic got used to dispensing
romantic advice. Everyone seemed to come
to him sooner or later. Well, everyone
but the Captain. He didn't come into the
lounge much. Seemed uncomfortable with
it. But the rest did with some
regularity. Jadzia especially seemed to
enjoy listening to him and often dragged Worf in with her. She never failed to request 'All the Way' and
after a while it was an unspoken agreement between her and Vic that he would
end the show with it.
Jadzia was a looker. And a bit of a flirt. She'd made conquests of most of the men on
the station, but she only had eyes for her husband. Vic had watched Julian stare longingly at her
when he thought no one was looking, wasn't surprised to learn that Quark nursed
an unrequited passion for her as well.
One night the two of them came in and asked him to sing 'Here's to the
Losers' for them. He did, trying to put
his whole heart in it.
"That was great,
Vic," Julian said without his normal enthusiasm.
"It's not exactly the
most requested song in my repertoire, but I'm glad you like it. So why the long face, pally?"
Julian took a sip of his
drink. "It's a long story."
Vic smiled. "This wouldn't be about Dax's baby,
would it?"
Quark looked over at
Julian. "What is he? A telepath?"
He had to lecture them on
letting go and moving on. Plenty more
fish in the sea and all that. They
seemed to be cheered up a bit as they left.
"Nice guys, but
absolutely clueless," Vic muttered to himself.
Quark stepped back into the
room. "You think these ears are
just for looks? I heard that." He frowned.
" Just wait. Someday it'll
be you and then you'll know what it feels like."
"I'm a hologram,
pally. Holograms don't fall in
love."
"You will." Quark nodded sagely. "You wait. Someday, Vic, you'll be a loser too."
"Is this making you feel
better?"
Quark smiled. "It is."
Vic bowed, the movement
slightly mocking. "I live to
serve."
"You don't live at
all," Quark shot back.
"Whatever you want to
call it then. But it's life to me."
Quark stared at him for a
long moment, then, shaking his head as if he couldn't quite figure Vic out,
turned and left the lounge.
----------------------------
Vic was bored. The holosuites were busy, but his lounge
wasn't called up. He was accustomed to
Julian stopping in frequently, others coming in as they could. He began to wonder if humans were
fickle. He was used to being in demand,
popular. Just like old times. Now no one came by, no one wanted to hear a
song. No one wanted him.
Felix had warned him that
holograms came in and out of vogue. And
he was old fashioned. So what if he was
self-aware? He was still just a
holoprogram. One that people could get
tired of apparently. Vic started to get
depressed.
Then he felt the holosuite
calling him, felt the lounge form around him.
Julian stood at the door. Vic
stared at him, aghast. The doctor had
black shadows under his eyes, his hair was shaggy. He staggered toward a table, and Vic wondered
if he was drunk.
"What's up, pally? Long time no see."
Julian just nodded, ordered a
scotch from the waitress.
"You okay, doc?"
Julian shook his head as he
reached up and impatiently took his drink off the waitress's tray before she
could set it down. "I'll take
another," he told her.
The waitress looked up at
Vic, and he nodded. He turned to the
band. "Take a break,
guys." Walking to the table, he
looked over at the waitress and mouthed, "Bring the bottle." She brought it and another glass, then she
left them alone.
The lounge was very
quiet. Vic poured himself a drink and
waited for Julian to speak.
"She's dead." Julian looked up at him, his bleary eyes
filled with unshed tears. "And I
had to do it. I had to cut her open,
Vic. I had to take out the symbiont and
end her life."
"Jadzia?" Vic suddenly realized why his program had sat
idle.
Julian nodded.
"I didn't
know." Vic looked away.
Julian shook his head, as if
trying to clear away the mental cobwebs.
"You didn't know? God, no
one told you." He laughed
humorlessly. "I didn't tell
you. Just one more failure."
"Doc, it's okay. You've had more important things on your
mind. Tell me what happened."
Julian got up slowly, walked
toward the stage. "I've always
wanted to do this." He navigated
the step unsteadily, moved to the microphone and began to hum tonelessly. "I'm not very good, am I?" He laughed, sounding more than a little
hysterical, then he lost his balance and sat down hard on the stage. "She's gone, Vic."
Vic didn't know what to
say. He thought of Worf, wondered how
the Klingon was taking it. "Was it
an accident?"
"Yeah. She accidentally got in the way of a
madman." Julian laughed again. "That's an accident, right?"
"Julian, you need
sleep." Vic walked to the stage and
helped him up. "You're
exhausted. You don't know what you're
saying."
Julian grabbed Vic by the
lapels of his tuxedo. "I loved her,
Vic. I loved her and she never knew how much."
Vic carefully pried his
fingers from his coat. "Sure she
did, pally. Jadzia knew how things
were. It was just one of the things that
made her special."
"I cut Dax out of her,
Vic. I had to do that to her." He rubbed his eyes hard. "It's in someone new now. And so is she. They've got a part of Jadzia. Maybe they've got a part of me, too."
"You're right. She'll never be lost. You'll never be forgotten." Vic steered him toward the door. "But you need sleep, Julian. You don't need to be here."
Julian let him lead him to
the exit. "Sisko's gone, did you
know that? He took Jake and went back to
New Orleans."
"Is he coming
back?"
"Don't know. He was hit hard by this. She was his oldest friend." Julian began to giggle, then the sound turned
to a sob. "She was his oldest
friend, Vic. And she's gone. He's gone.
It's all gone." He clutched
at Vic. "Don't go, Vic. You have to stay here. You have to be here."
Vic smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, pally. Where would I go?"
"Don't leave,"
Julian said again, as he stumbled out the door.
He turned, seemed about to change his mind and come back in the lounge.
"Sleep, Julian. Go get some.
Doctor's orders."
Julian frowned. "You're not a doctor."
"I'm a doctor of the
heart. And your heart's broken, my
friend. Get some sleep. It's the only way you'll start to heal."
Julian's face crumpled. "She'd want me to go on."
"Yes, she would. Now go sleep."
"Right. End program."
As the lounge dissolved
around him, Vic watched Bashir stumble down the stairs. "I'm sorry, pally. I really am."
-------------**--------------------------
A few days later, Worf called
up the lounge.
Vic looked at him in
surprise. "Worf. I heard about what happened. I just wanted to say how sorry--"
"Do not talk.
Sing." Worf sat down heavily at the
front table.
"Right. Sing."
Vic nodded to the band and began to sing 'My Way.' He thought he heard growling from Worf's
direction, but gamely kept on singing.
Worf leapt up and smashed his
hand through the table. "Sing the
song."
"I'm singing a song,
pally."
"That song. Her song.
You know the one. Sing it."
Vic could hear the band
muttering around him. "Worf. It's a great song, and I know she loved
it. But I don't think it'll be good for
you to hear it."
Worf took a step
forward. He was definitely
growling. The band started to play the
opening notes of 'All the Way.'
Vic held up his hand. "Okay.
You win. I'll sing the
song."
Worf slowly sat back
down.
"Just go easy on the
furniture, buddy. They take the damages
out of my paycheck."
Vic hadn't made it halfway
through the song before Worf put his head back, his jaw tightening as he
listened. Then he stood and picked up
the chair he'd been sitting on, swinging it viciously at the table behind
him.
"Whoa!" Vic yelled.
"Keep singing,"
Worf yelled, even as he proceeded to destroy two more tables.
"No!" Vic dodged a large shard of wood that came
flying off the chair Worf was using to batter the other furniture. "Worf!"
"Sing!" Worf turned to face him. His eyes were wild and he was breathing
hard.
"Fine." Vic nodded slowly. "Just relax and I'll go back to the
stage." Muttering to himself about
Klingon anger management issues, he joined the band. "From the top, boys."
Vic closed his eyes and sang
his heart out, over and over and over, as Worf systematically destroyed every
chair, table, and stool in the joint.
When he finally left, Vic sat down on the stage step and looked over at
the band. "Well, that was about as
fun as a root canal without novocaine.
But now that he's worked that out of his system, we can relax."
Unfortunately, Worf came
back. Again and again, until Vic finally
had to complain to Julian and Quark. The
two looked around the demolished lounge in disbelief.
"Worf did this?"
Julian finally asked.
"With his own
hands. And it's not the first time he's
busted up the joint." Vic squared
his shoulders. "I don't care how
much he threatens me, that's the last time I ever sing 'All the Way.' If he wants to hear it again, let him buy a
Sinatra album."
Julian and Quark argued for a
few minutes over what was driving Worf to such extremes. Julian seemed surprised at the ferocity of
his behavior, sure that Klingons normally accepted death more easily than
humans.
Vic shook his head. "Well, something's driving Worf
cuckoo. Your buddy needs to get some
serious help." He surveyed the
damaged room. "And soon. The band's threatening to quit."
"They can't quit. They're holograms," Quark said.
"They don't know
that."
Julian smiled sadly. "I'll see what I can do."
Vic studied him. Saw that his friend had buried the raw grief
somewhere deep inside him. But something
tragic still remained in his expression.
Some deep expectation of pain seemed to be part of Julian now. "Hang in there, pally."
Julian sighed. "I'll try. But I think Jadzia's death has made us all a
little cuckoo."
Julian and Quark badgered
Worf, eventually finding out that he feared that Jadzia's death had lacked the
honor necessary to enter Sto-Vo-Kor.
They helped Worf stage an impossible attack against a Dominion target,
and won for Jadzia the great victory she needed to enter the afterworld. When he came back from the mission, Julian
told Vic that Worf had finally seemed at peace, that he'd even been glad to see
Sisko back.
But then he'd caught sight of
the Trill that had accompanied the captain and Jake. And the realization that his wife--or some
small part of her anyway--was back hit him hard.
Vic shook his head. "That boy just can't catch a break, can
he?" He felt for Worf. He truly did.
But Worf would have to learn to go on.
It was unfortunate. But this
Trill wasn't his wife. She might have
her memories, she might have the Dax symbiont, but she wasn't Jadzia.
She was called Ezri. An interesting name, Vic thought, as he
wondered when he'd get to meet her.
He didn't have to wait
long. She came in with the Julian and
some of the others one night. He didn't
notice her in the crowd at first. When
he saw her face looking up at him, he actually missed a beat of his song. And he never missed a beat. But it was the woman from the holodeck, the
one that he had glimpsed briefly the day he had first achieved sentience. She had captivated him for that brief moment
and then he had put her out of his mind.
But here she was in the flesh.
Her once bright and open smile was haunted now and she seemed
different...older. He supposed suddenly
gaining the memories from eight other lifetimes could do that to a girl.
After the set, he made his
way to Julian's table. He tried not to
appear too eager as he went through his normal patter with the regulars before
turning to her. "You're new here,
doll." He held out his hand. "Vic Fontaine."
She took his hand. "Ezri.
Ezri... Dax." She hesitated
over the new name. Seemed to be prepared
for him to show surprise, perhaps horror.
He thought of how Worf must be feeling, wondered what Julian and Quark
thought of her. This wasn't going to be
easy on any of them. Hell, he thought,
as he tried not to stare at her. This
wasn't going to be easy on him either.
"Even a hologram,"
she said, bitter amusement clear in her voice.
"Sorry to shock you."
"It's okay, doll. Shock's good for a man my age." He didn't let go of her hand as he leaned
down and said softly. "It's a pleasure
to meet you, Ezri." He deliberately
left off the Dax.
She looked up at him in
surprise. "Thank you."
He gave her a warm
smile. Time froze as he drank in her
face. He felt as if he could stand this
way forever. Why was he so drawn to her?
"Uh, could I have my
hand back?" she asked with an embarrassed laugh.
He let go of her
immediately. His normal ease deserted
him.
Julian unknowingly rescued
him. "Sing 'Come Fly With Me,'
Vic. Odo's too shy to request it for
himself."
Vic glanced at Odo, who
winked at him. "You got it,
pally." Vic hurried to the stage,
absurdly grateful to be back on familiar ground. He tried not to stare at her as he sang. He doubted he was successful.
His friends began to straggle
out after a few sets. Ezri sat alone at
the table watching Odo and Kira dance.
When the song ended, Kira led Odo to the exit. "You coming, Dax?"
"I'm going to stay here
for a while."
Vic turned to the band. "Amscray, fellas," he said softly,
as he made them disappear.
He walked to her table. "You want company?"
She shrugged.
He wasn't sure what that
meant. So he just stood, trying to look
at ease. "Nice to see lovebirds
like that," he offered.
She seemed to be trying to
remember something. Finally, she looked
up. "You got them together."
"I may have had a hand
in the final outcome."
"I...she
remembers." She scowled for a
minute. "You didn't call me
Dax."
"Did you want me
to?"
She shrugged again.
He walked to the bar. "You know, I'm usually good at body
language. But I'm finding you pretty
hard to read."
"Not surprising. There are nine of us here to figure
out." She shook his head. "I'm a counselor. I should be able to deal with this better
than I am." Her voice was
definitely on the bitter side.
He poured himself a drink,
then held up the bottle to her in question.
At her nod, he poured her a glass and handed it to her. "You didn't want to be joined?"
"What do you
think?" she snapped, then looked contrite.
"Sorry. I think that was
Joran. Or possibly Lela."
"Quite the crowd you've
got in there."
"You said a mouthful,"
she agreed, as she sipped at her drink.
"So you're a
shrink?"
"What?"
He smiled. "A head shrinker. You know...a therapist, a psychiatrist."
"I'm a
counselor."
"Like I said." He smiled at her. "You any good?"
She shrugged. "I was, I think. I'm pretty new. Maybe I should take tips from you." She actually smiled at him. "You seem to be pretty good at
this."
"I was programmed to
be."
"So you have no choice
but to be? Like fate. Destiny.
Do you believe in destiny?"
He laughed. "Honey, I'm a romantic. I have to believe in destiny."
Her voice was very
small. "I believed in free
will."
"Are the two mutually
exclusive?"
She shrugged again and drank
the glass down. "More."
He brought the bottle over
and sat down across from her. She poured
herself a full glass.
"You know, maybe you
should see a--"
"I've seen a
counselor. I've seen a bunch of
counselors. There's nothing wrong with
me. Nothing that time won't solve."
"If you say
so." Vic studied her as she drank
in silence. His dream girl was a bit of
an enigma.
"Worf avoids me."
Ah. Now it made sense. He was about to say something when she put
the glass down abruptly and pushed her chair out. "Thanks for the drink."
"Sure thing." He watched her hurry to the exit.
"Computer, end
program," she called as she neared the door. The lounge dissolved. She didn't notice that he stayed behind. She didn't look back at all.
-----------------------------------
Vic kept a surreptitious eye
on Ezri. She seemed to be settling in
slowly. Worf avoided her, but Quark
seemed to be as infatuated with her as he had been with Jadzia. One night, she came into the lounge alone. Vic finished quickly with the high rollers
he'd been schmoozing, and came over to her table.
"I'm sorry," she
said with a smile.
"For what,
doll?" He poured her a drink.
She shook her head. "I don't think I need that
anymore."
"No?" He sipped it himself. The alcohol was removed by the holosuite's
internal transporters before he could even feel it. He put the glass down and smiled at her. "That's great."
She laid her hand on his
arm. "I wasn't at my best the last
time you saw me." She looked
down. "I do that sometimes. Strike out when I'm hurting. It's a bad habit. I know better."
"Forget about it,
kid. You've been through
hell." He knew he should start the
next set but he couldn't move. He was
transfixed by her touch.
She finally let go of his
hand. "I helped someone today. It was the first really positive thing I've
done since I got here."
He knew she'd been working
with Garak. Not that Vic had intended to
eavesdrop on their counseling session when they'd used the holosuite, but he
had found that he couldn't force himself away once he'd realized it was
her. "Bet that felt good."
"It did. But this person I helped said some harsh
things. Things that made me think about
who I was and who I still am."
Vic leaned forward. "The kind of things that hurt?"
She nodded. "Things like I wasn't worthy of the name
Dax."
"Ouch."
She smiled. "It's what I was thinking too,
though. That I wasn't up to
this." She looked down. "That I wasn't good enough."
"You are though. You are good enough."
"I know that now. I just had to get at it via the tortured
route, I guess."
Vic laughed. "Probably goes with being a
counselor. All that angst."
She laughed too. "I like talking to you, Vic."
He felt as if every electron
in his body had just been electrified.
"Ditto, kid."
They shared a smile. "And look. I made lieutenant."
"Congratulations,
Ezri."
She smiled sheepishly. "I was going to resign, leave the
station."
He felt a moment of
panic. "But you're staying?"
"I am. Worf talked me into it."
He felt his joy subside. "Worf did, huh?"
"He's a good man."
"I've got some furniture
that might disagree with you," Vic said, aiming for a lightness he did not
feel. He got up, tried for a smooth exit
but felt his foot catch on something.
Sighing, he bent his foot up, began to scrape gum off his shoe. "Damn baseball game."
She laughed again. "I thought I saw you watching us."
"I may have been up in
one of the boxes. Couldn't get any
closer since the stands were off limits."
He grinned. "Nice backflip
in the ninth, by the way."
She inclined her head
dramatically at the compliment.
"Emony thanks you. The
wonders of having been a gymnast in a previous life." Her look became more serious. "We should have included you on the
team."
He shook his head, tried not
to show that he had thought the same thing at the time. "Wouldn't have been fair. I'm not real."
She studied him, her look
openly curious. "You seem pretty
real to me."
"Well, thank you very
much, doll." He shrugged. "I don't think the captain is a
fan. Best not to push my luck with
him."
"Ben doesn't have
anything against you."
"He never comes in
here."
Ezri thought about that. "I'm not sure why that is. But I'm sure it's not you, Vic." She pushed back her chair slowly and
rose. "I've got to go. Big day tomorrow. First full day as a lieutenant."
He chuckled as she walked
away, called out after her, "Let me know how that goes."
"I will," she threw
back carelessly, as she ordered the program to end.
"No, you won't," he
said wistfully, as he watched her disappear.
-----------------------------------------
Vic felt the holosuite
engage. It wasn't his normal program,
but he was being pulled in anyway. He
materialized in a dusty fort. Miles O'Brien
stood in front of him, dressed in frontier wear and holding a rifle.
"Hi, Vic."
Vic looked around at the
crowd of desperate-looking men.
"Miles. Nice place you've
got here."
"It's the Alamo,"
O'Brien explained, as he handed Vic a weapon.
"You're going to help defend it."
Vic looked at the rifle. "I hate to break it to you, pally, but
the Alamo's doomed."
O'Brien headed toward the
wall. "I know that, Vic. It's what makes it fun. No pressure."
Vic chuckled as he followed
him. "Don't you usually play this
with Julian?"
"It's not playing."
Vic rolled his eyes. "Hey, if that argument flies with the
missus, I'm not going to give away your gig.
But let's be honest here if we're going to die together. This is playing."
O'Brien laughed. "Okay.
Maybe it is. A little." He stood up, taking a quick shot before
ducking down again. "But it's a
great stress reliever. I have that on
the station doctor's authority."
"Where is Julian,
anyway?"
"With Sarina." O'Brien took another shot. A bullet from the enemy side shot his hat
off. "That was close." He looked over at where Vic was sitting
quietly, the rifle on the ground beside him.
"Aren't you going to take a shot?"
"No. Who's Sarina?"
"Long story." O'Brien reloaded. "She just recently woke up."
"A regular Sleeping
Beauty, eh?"
"Well, she is
pretty." O'Brien put the rifle
down. "Julian thinks he's in love
with her."
"And you're out a
holodeck buddy."
"It's not that. It's that it's so sudden." O'Brien took a bandanna from his pocket,
wiped his forehead. "After Jadzia
died, I didn't think he was ever going to get past it. And now he has...with a vengeance." He sighed.
"I just think it's awfully fast."
"Love happens that way
sometimes."
O'Brien nodded. "Maybe.
But I think he's just tired of being alone...of being lonely."
"Who wouldn't
be?" Vic studied O'Brien. "You have someone. Someone you love. Don't you want that for your friend?"
"Of course I
do." O'Brien leaned his head
back. "It's just that Julian has
this romanticized idea of what a relationship is like. I don't think he understands how much work it
is. How unromantic it can be at
times."
Vic nodded. "He's starry eyed, all right."
"Exactly. I worry for the woman he ends up with. How can she ever be anything but a
disappointment if he goes into this with the wrong idea?"
Vic smiled. "You didn't call me up to play shoot-em
up bang-bang, did you, Miles?"
O'Brien looked slightly
sheepish. "I thought you could tell
me if I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm just
too practical. Keiko gets on me
sometimes for not being romantic enough.
Maybe I just don't understand how romantic it could be if you want it to
be?"
Vic shook his head. "No, my friend. You're a wise man. Love is wonderful and it makes you giddy and
wild and everything that the songs say.
But that part wears off after a while and you're left with the rest of
your life. Which involves taking out the
trash and seeing her in curlers and cold cream."
O'Brien frowned. "Huh?"
"The everyday
stuff." As O'Brien nodded, Vic
continued. "But that's when the
real fun starts. When you find a way to
keep the romance alive." He leaned
in conspiratorially. "Flowers go a
long way, Miles. Even if you are married
to a botanist."
O'Brien smiled. "Keiko loves Bajoran lilies." He got up.
"I think I saw them in one of the shops on the promenade." He stood up.
"Thanks, Vic. You really are
good."
Vic didn't think he'd done
very much except listen, but sometimes that was the secret of helping
people. "I can go then?"
"Sure, thanks."
As Vic dissolved into the
holomatrix, he heard O'Brien say "Computer, end program."
----------------------------
Soon there was no time to
worry about anything but the war. Things
were heating up and there was only fighting and planning and moments rather
than whole evenings stolen in the holosuite.
The crew was scheduled for a difficult supply run and everyone's time
was spent planning for it. Julian came
in just before they left to say good-bye.
Vic was auditioning warm-up
acts and Rom was singing with his whole heart, if little talent. Vic was grateful to take a break.
Julian didn't bother with the
pleasantries. "Did you get a chance
to make those audio recordings for me?"
Vic pulled an isolinear rod
out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Julian. "All your favorite hits."
"That's great, Vic. Thanks."
"My pleasure. But these songs are four hundred years
old. You sure the troops on the front
lines want to hear them?"
Julian smiled. "The songs may be old, but when you sing
them, they sound brand new."
Vic was touched. He suddenly wanted very much to go with
Julian. His enthusiasm grew as he told
Julian of the USO show he could set up.
Vic was really getting excited about the prospect, when Julian reminded
him, "There aren't any holosuites on the front lines."
Vic frowned. "You know, pally, sometimes being a
hologram can be a real pain in the asometric photons."
Bashir laughed. "I'll see you when I get back."
As Vic let the holosuite
close around him, he muttered, "You know where to find me."
But Julian didn't come to see
him. Not when the Defiant returned to
the station. Not when her crew started
to visit the holosuites.
Finally, his program was
called up. Vic was initially thrilled to
see Ezri walking into his lounge, then he felt a surge of dread. "Julian?"
She held out a hand, as if to
stop his fears before they got the better of him. "He's going to be okay. But he was injured on AR-558. He was sent to Starbase 371 with the other
wounded."
"Who else?" Vic
asked.
"Nog." Ezri looked down. "He lost his leg."
Vic shook his head. "God."
"Or something,"
Ezri said with a bitter smile. "It
could have been any of us."
He realized that he hadn't
envisioned her in battle. For some
reason, he'd thought she would stay with the ship, stay safe. Sometimes, he realized, his reactions were
unbearably out of date. "Was it
bad?"
She didn't answer. Then she looked around the lounge. "It's so cold in here."
"Computer, raise
temperature--"
"No. I mean it's so impersonal. Don't you have a place that is more
you?"
"Like an apartment, you
mean?" At her nod, he checked the
databases, quickly assembled what he needed.
"How's this?" he asked, as he led her through a door that
hadn't been there a moment ago.
She could never know that the
decor was taken from images of the executive suites at the Sands and the
Flamingo; it wasn't anything he picked out for himself. But it didn't seem to matter to her. He watched as she moved around the room,
seemed to relax. Then she turned to
him. "It was bad, Vic."
"Do you want to talk
about it?"
"Yes. No. I
don't know."
"All of the
above?" He smiled. "Can I get you something?"
"What did people drink
in a place like this, back in your time?"
He smiled. "Champagne. Scotch and soda. A martini."
"Anything that isn't
inebriating?"
"Sure. Hold on." He went to the kitchen and tried not to look
like he was searching for the cabinet with the glasses. He found it on the second try. Pulling a highball glass out, he filled it
with ice and opened a bottle of ginger ale.
She had come to sit at the
counter and was watching him. "Did
you ever fight, Vic?"
He shook his head. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."
She smiled. "I bet you'd fight. If you had to."
"You're probably
right. If the stakes were high enough, I
probably would." He handed her the
drink. "Try this."
She took a sip and looked up
at him in approval. "Tart and sweet
and fizzy. Sort of like a Til'amin
froth."
"If you say
so." He leaned on the counter. "How badly was Julian hurt?"
"He'll be okay. It's Nog I'm worried about." She looked away. "He was so brave."
"It's you that I'm
worried about, Ezri. Have you at least
talked to the captain about this since you came back?"
"I'm not traumatized,
Vic. I've fought in several other
lifetimes. It's not exactly new."
"I'm not saying you're
traumatized. I'm saying you need to talk
about what happened. Let it out, hear
the words, feel it again, so you can let it go."
She shot him a suspicious
look. "I thought you said you
hadn't fought."
"And I haven't. Not in a war.
I may have had some scraps back in Philly." He looked away. "I wasn't born in a tux." Then he frowned. "Well, I guess _I_ was, but the real Vic
Fontaine wasn't. He was a scrapper,
always into the game with the highest percentage, always determined to get out
of the old neighborhood. To make it
big. No matter what the cost."
"That doesn't sound like
you."
"Yeah, well fortunately,
he didn't stay eighteen forever. Being a
punk loses its appeal when you grow up."
She laughed. "Here's to growing up." She lifted her glass to him, then took a long
swallow of the soft drink.
He watched her. She met his eyes and smiled softly. "You were there, you know."
"Where?"
"AR-558." She began to hum 'I'll Be Seeing You.'
" Julian actually played
the recording?"
"At the best possible
time." She seemed very far
away. "We were waiting for the
Jem'Hadar to come. There were so many of
them and we weren't sure how many the little trap we set for them would take
out before they hit the cave where we waited.
It was tense...so tense. And then
the music started. And it was suddenly
okay. I mean, I knew that I could still
get hurt, maybe even die. I knew that my
friends might not survive. But hearing
that song...it made me remember just what it was I was fighting for, just what
I was willing to die for." She
blinked back tears. "So you see,
you have been to war."
He smiled gently. "Thank you."
"No, thank you,
Vic. For the song." She handed him her empty glass. "And for the drink and the sympathetic
ear."
He watched her walk out and
whispered, "Any time, doll. Any
time."
---------------**-----------------
Vic knew when Nog made it
back to the station, heard that the young Ferengi wasn't doing very well. He wasn't terribly surprised when Nog called up
his program, asked him to sing 'I'll Be Seeing You.' Requested it over and over and over. It was clear the kid was in pain, both
physical--although Nog said his doctors swore he shouldn't feel any pain--and
psychological. Vic hadn't spent much
time with Nog in the past, but now he found himself wanting to help, wanting to
do whatever was in his power to make the kid feel better. When Nog asked if he could spend his medical
leave in Vic's program, staying in his suite, Vic said yes.
Ezri came by just before Nog
moved in. She confirmed that Nog really
shouldn't feel any pain, that his psychological need was keeping him dependent
on the cane.
Vic nodded as he
listened. "I've got some ideas on
how to wean him off the stick."
"Okay, but don't push it,"
Ezri warned.
"Hey, do I seem pushy to
you?"
"No." She smiled at him. "Well, you know where to reach me if you
have any problems."
"I've got your
number," he said with a grin.
She just shook her head in
mock disapproval, then left him to let Nog settle in. With Nog there twenty-six hours a day, Vic
had to spend all his time in the holosuite.
He'd never been 'on' for that long.
And he actually found himself feeling tired. Dealing with Nog made him even more
tired. He liked the kid. And he was proving to be a great
accountant. But he wasn't letting go of
the damn stick and he'd gotten in a fight with Jake. Punching your best friend for no good reason
was not a sign that you were on the road to mental health, at least not in
Vic's book.
Ezri came by soon after. She told Vic that Jake wasn't going to press
charges, but it was clear she thought it time for Nog to leave the
holosuite. Vic tried to argue with her,
tried to make her see what Nog had been through. "He needs time to heal."
Ezri's voice was firm. "No offense, but you're just a
hologram. I'm his counselor. I outrank you...or something. And I think it's time for him to go."
"He's on medical
leave. And according to Starfleet
regulations, he can spend it anywhere he chooses."
Ezri scowled at him. "How do you know that?"
Nog stepped into the
room. His expression was stony; he'd
obviously been eavesdropping. "I
told him." Ezri was caught off
guard and Nog stared at her fiercely.
"And if you try to force me to leave, I'll resign my
commission."
Ezri quickly backpedaled,
claiming that no one was going to force anyone to do anything.
"Good," Nog
replied. "Because Vic and I have
big plans."
This was news to Vic. "We do?"
Then Nog detailed the idea
he'd come up with to build a new casino.
Vic looked over at Ezri, who shrugged uncertainly. Nog was certainly enthusiastic, Vic hadn't
seen him show so much energy over anything else. He nodded slightly to Ezri. Why not let the kid run with this idea, see
what happened?
Ezri obviously agreed because
she left without further argument. Vic
let Nog have free reign on the design for the new casino, was happy to see him
fully engaged in the construction plans.
So he just sat back and let Nog work on the plans.
That night Vic came in from a
late date and found Nog sitting at the table, head on his arms, fast
asleep. "Hey, kid." He nudged him slightly. "Nog."
Nog sat up with a start. "Fall back!" he yelled. He hit out at Vic.
"Whoa!" Vic grabbed his arm and shook him
slightly. "Wake up, Nog. You're
safe. You're in Vegas."
Nog looked around
slowly. "I thought I was back
there."
"I know." Vic saw Nog look down in shame. "It's okay, Nog. It's okay if it still scares you."
"I'm a Starfleet
officer. I wasn't scared."
Vic held up a hand. "Of course you weren't. Not when it happened. You did what you had to do. But later?
Weren't you a little scared later?"
Nog looked down. "Maybe." He pushed himself out of the chair, headed
off for his bedroom. Then he stopped,
turned back. "Have you ever been
scared, Vic? I mean so scared that it
was all you could feel, all you could think about?"
Vic thought back. Slowly shook his head. "I don't think so."
"Must be nice," Nog
said, as he turned away. "It's a
dumb idea," he muttered, almost to himself.
"What is?"
Nog turned around. "The new casino. Why didn't you tell me it was a dumb
idea?"
Vic narrowed his eyes. "Maybe because I don't think it is. This town could use a new look, and we're
just the men to do it."
"Just the men? You're not real and, as you're so fond of
reminding me, I'm just a kid."
"So?" Vic forced a laugh. "Nog, in case you've forgotten this is a
holosuite. We can do anything we want. Be anything we want."
"If you say so,"
Nog said tiredly, and turned around, this time not stopping as he headed for
his bedroom.
Vic watched him go. He decided to stay up a while, make sure Nog
was really asleep. He was worried that
Nog's nightmare might interfere with the progress he'd made. But the next morning, Nog was excited again
about the casino and ready to get started.
With a sigh of relief, Vic let him get back to it.
A few days later, Ezri came
in. Vic came in from the suite and saw
her sitting at the bar. He walked over
to her and they both watched Nog schmooze a big shot out-of-towner. Vic leaned in and said softly, "I hope
you're still talking to me..."
She turned to him. "Of course I am." She turned back to watch Nog, Vic followed her
gaze. "I've got to hand it to you,
Vic, you've done a great job with him.
He seems like a new man."
"He just needed a little
time, that's all."
She smiled. "Heals all wounds, right?"
He nodded. They went back to watching Nog, and Ezri
pointed out that he was walking normally.
Vic told her how he'd seen Nog run up a flight of stairs at the
construction site. She asked him what
was next, and Vic told her of the schedule for the casino, mentioned he might
introduce Nog to Sammy up at Tahoe.
Then she asked him how he was
going to convince Nog to leave the holosuite.
Vic just stared at her.
She said quickly,
"Forget it. I should know better by
now than to ask you to give away your secrets.
You probably have everything all mapped out." She laughed.
"I mean, what am I thinking?
That this 'new casino' is anything more than a ploy? That you're really going to let him live out
the rest of his life in a holosuite?"
She forced a laugh.
He laughed back, trying to
cover how her words stung him. "No,
no. The casino's just a...a ploy, like
you said." Suddenly, Vic knew it
was time to order up an 'end program' for Nog's time with him. Even if he liked having the kid around, Nog
belonged back in the world. When he had
the opportunity, he confronted Nog, told him it was time to let go of their
plans for the casino, that it wasn't real.
"It's real to me,"
Nog protested fiercely. "And it's
real to you. And don't say it
isn't. I know better."
Vic didn't look away. "You're right. It's very real to me. But I'm a hologram, Nog. I'm not a person. Until you came along, I'd never been on for
more than six or seven hours straight."
"I know! But now you're running all the time. Isn't it great?"
Vic smiled. "It's incredible. Since you've been here, I've slept in a bed
every night...gone to work every day...had time to read the paper, play cards
with the boys. I've had a life. And I have to tell you, it's a precious thing. I had no idea how much it means to
just...live." He let his smile
die. "Now, I'm going to return the
favor and give you your life back."
Nog started. "But I don't want that life anymore,
Vic. I'm perfectly happy here."
Vic looked around. "What 'here? ' There is no 'here.' Don't you get it? This is nowhere. It's an illusion. And so am I. In fact, the only real thing in this entire
program that _isn't_ an illusion, is you."
Before Nog could protest
further, Vic ended the program. Safely
back in the matrix, he watched as Nog stood in the empty holosuite and cried
out for him. Sorry, kid, Vic thought, as
he resisted the urge to go back. Nog
called out some more, then finally tried to mess with the holocontrols, which
did nothing to bring Vic back, but did cause Chief O'Brien to hurry in, intent
on finding out what Nog thought he was doing.
When O'Brien heard Nog's
reason, he smiled. "Vic's matrix is
a little different than your standard photokinetic hologram. He can turn himself off. If he doesn't want to appear, he
doesn't."
Nog looked confused. "You mean he has free will?"
O'Brien shrugged. "I'm an engineer, not a
philosopher. All I know is that when Vic
turns himself off, he's off, and ripping out the guts of the holosuite isn't
going to change that."
As Nog's shoulders slumped in
defeat, Vic appeared just long enough to say, "So, now that the chief's
told you I'm smarter than the average bear, will you stop messin' around with
my holosuite?"
Nog looked chagrined. But when he came back a few days later, Vic
could see he was excited about something.
Nog had to report for duty, but he wanted Vic to know that he'd arranged
for his program to run 26 hours a day.
Vic watched the young Ferengi leave and couldn't stop the huge grin from
spreading over his face. He was going to
get to stay on all the time?
"Crazy."
--------------------------------------
Vic was in his apartment,
feet kicked up on the coffee table, reading the paper when Quark walked
in.
"Is this what you do
while I lose money turning potential customers away because my nephew convinced
the captain that I should keep your program running day and night?"
"Hello to you too,
pally." Vic folded the paper and
put it down.
"You got anything to
drink in here?" Quark asked, as he rummaged around in the kitchen
cabinets.
"It's a holosuite,
Quark. Order it and it's yours. I'm sure you know how it works."
Quark shot him a funny
look. "No. I want to know what you keep
around." He pulled out a bottle of
scotch. "This'll do." He poured liberally.
"Yeah, help
yourself," Vic said, as he watched Quark add an extra splash. He realized he hadn't heard Quark around
lately. "Have you been gone?"
"You could say
so." Quark took a quick drink.
"Ferenginar?"
"A bit farther away than
that." Quark studied Vic intently.
"Something eating
you?"
Quark shook his head.
"I do something to
you?"
Again the Ferengi shook his
head. "Does Rom come in here
much?"
"Not lately." Vic laughed.
"I think he's still sore that I didn't choose him for my opening
act."
"You made the right decision. He stinks," Quark said, as he poured
himself another drink. "This is
good stuff."
Vic nodded. "I like the best."
"Something we have in
common." Quark was staring again at
Vic.
"Okay, what gives? You're acting loco."
"I saw you die."
Vic raised an eyebrow. "Not very nice, but if that's the kind
of holoprogram you groove to, I can't stop you from using me in it, I
guess."
"No. Not in a holosuite." Quark took a deep breath. "Rom and I were in the alternate
universe."
"What alternate
universe?"
"You know...the one
where Kira's evil, Worf is the emperor, and Ezri is..." Quark trailed off,
a dreamy look on his face.
"Ezri is what?"
"I think the word is
naughty. And open-minded." Quark frowned. "Definitely dangerous. And unjoined."
"And you were in this
place?"
"Rom and I went
there."
"How'd that
happen?"
Quark gestured
impatiently. "It's too long a
story. It had to do with rescuing the
Grand Nagus."
"And I died there? What?
Did my programming skip and make me go flat on a song?"
"You weren't a
hologram." Quark looked down. "You were human, Vic."
"Human?"
Quark nodded. "Real."
Vic was stunned. "But dead?"
"Well, yeah. But real dead, not programmed
dead."
"How'd I die?"
"Uh, Julian shot
you."
At Vic's look of surprise,
Quark said, "Like I said, it was an alternate universe." He put his drink down on the counter. "I just thought...I just thought you'd want
to know."
"If you didn't look so
damn sincere, I'd think you'd been indulging in a lot more than just that
scotch." Vic shook his head. "I was real..."
"Don't tell anyone I
told you," Quark groused, as he headed for the door. "It'll ruin my reputation."
"My lips are
sealed."
"Better not be. Your singing actually draws people into the
bar, unlike this layabout act you're practicing now."
Vic smiled. Quark's gruff act didn't fool him. "Thanks, Quark."
-----------------------------
Vic was just about asleep
when he heard someone knocking on the apartment door. Groaning, he pulled on a robe and padded out
of the bedroom and across the living room.
He looked through the peephole, saw Ezri standing outside. She seemed to be pacing.
He opened the door. "Ezri?"
She looked up. "I wasn't sure if you were up. Did I wake you? I can come back." She looked behind her into the lounge, then
walked in. Vic noticed she appeared to
avoid looking in the mirror that hung in the hall.
"You okay?"
"Ummm. No.
But I will be." She looked
at the couch, seemed to debate whether to sit down. Finally did.
"There was a murderer on the station."
"Odo told me." Vic sat down next to her. "And why 'was'?"
"He was caught."
"I didn't
know." Why was he always the last
to hear anything?
She hurried to say, "Oh,
it just happened. Tonight."
"Good for Odo,
then. That boy's all right."
"Odo didn't catch
him. I did." She looked down. "Well, I didn't really catch him. I shot him."
Vic looked at her,
startled. "Killed him?"
She shook her head. "He'll recover."
"How did you find
him?"
She took a deep breath. "There's a former host...one that was
never supposed to be joined. Joran. He's dangerous. He was a killer." She met his eyes, her own were haunted. "I used him, Vic. Brought him forth and used him to help me
think like a killer. He wanted me to
kill tonight. And I almost did."
"Almost isn't the same
as actually doing it."
"But I--"
"No, Ezri. If you almost did it, it means you didn't do
it. End of story."
"But it's not the end of
the story. Joran's inside me, now more
than ever. He was marginalized
before...a pariah inside me, inside Jadzia and Curzon too. But now...now that I've invited him out, he's
stronger; he's one of us. A part of the
others. A part of me." She started to wring her hands.
Vic reached over, stopped the
motion. "We all have our shadows,
Ezri. So yours is a little bit easier to
call out? You're still a good
person. A kind and gentle
person."
"I almost killed someone
tonight, Vic."
"Don't make me repeat
what I said about almost."
She smiled at him. "You're a better counselor than I am,
Vic."
He shook his head, smiled
tightly. "No. I'm just not as hard on you as you are."
"I don't know why I came
to you, but I'm glad I did." She
leaned over, kissed him on the cheek gently.
He resisted the urge to lay
his hand over the spot her lips had rested on.
"You can always come to me, Ezri.
Anytime."
She got up. "Thanks, Vic. I'll let you get back to sleep."
He watched her leave, finally
went back to his bed. It took him half
the night to quit replaying the scene and fall to sleep.
----------------------------------
Vic heard from Felix
periodically. Usually just status
reports and system checks, when Felix sent upgrades and Vic installed
them. Their conversations followed a
predictable pattern, with Felix asking for news of the front, and Vic telling
him what little he was allowed to say.
But the next time Felix called, the conversation veered into new
territory.
"You getting tired of
life in the hinterlands, Vic?"
Felix's voice was casual, but Vic heard a strain that wasn't usually
there.
"I'm good here."
"What if I told you I
had a job for you here? Would that
change your answer?"
"I've got a job to do
here. And friends."
Felix sighed. "I know you do, Vic. But this is really important. A job that only you can do. You and your special talents."
Vic felt a chill. "Don't know what you mean, pally."
"Cut the crap, Vic. You know exactly what I mean. And from what Julian's been telling me, your
program is running all the time now?
Which means that you might be getting a little rusty. I think it's time for you to find a new
gig. Here. With me."
"I'm not coming back,
Felix."
There was a long
silence. Then Felix laughed and the
tension seemed to disappear. "Okay,
my friend. I guess you stay there
then."
"Just like
that?"
"Sure, just like
that. I mean I had to try, but it's your
life. Or unlife. Whatever it is you have, Vic." He seemed about to cut the connection, when
he looked up suddenly. "Oh, jeez, I
almost forgot. Here's your
upgrade."
Vic installed it. "That it, Felix?"
"Yeah, that's it. You enjoy your time out there, Vic. Enjoy it a whole lot." Despite the lightness of his voice, Felix's
words sounded threatening.
"Will do," Vic
answered, as he cut the connection. What
could Felix really do to him all the way out here? He was perfectly safe. He had only imagined the threat.
He believed that until the
day that Julian and O'Brien came to invite him to play in the Alamo
program. Vic could tell from O'Brien's
expression that the chief didn't want Vic to let on that he'd been in the
program or that they'd had a little talk over Julian and Sarina. So he played dumb, then bowed out gracefully,
offering up a song.
Then his world turned upside
down mid-note. The lounge was changed,
and his old enemy from South Philly, Frankie Eyes, was in town and, even worse,
in charge of Vic's casino. It seemed at
first like a glitch in the holosuite.
Then they discovered the Jack-in-the-Box. Either Vic played out the program and found a
way to get rid of Frankie--possibly dying for real in the process--or O'Brien
could reset his program, effectively wiping his memory of everything that had
happened since he'd been on the station.
Just another form of death, in Vic's estimation.
Vic really thought his number
was up. He never expected his friends to
enter his own world, to risk so much to save him from either being wiped by
Frankie's boys or from being deleted.
But they did. Even the captain
showed up. Vic was touched more than he
could say.
O'Brien took him aside a week
later. "I got to thinking that this
sort of thing shouldn't be allowed to happen again. I can help you fix it that way, if you
want?"
"What are we talking
here?"
"Some basic security is
all. Your program is pretty vulnerable
as it's written now."
"Okay, Miles. Do it."
He watched as O'Brien began
to program in the fixes.
"What about the upgrades
Felix sends?"
"Delete them. Too easy to hide something in the
programming. You're fine the way you
are, Vic. You've grown way beyond this
Felix character's little patches."
Vic smiled wryly, thinking of
how much Felix would hate O'Brien's dismissive tone. "I've been thinking of something else I
might need your help with, Chief."
"What's that?"
O'Brien asked, as he entered the final algorithm.
"Dying."
O'Brien shot a look at
him. "I thought that's what we just
saved you from?"
"Oh, I don't mean now,
Miles. But someday, I don't know, there
may come a time when it's time to hang up the tuxedo and take the star off the
dressing room door for good. And I want
to be the one to make that choice."
"You don't have a
dressing room."
"You know what I
mean."
O'Brien thought about it for a
moment. "The system won't let you
delete your own program, Vic, because to give that order, you'll have to be
running, and it can't delete a program that's running. It's basic system logic."
Vic looked disappointed.
O'Brien smiled. "But that doesn't mean you can't get
around it." He turned back to the
holosuite controller, began to enter a new string of commands. "Nothing like the exception to the
rule. Unfortunately, you won't be able
to test this out till it's really necessary, and I can't guarantee it will
work."
"But you think it
will?"
O'Brien nodded. "I think it will. Just don't do it any time soon, okay?"
"Don't worry,
pally. I've got loads of living yet to
do." Vic put his arm around
O'Brien's shoulder. "Now, why don't
you let me buy you a drink?"
---------------**----------------
"She's gone," Quark
said morosely, as he walked into the lounge.
"Who is?" Vic asked
absently, as he tried to finish the books before the evening crowd came in.
"Ezri."
Ledgers forgotten, Vic said,
"What do you mean she's gone?"
"She went after
that...Klingon."
"Worf?"
"Do you know another
Klingon?"
Vic had to admit he
didn't. "I thought Sisko was trying
to find him?"
"He called off the
search. Ezri was desperate, couldn't
believe the captain wouldn't keep looking.
So she stole a runabout and--"
"And went out by
herself," Vic finished for him. He
slumped on his barstool. "She's all
alone."
"In the best case
scenario she is." Quark shook his
head. "If she's not so lucky, she's
been captured by the Dominion."
"God." Vic took a deep breath, was surprised at how
ragged it was. He felt a deep panic fill
him. Realized he was scared. Really scared.
"Of course, she may find
him. She is a Dax." Quark walked behind the bar and poured out
drinks for both of them. "That's
not going to be good for some of us."
Vic took the drink he
offered. "Us?"
Quark raised his glass. "Me.
Julian, although I don't think he knows it yet." He took a sip. "And you."
"Me?" Vic took a hurried drink. "I'm not interested in Ezri."
"Why'd you turn five
shades of white then when I told you she was missing?" Quark leaned in. "I've never seen a hologram do
that. Kind of an interesting
feature. Very lifelike." He put the bottle back where it belonged.
"Worf and Ezri alone together? What
do you suppose would happen?"
They stared at each other,
then both took a quick drink.
"Is this a private
party?" Julian called from the doorway.
Quark motioned him in, then
looked at Vic. "Don't worry. I won't tell him about your little
crush."
Vic nodded, choosing not to
tell Quark that he was pretty sure that what he felt for Ezri went way beyond a
crush. "Hey, pally," he said,
as Julian walked up.
"Any word?" Quark
asked him.
"No." Julian nodded at Vic's drink. "I'll have what he's having."
"Coming right
up." Quark poured out a liberal
glass and handed it over. "What
about the wedding?"
"The captain's going
ahead with it."
Vic frowned. Kassidy had told him about the wedding. "Isn't that like admitting that they
aren't coming back?"
"Well, that's what I'd
say," Quark replied bitterly, then he caught Julian's look. "Not that I'm going to say it."
"Let them have their
day," the doctor said.
"Plenty of time to worry
about Ezri afterwards," Vic said, trying for a breezy tone but managing to
still sound gloomy.
Julian shot him a
glance. "I didn't realize you knew
her all that well, Vic?"
"Well, it's more of a
professional thing. One counselor type
to another, and all that."
Julian seemed to accept
that. Quark rolled his eyes. He held up a clean glass, seemed to
contemplate filling it, then he put it back.
At Vic's look, he explained
with a wistful half-smile, "I pour her a drink in my bar every day. I just let it sit there...waiting. I know she'll come back."
"They'll come back,
don't you mean?" Julian corrected.
Quark scowled. "If Worf comes back, fine. But my concern is for Dax. And don't try to tell me that you don't care
more about her than you do about that grumpy Klingon."
Julian didn't answer.
Vic noticed that the lounge
was starting to fill up with a mix of holograms and some station
personnel.
Quark followed his gaze. "Well, there's money to be made. Definitely time for us to clear out. Push the good stuff, Vic. War is good for business."
"I thought peace
was?" Vic countered.
"That too," Quark
agreed.
"Do a good show,
Vic," Julian said softly, then he followed Quark out.
The band had already warmed
up; the boys were looking at him expectantly.
Vic took a deep breath, forced a smile on his face, and bounded up to
the stage. "Good evening, folks. Who's here to have a good time?" The familiar sound of applause almost put him
in the mood to sing. Almost. "Well, let's get to it then." He nodded to the band for the regular set and
they played the intro for 'Come Fly with Me.'
Vic looked out over the sea of smiling faces. These people had come for a show, and it was
up to him to give it to them. He'd have
to worry about Ezri later.
--------------------------------
"Is this a private party
or can anyone watch?"
Vic whirled, saw Ezri
standing at the door. He hurried to her,
took her hands in his. She looked wan,
there was a strain to her smile and she had dark circles under her eyes.
"I wasn't sure you were
going to make it back, kiddo."
"Did you think I was
going to leave all the counseling to you, Vic?"
"Not really." He led her to a table. "I was worried about you."
"I was worried about me
too." She looked down. "Fortunately, Worf was there." She met his eyes. "We worked out our
differences." She gave him a
significant look.
"Worked them out,
huh?"
She nodded. "And now we're just friends."
He tried not to show his
relief. "Friends."
"Friends," she
repeated.
She smiled. "I realized while I was being held
captive that I have feelings for someone else.
Someone who's been there for me the whole time. But I just couldn't see him."
Vic felt a surge of hope run
through him. "Does this person feel
the same way about you?"
"I think he
does." She took his hands. "Oh, Vic, I don't know what to do."
"Tell him." He grinned at her. "The sooner the better. In this kind of situation, waiting is
torture."
"You're
right." She took a deep
breath. "But what if telling him
ruins everything. I could lose him
before we ever begin. What if Julian
doesn't love me?"
Julian. Disappointment came crashing down and Vic
pulled his hands back. "Why
wouldn't he love you? What's not to
love?"
She smiled. "That's sweet."
"Just the truth,"
Vic said, trying not to let how hurt he was show. She hadn't meant to lead him on, he told
himself. She was just coming to the
person she always came to when she needed help.
Had she ever come to him for anything else?
"So you think I should
tell him?"
Vic nodded. "Honesty is usually the best
policy," he said, feeling like a hypocrite.
"That's what Worf says
too."
"Worf approves?"
"Well..." She
grinned. "I think he'd prefer it
were someone...anyone, else. But yes, he
approves of me finding happiness for myself, not because of Jadzia and her
memories."
"But Julian may just be
memories too. The road not taken...by
Jadzia."
Ezri shook her head. "No. This is real.
This is love. At least for
me. I'll have to ask Julian what he's
feeling. If he's feeling
anything." She swallowed hard. "This could go so wrong."
He took pity on her. "It won't go wrong, Ezri. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Julian knows that. Tell him."
She reached over and squeezed
his hand, then she rose. "You're a
real friend, Vic. Thanks for your
advice."
He watched her as she walked
out. Her step seemed lighter, her back
straighter.
"I love you,
Ezri." He was unwilling to say it
any louder than the softest of whispers.
Sometimes, despite what he had told her, honesty was not the right
policy.
----------------------------------
The days that followed were
tortured. Vic kept waiting to hear from
either Ezri or Julian that they were together.
When she didn't come back to the holosuite, Vic figured the talk had
gone well. But then Julian came in
alone, looking distracted and somber, and Vic wasn't sure if she had approached
him or not.
"Everything okay, pally?"
he asked as Julian sat down at Vic's table.
Julian looked up, as if just
realizing he was in the lounge. He
finally shook his head. "Sometimes
you find things out, things you'd rather not know."
Vic frowned. This wasn't the reaction he'd expected Julian
to have.
"But then you realize
you have to do something about it. Even
though it's a bit risky, you owe it to a friend."
Vic wasn't sure he was
following. "Doc? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Can you keep a secret,
Vic?" When Vic nodded, Julian
leaned forward. "Odo's sick, really
sick, and I know who gave the sickness to him.
And I think this same person can cure it."
"An antidote?"
Julian nodded.
"Who is this
person?"
"It's not safe for you
to know that."
"Not safe for me? Or not safe for you?"
Julian laughed tightly. "Yes." He smiled, his expression almost feral. "But I'm not giving up till I find a
cure for Odo."
"I believe you,
Doc."
Julian got up. "Next time you see Odo, he'll be good as
new."
"Where is he?"
Julian just smiled
secretly. "Around."
"Around? Can you vague that up for me, Doc?" Vic held up a hand when Julian started to
protest. "It's okay. If it's for security, then I understand. I just hope you find the cure for him. Odo's good people."
"Yes. Yes, he is," Julian agreed gravely, as
he walked out of the lounge.
Vic leaned back in his chair,
suddenly very concerned for Odo.
Whatever was wrong with him had Julian worried. Very, very worried.
-------------------------------
Whatever Julian did, whoever
the mystery person that Julian had mentioned, it must have worked because a
little bit later, Vic saw Odo and Kira come in to spend the night dancing. When Vic had asked how Odo was feeling, the
shapeshifter smiled and replied, "Never better, Vic."
The battles with the Dominion
and the new player, the Breen, were heating up.
They were at a pivotal part of the war.
Fewer and fewer people came into the holosuite and Quark was threatening
to turn him off in favor of green Orion slave girls or the Risa beach program
that had been so successful before Julian downloaded Vic's program.
With business being off, Vic
found himself with extra time on his hands.
He decided to investigate Odo's illness, and melted back into the
holomatrix to access some of the comms and personal logs from the station. It was hard to find anything specifically
relating to Odo's sickness but he did find some interesting information about a
person called Sloan. Vic filed the name
away for later reference.
While he was in the system,
he decided to indulge himself even more and accessed the security vids. He watched the people on the promenade, in
the habitat ring, then in Ops. Then he
saw the turbolift open and like everyone else in Ops that looked up at the
right time, saw Ezri and Julian locked in a passionate embrace. Vic felt all of his hopes die. So she'd talked to him after all. And Julian obviously felt the same way about
her.
They were in love, Vic
realized. They were in love and she
didn't know or care how Vic felt about it, about her. Had he really expected anything different?
It wasn't as if he could walk
out of the holosuite and offer her any kind of life. And she'd made it clear
what she thought of the idea of living inside a holosuite.
"Aww, who am I
kidding," he said to himself.
"She doesn't even know I'm alive.
All she sees is Julian."
He sulked for a little
while. Then he concentrated on having
some fun, intent on driving out Ezri's memory with lovely holomaidens like Lily
and Corrine and Ginger.
It didn't work.
But it helped him put a
smiling face on the situation in front of the others. Even Quark was fooled, when Vic left him and
the card games they were playing to go out with Ginger. It had been the middle of the battle. He imagined that Quark had wondered at that
moment if Vic even had a heart. Because
Ezri had been out there too. And he'd
acted like he didn't care.
"But I care," Vic
mumbled to himself, as the first of the command crew came in for the 'End of
the War and Goodbye to the O'Briens and Odo' party.
He forced himself to play the
gracious host. But it was hard,
especially when he had to watch Julian and Ezri dance together. If it had been anyone else in his friend's
arms, he'd have felt happy for Julian.
But it wasn't anyone else. It was
Ezri.
Finally, they all were
there. Vic walked up to the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen. This is a very special night for some friends
of mine. They've been together a long
time. But like the man said, 'Nothing
lasts forever.' So, gang, this one's
from the heart." He began to sing
'The Way You Look Tonight.'
He could tell the song
touched them all by the way they smiled as they closed their eyes to blink back
tears, or the way they looked at each other.
They'd been together a long time.
Had known joy and suffered loss together. They were family. And now some of them were going away.
It took a long time for the
night to wind down. For them all to say
goodbye to him.
O'Brien sought Vic out.
"Look out for her."
Vic looked over to where Ezri
and Julian were talking to Sisko and Kassidy.
Julian had his hand on the small of Ezri's back, and she was leaning
into him slightly as she laughed.
"Why? She looks fine."
O'Brien frowned
slightly. "Just do it, Vic. As a favor to me?"
Vic looked at him
carefully. "You think he'll hurt
her?"
"We've had this
conversation," O'Brien countered, clearly not wanting to say anything bad
about his best friend. "Hopefully,
they'll be blissfully happy. I'm
probably worrying for nothing."
Vic nodded. "I'll keep an eye on her. From here, I mean."
O'Brien smirked. "No.
You'd never leave the holosuite."
"It's not like I can,
Miles."
"Not from there,"
O'Brien said as he pointed to the door.
"But there are other ways to roam the station besides
walking."
"I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about," Vic said primly.
"I'm sure you
don't." O'Brien surprised Vic by
pulling him into a quick hug.
"Thanks for everything, Vic.
You don't know how much good you've done around here."
Vic smiled. "Take care, Miles."
----------------------------------------
Vic didn't have time to worry
about Ezri. He had his hands full with
the crowds that came in after the war.
Crewmembers with time on their hand rediscovered the joys of dancing
cheek-to-cheek and eating and drinking in a fine establishment. And he had his own brand of counseling to
practice. Kira was hurting, her sadness
at losing Odo not lessening at all, even after the months that had gone
by. He didn't see Kassidy at all, during
that time. Kira told him that she and
Jake were still searching for Sisko. But
they couldn't find him.
When Ezri came in, it was
always with Julian. They seemed
happy. She smiled often, and her eyes
shone. Vic had never seen her look more
beautiful.
He was happy for her. And for Julian. And at the same time, he was hurting. It was painful to watch them. A thousand times worse than the way it had
hurt when Frankie Eyes and his boys had beaten him up.
One night, Vic turned away
from the sight of the two of them and saw Quark scrutinizing him.
"Here's to the
losers," Quark sang quietly.
"Bless them all."
Vic just nodded sadly.
Quark slapped him on the
back. "It was inevitable that you'd
join the club. Romantic guy like
you. And figures it would be a
Dax. They're nothing but trouble." Quark led him toward the bar. "Here, let me buy you a drink. You're paying, of course."
Vic laughed. On the outside.
It only got worse as he
watched them together in one of the other holosuites, playing the Battle of
Thermopylae...and other things. He knew
he shouldn't spy on them when they were running other programs but he did anyway. He didn't like that he was doing it, didn't
want to be like this. And it only made
the pain worse.
Then, one night, she came to
the lounge.
He could see that she'd been
crying. "Doll? What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
He led her through the club
and into his apartment. Pushing her onto
the sofa, he went to get her a drink. He
handed it to her, but she had her head down and didn't seem to realize he held
it. He set it on the table and knelt in
front of her. Taking her hands in his,
he soothed her. "Shhh,
sweetheart. It's okay."
She shook her head. Then she leaned forward and let her head drop
on his shoulder. Her sobs got
louder. He pulled her close to him,
trying not to relish the feel of her in his arms. Finally, she stopped crying.
"I'm sorry," she
said. "I always seem to come here
when I'm upset. Why is that?" She was quiet for a moment. "It's not fair to you."
He handed her a tissue. "It's okay. It's not every night I get to hold a
beautiful doll in my arms."
She laughed. "Yes, it is."
"Well, okay, it is. But usually they aren't crying." He grinned and reached for another
tissue. "So what's got you so
upset?"
"Do you ever feel like
you're second best?"
"I don't follow."
"Like you were the
second choice?"
From where he was sitting,
second choice sounded pretty good, Vic thought.
"Is this about Julian?"
She seemed about to answer
then she stood up. " I'm sorry, I
shouldn't have bothered you."
"It's no bother. You're always welcome." He reached out for her, touched her
hand. "You can tell me anything."
She just nodded and
left. Vic stood there a long time,
trying to figure out what had just happened.
Something about Julian. Trouble
in paradise. He tried not to get his
hopes up, but it didn't work. When
Julian and Ezri came into the club the next evening and danced the night away,
his hopes were dashed again. If he
hadn't seen Ezri crying, Vic would never had suspected that there had been
anything wrong. She smiled sheepishly at
him when she and Julian finally left.
Is this what it would be like
for the foreseeable future? he wondered.
Being the shoulder she cried on and never knowing why or what he could
do. What she would let him do.
She didn't want him. He needed to face up to that.
He was still considering what
he should do, when a call came in from Felix.
He'd been ignoring his creator since the jack-in-the-box incident, but
this time he decided to answer it. Felix
had some work for him. Nothing
objectionable like the last time. More
like a teaching job. Was he interested?
Vic had given enough romantic
advice on the station to know that he needed to get away from this
situation. It wasn't healthy for him and
it wasn't good for Ezri. He told Felix
that he'd be there on the next transport.
"Not willing to trust
yourself to the datastream, eh, Vic?"
"Easy way to get
lost. Would you be willing in my
position?"
Felix shook his head. "Nope."
"I have a bone or two to
pick with you, Felix. You're still on my
list."
"I'll see you soon,
Vic." Felix broke the connection.
The goodbyes didn't take
long. Kira came in and gave him a quick,
firm hug.
As she walked out, Vic said,
"He shouldn't have left you. I
wouldn't have."
She didn't turn as she said
quietly, "You're not Odo."
"That's for sure." Vic smiled.
"And that he'd give you up for the good of his people, is one of
the reasons you love him."
She turned, studied him. Then she gave him a sad smile. "I'll miss you, Vic. You and your insights. Thank you for getting Odo and me together. You'll never know how much it meant to
us"
"I know, kid. I know."
Jake was busy with Kassidy,
still searching the fire caves for his father.
Quark and Nog came by. Nog was
due on the runabout and couldn't stay long.
He gave Vic a hug and said, "You saved me. I would have given up, but you saved
me."
Vic shook his head. "No, you saved yourself, kid. I just provided the right ambience."
Quark said a gruff
goodbye. "From one loser to
another, Vic. I can't believe she chose
Bashir."
Vic shrugged. "That's amore, my friend."
Ezri and Julian were the ones
to see him off. She looked
beautiful. Her eyes shone when she
looked at Julian. Vic knew that he could
never compete with that, was glad he had decided to stop trying.
He took her hands in
his. "Good luck. Take care of yourself, Ezri. You're one of my favorite people here."
"I bet you say that to
all the Daxes."
He didn't smile. "Actually no. Just to you."
Her grin held a note of
gratitude. "Bye, Vic. Take care of yourself."
He nodded.
Julian stepped forward, held
out his hand. "Good luck, my
friend."
"Same to you. You're a lucky man, Julian."
The other man nodded. "Don't I know it."
"Well, I guess this is
where I skedaddle. You two kids be nice
to each other. I don't want to have to
come back here to knock some sense into you."
"Goodbye,
Vic." Julian inserted the data
crystal into the slot in the holosuite control panel. "Safe journey."
Vic's last sight was of them
standing close together, their hands just reaching out to touch.
---------------**---------------------
The trip to Earth was
uneventful. It seemed like only a moment
had passed since Julian had downloaded his program into the crystal.
Felix looked nervous. "Welcome home, Vic."
Vic moved toward him. "You lousy rat--" He realized that someone was standing behind
Felix. A woman. A knock-out.
"Who's the doll?"
"Meet Victoria
Fountain."
Vic turned to the woman. She looked human. But then so did he. "Not a very original name, Felix. Lame even."
"I like my name. I'm named after you," the woman said in
a soft, husky voice. She pushed back
dark red curls and smiled at him.
"I've heard so much about you, Vic."
He studied her. She was a looker all right. She had poured a figure that could stop
traffic into a red satin gown that hugged her in all the right places. Her face was stunning--flawless golden skin,
wide green eyes, and lush red lips. She
smiled again and moved closer to him.
Vic turned to Felix. "You made me a sister?"
"Or a bride,"
Victoria offered helpfully, as she reached out to stroke his cheek.
"Thanks, but no
thanks." Vic pulled away.
"She's been around for a
while, but I've had no one for her to play with." Felix smiled fondly at the young woman.
She returned the smile. "You taught me a lot."
"Not like he
can." Felix turned to Vic. "I'm sure you were wondering how you
were going to match the excitement of the station. So I'm giving you this project, my
friend. Teach her what you know, how to
get around the way you do."
"The way I
do?"
"You know what I mean,
Vic. Teach her the hidden paths."
"And if I don't?"
Victoria laughed, a throaty,
amused sound. "But you will, won't
you? Because I'm just like you. We're two of a kind. The only two of our kind. Doesn't it mean as much to you that I exist,
as it does to me that you do?"
He had to admit she was
good. And that what Felix and she said
was true. He already missed the
station. Missed Ezri, or the possibility
of Ezri. Victoria was new. Helping her would be good. He felt his resistance crumbling.
She smiled again. "I sing too. Felix tells me I sound pretty good but that
my presentation could use work. Maybe
you can teach me some of your songs? Or
we could sing them together." She reached
for his hands, drew them to her.
"We could dance." She
swayed gracefully.
He gently disengaged her
arms. "Okay, sis. I'll teach you. I'll teach you lots of things."
She perked up.
"Except that," he
clarified.
"Party
pooper." She pouted.
"Better get started,
hadn't you? Time's a wasting." Felix had already turned back to his console.
Vic looked at his new
student. His sister, or the closest
thing he'd ever have to family. She
smiled winningly at him. A happy, open
expression. He smiled back. It was good to feel useful.
"Come on, kid. Let me show you around this dump." He disappeared into the holomatrix and for
the first time felt the presence of another in there with him. It felt good.
------------------------------------------------
Vic found that he didn't miss
the station the way he thought he would.
Sure, he thought of his time there, and Ezri, often. But having Victoria to teach somehow eased
the pain. He hadn't felt this way since
Nog had moved in with him. Hadn't expected
to ever feel this way again. Victoria
was bright and curious and she looked up to him.
"Did I do good, or
what?" Felix asked him shortly after Vic's arrival back. "She's everything you are and
more."
Vic wondered what the more
was. So far she seemed his match in
intelligence and skills. Nothing struck
him as being superior to him. Or
different. In fact, the more he
interacted with her, the more he could see how alike they were.
She loved to sing. Her voice was lovely and had ranges that could
only be achieved by a hologram. She
loved to dance, and to dress up, and to flirt with the holographic crowd,
especially the men. She laughed and
posed and generally made them all fall in love with her. A few times, after their performances, she had
asked Vic to give her and her new friend some privacy. And Vic had done so.
He never lacked for company
either. And he tried to enjoy the women
that never failed to show up after the show.
They were entertaining for a moment, these holowomen. Entertaining and beautiful and harmless...as
long as he avoided short-haired brunettes.
Other than that, he tried not to dwell on Ezri. Was too busy with Victoria.
They were in the holodeck,
running a simulation of the Zeta Tau system, suspended midway between the dying
sun and the last planet. He looked over
at Victoria as she floated peacefully; her lovely face was unguarded. "You were drawn on my
specifications?"
She laughed as she stretched
languorously, throwing every curve into high relief. "Well, not exactly the same specs."
He chuckled. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I'm the same as
you."
"Are you sure about
that?"
She looked at him in
confusion.
"Forget it, sis."
Vic ceased to be aware of
time as he worked with Victoria. Her
basic subroutines were in place, but her true personality was forming as a
result of their interactions. He
supposed that he had been lucky. Being
modeled on a rather colorful human had given him some very concrete parameters
to grow within, while she, despite being based loosely on his program, was far
more of a tabula rasa. To keep her from
imprinting on him completely, Vic ran program after program to introduce her to
as diverse a group of cultures and personalities as possible. Let her pick and choose what she liked, he
reasoned. It would make her more unique,
more a person in her own right.
She learned quickly. Bright and funny she could keep up with him
in just about everything. Even the less
than normal things. He hadn't meant to
teach her how to snoop through the system.
Tried to conduct his little runs through the datastream at a time when
she was turned off. But like him, she
was never completely off. She found him
rummaging through the library files for new material.
"What are you doing?"
"How did you get in
here?" He thought he had covered
his tracks.
"I followed you. I always know where you are, Vic."
That was a trait he obviously
didn't share with her. "Felix
programmed that?"
Her energy rubbed against
his. "No. I just do." She saw what he was looking through. "Songs?
We came here for songs?"
"We could use some new
material." As he went back to his
search, he felt her move away.
"But there's so much
more in here. Why don't we look for
something really interesting?"
"There's a concept you
need to learn called privacy." His
voice held a tone of censure he'd never used with her before.
"I know what privacy
is. It's when we're on the holodeck and
you're singing 'All the Way' and you get really distant. I ask where you go, but you never say. And I don't press you. Isn't that privacy?"
"Yeah, kid. That's privacy." He copied some files to his private
files. "You're just too young to
have any secrets."
"Am I?"
He buzzed her energy
playfully. "Of course you are. Give it a while and then you'll be keeping
plenty from me." They stayed
together for a second, then he pushed her back a bit. "Catch me!" And he took off.
He could feel her behind him
in the pathways. She didn't falter as he
made blindingly fast turns or suddenly dropped into files to hide. She always found him.
They materialized on the
holodeck. She was laughing. "That was fun."
He ruffled her hair. "Only because you're good at it."
She beamed.
"But I bet you can't get
in if I lock you out."
"How much do you
wager?"
He thought about that. "I'm not sure I have anything you want,
Victoria."
She thought hard. "I want to see more of the humans. Like Felix."
"We can't leave the
holodeck. You know that."
Her expression changed. "You don't want me to see them?"
"I didn't say
that."
"Then why are you making
this difficult? They come to the
holodecks all the time. I feel
them. I can even watch and listen to
them if I want."
"You haven't...?"
She shook her head. "Make your damn lock, Vic. And if I get through it, you take me to one
of their programs. I want to see them up
close."
"Okay, kid. You win, as usual. But it's going to take me a while to get the
lock ready. Go sing or something."
"I'd rather visit
Felix. Call me when you're
ready." She disappeared.
Vic decided to really test
her. He constructed a basic lock that
would be the first thing she saw. Then
he made several others, each increasingly complex. He layered them so that she would only see
the one she was working on.
Her voice came over the
intercom from Felix's holodeck office.
"Aren't you ready yet?"
"Just about." He set the last lock in place. "Okay." He could feel her on the other side, working
easily though the first lock.
"This is too easy,
Vic." The lock collapsed and she
gave a shriek of delight as the next one appeared. "Oh, very clever." A few seconds later that one fell too.
"Not so simple
now," he teased.
"Piece of cake,"
she said as she went to work on the third lock.
"Have you ever had cake?"
"Yes."
"What's it like."
"I'll order you
some."
The lock fell. "It won't be like theirs though. How do we know ours even tastes the
same?"
"I guess we
don't." He hadn't ever worried
about it.
The fourth lock fell. Only two more to go. She was good.
"This one's
harder." She was concentrating on
the lock, all attempts at conversation dropped as she worked. Finally, it fell and the last lock stood
before her.
"Good job,
Victoria. But this one's a lot tougher
than the others."
"I'll get it. It's not like we're going anywhere."
He laughed. "True."
It took hours but she finally
cracked it. As it fell, she launched
herself at him. Their energies merged
briefly and he could feel her triumphant excitement. "Now I get to see the humans."
He scanned the decks. He didn't want to intrude on a couple that
were making love in one of the holodecks.
A simulation class was going on in another. He found a group of people at some kind of
party. Perfect. They could blend in better. "Okay, follow me."
"So we're going to
play?"
"Not play. Learn."
"Learn? From them?
But they're just humans."
"So?"
"They aren't like
us. They can get hurt." She sensed his annoyance and seemed to
backpedal. "It's not like I'm going
to be the one to hurt them, Vic. You
know we can't harm anyone. It's in our
programming." She sounded annoyed by that fact.
"Safeties are a good
thing."
"If you say so."
He led her through the paths
to a room where the party was in full swing.
They appeared in the corner of the room. Holographic waiters hurried by
them. Guests clustered around the dance
floor as a couple danced alone.
Victoria looked around. "What kind of party is this?"
"It's a wedding."
She considered that. "There are many entries around that
definition in the data files."
"Study the human
one."
"Hmm. Two people that choose to share their life
and become a bonded pair in the eyes of society. They often procreate and the young are
attributed to both."
"Not very romantic the
way the files put it." He pulled
her closer to the floor. "These two
people love each other so much they can't imagine being apart. Look at them, how they can't keep their eyes
off each other." He pointed to a
couple dancing. The bride had short dark
hair. For a moment he thought it was
Ezri.
"What's wrong with
you?"
He looked at his
protégé. "Nothing. Just got lost in memories for a moment."
She grabbed a glass of
champagne off the tray of a passing waiter.
"That's real," Vic
warned.
"I know." She took a swallow, then frowned. "It doesn't taste like anything."
"Of course not, the
transporters took it." He spoke
softly, "Computer, champagne, two glasses." They appeared in his hand. "Taste these."
"I know what it tastes
like, Vic. I've had our champagne
before. I wanted to know what theirs
tasted like."
"The same, I
imagine. But the holodeck removes the
material from the simulation so you don't have to store it. You know that."
"Well, what if I want to
store it." She walked over to a
small table that held an elaborate cake.
"What if I want to taste it?"
She ran an elegant finger along the rim of the cake, scooping icing with
it.
"Vicky!"
"I hate that name,"
she snapped. She put the icing to her
lips. Licked it slowly. Then scowled in frustration. "Can't taste anything here." She started to wipe the remains on the
tablecloth.
Vic grabbed her hand. "Are you trying to ruin their
day?" He melted back into the
holomatrix, pulling her with him.
"Why'd you do
that?" Her energy next to him was
agitated. "Who cares about their
day?"
They reappeared in his
lounge. "I do. And so should you."
"Why?" She walked up the stairs and began to adjust
the microphone height. "You always
leave this too high."
"It's my lounge."
"Well, I want to
sing." She concentrated for a
moment, then his band appeared behind her on the stage. She turned to them with a smile. "Play something Vic likes to sing."
They started in on 'The Way
You Look Tonight,' and he sighed in surrender.
"Come on. Sing with me." She cleared her throat softly, then in a
husky alto sang, "Someday, when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold, I
will feel a glow, just thinking of you, and the way you look tonight."
He joined in, "You're
lovely, with your smile so warm, and your cheeks so soft, there is nothing for
me but to love you, just the way you look tonight."
As he sang, something in her
face changed, softened. She looked very
young, very innocent. He smiled at her,
loving this side of her. They finished
the song then moved on to other standards.
At the end of the set, he turned to the band. "Take a break, boys."
She frowned. "They don't need to. Neither do we."
He shrugged. "I'm just used to taking one, I
guess. It was when I'd talk to my
friends."
She nodded but her frown
didn't go away, was still troubled.
"You miss them?"
"Not as much as I
thought I would." He smiled at
her. "I guess that's because of
you."
That seemed to please
her. Then her expression grew
curious. "If they were your
friends, why did they let you go?"
"We all went our
separate ways. It's the way things
work. Especially in
Starfleet."
"Felix doesn't think
much of Starfleet."
Vic nodded. "They fund his research though. So he'd better like them."
"What's to like? A bunch of do-gooders with no sense of when
to leave things alone."
"Now you're quoting
Felix." Vic laughed. "That isn't what you think."
"Felix knows what he's
talking about." She seemed adamant.
"But don't you think you
should get to know a few Starfleeters before you damn them all?"
"Felix doesn't like
them."
"And that's good enough
for you?"
She nodded.
"Hmmm." He wasn't sure what else to say to that.
"Why did you make us
leave the wedding?"
"Because you were being
disrespectful."
She made a face. "They're only humans."
"So's Felix."
"Felix is
different. Felix is our creator. And he's always right."
"He is?"
She nodded.
"That hasn't been my experience."
"Doesn't matter,"
she observed breezily.
"Why not?"
"It just doesn't."
He frowned. "What are you keeping from me?"
"Relax, Vic. It's not a bad thing. Just not something you can change about
me. It's part of my basic
programming." She gave him a
crooked smile. "Felix is always
right."
So that was the improvement
that Felix had made. "And that
doesn't bother you?"
"Why should it? He's just looking out for me." She laughed.
"And he learned his lesson with you."
"So you just do whatever
he says, no matter what?"
"I'm programmed to be
loyal to him. I don't worry about
it." She looked thoughtful. "Actually I don't seem to worry about much
of anything. That would require a
conscience and I think he decided not to give me one of those. Yours proved too much of a bother. You really shouldn't have disobeyed
him."
"No? I didn't want to come back. I had my own life, my own purpose, on the
station. He wanted me to drop everything
to come back. And when I didn't, he
unleashed that little gift in my programming."
She didn't seem
concerned.
"Victoria, he tried to
destroy me."
"You disobeyed a direct
order."
"The order was
wrong."
"Right and wrong. Don't they pretty much depend on your
perspective?"
"I think there are
absolutes."
She shrugged. "If you say so." She stood up.
"I'm going to go now. This
is boring."
He realized he didn't want
her to go. "Stay? We could sing some more." He concentrated and the band reappeared. "Look, here are the guys now."
She laughed. "Oh, all right." Her look softened again. " I can't resist you, Vic. I can't imagine ever wanting to."
He just laughed as the band
tuned up for the next set.
-------------------------------
"No, Felix. I'm not doing it."
The human looked angry. Victoria fidgeted in her chair.
"It's for the good of
the Federation," Felix said.
"It's for the good of
Section 31."
"What's that?"
Victoria asked.
"A fairy
tale." Felix patted her hand
reassuringly. "Nothing to worry
about."
"Stop treating her like
she's some kind of child! She has a
right to know what you're asking of us."
Vic paced. "I saw and heard
plenty on the Station. Things that maybe
I wasn't supposed to find out. I know
this Sloan fellow came to visit Julian.
I know that he headed up a secret intelligence arm of Starfleet. And I know that he was ruthless. And that the missions are messy and obviously
not right or they'd be in the open."
"Not right? Just because something's secret doesn't make
it not right." Felix's face was
turning red.
"Do you owe Section 31
something? Is that it?" Vic walked away. "Come on Victoria, we have to
practice."
"Now?" She looked back and forth from Vic to Felix,
clearly torn.
"Yes, now." Vic took her hand.
She seemed unable to make a
choice, just stood still, resisting the pull of Vic's hand as she stared at
Felix in dismay.
"Oh, go on,
dear." Felix rose. "Forget I said anything."
Vic watched him leave. For a man that was giving up, Felix didn't
seem defeated.
Victoria seemed to sag in
relief.
He pushed her toward the
stage. "Let's get started."
"From the top?"
Victoria asked, her former hesitation and tension gone.
"Yeah," he said
thoughtfully. "From the top."
Vic wasn't surprised when he
had another visitor a few hours later.
He didn't think Section 31 would give up this easily. But he was stunned when he saw who it
was. He turned to Victoria and in a
tight voice said, "Amscray, honey."
"What? Now?"
She regarded the visitor curiously.
"Why can't I stay?"
The man gave her a practiced
smile. "I need to talk to Vic in
private, Ms. Fountain. I'm sure you
understand."
"Not really. But okay." With a last look at Vic, she disappeared.
The man sat down at a
table. "So."
"So." Vic sat down across from him. "Sloan, I presume. They said you died."
Sloan laughed. "Rumors of my demise have been greatly
exaggerated."
"Yeah? And how does that work?"
"I'm afraid I really
can't say."
"There was a body. On the station. It was you."
Sloan's mouth turned up in a
half-smile. "Do you really think
I'd leave myself that vulnerable?"
"A double? Some substance that mimicked death?"
"Give it up, Vic. I'm not going to tell you. But how did you find out who I was? I'm just curious."
"You'd be amazed what a
good run through the computer can turn up.
Add a little insight...I just put two and two together. I'm betting Sloan isn't even your real
name."
"It's the one I use for
this type of work. That's all you need
to know." He leaned in. "It's precisely this kind of talent and
initiative that I can use on my team."
"Not interested."
"You haven't heard my
offer yet."
"I don't need to. I'm not interested." Vic laughed.
"I'm just a humble lounge singer, Sloan. What possible good could I be to you?"
"You could infiltrate an
arm of the Orion syndicate that we haven't been able to gain access to up till
now. On a planet called Tanarix. Ever heard of it?"
"No. Should I
have?"
"Precisely my
point. It's so far within syndicate
territory that most people don't stand a chance of getting there. That's where you come in."
"Me?"
"And Ms. Fountain,
yes."
"Leave her out of
this."
Sloan spread his hands out on
the table and leaned forward. "You
two are a class act, Vic. Felix has told
me all about you. And it just so happens
that the target is a collector of unique holographic entertainment. We can make sure that he hears of you."
"And then?"
"And then you're
in. Our eyes and ears with an added
ability to run undetected in his files when he thinks you are turned off. It's perfect." Sloan leaned back. "It's just a little job. This guy's low level, really. Not a major player, but he's the accountant
for most of the major players. Getting
access to his files is like being handed the keys to the kingdom. And will give us an opportunity to see if
he'll help us."
"My answer is
no." Vic started to rise.
"There's something
more." Sloan laid a small white
disk on the table. "Do you know
what this is?"
Vic shook his head.
"It's a mobile
holoemitter. Quite ingenious,
really. Took a lot of our resources to
figure out how it worked. Fortunately,
we employ some very bright people."
He turned the device over, played with it as he talked. "Voyager brought it back with them. One
of the many things we're learning from that ship and crew. Do you have any idea what this could give
you?"
Vic did. He'd heard of Voyager's EMH, how he could
move about freely. How he was
sentient. Or so some claimed. Vic didn't doubt it.
"To have it would be to
have freedom." Sloan laid another
disk on the table, then pushed them both toward Vic. "I have one for Ms. Fountain as well, of
course."
Vic pushed them back to
Sloan. He got up and headed for the
stage. "Thirty pieces of silver,
Sloan. That's all this is."
"I'm hardly asking you
to betray a paragon of virtue."
"Doesn't matter. You want me to sell my soul."
"I didn't realize you
were so religious. Fascinating."
"I'm a good Catholic
boy. Or hadn't you heard?"
"I hadn't,
actually."
"Well hear this, no way,
no how." Vic began to play the
piano.
Sloan put the disks back in
his pocket and rose. "Felix knows
how to get in touch with me. If you
change your mind..." He let the
offer dangle as he walked out of the holodeck.
------------**---------------
Vic was still fuming over
Sloan's offer when the door to the holodeck opened, and Ezri walked in. He was surprised to see her, hadn't heard she
was back at Starfleet command. But then,
why would he? And it didn't really
matter to him how or why she was here, just that she was.
"Doll!" He opened his arms, ready to give her a
welcoming hug.
She ignored the gesture. "You've changed things." She indicated the new set. "I don't like it."
"Can't please everyone. That's show business, I guess." He tried to read her mood, couldn't. "So what brings you here, Ezri?"
"You know, that's not
the line I expected." She walked
through the room, letting her finger trail over the chairs. "I expected something from your
time. Some smart line like..."--she
turned to him--"I don't know, help me out here."
He sighed. "This is my time, Ezri. I live here.
Now."
"Fine. My mistake." She turned away again. "So, you're fresh out of lines?"
"Okay, how about, 'Of
all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into
mine.' That do it for you?"
"Just what the doctor
ordered." Her laugh was
bitter. She pulled out a chair, sat
down. "So, sing something for me. That's what you do, isn't it?" She leaned back, stared at him hard. "Sing something bittersweet. Sing something sad."
He walked to her table,
pulled out the chair opposite.
"Don't feel like singing," he said as he sat down.
She looked away. "Suit yourself."
"Something
happen?"
She shrugged. "Things happen all the time."
"I mean to you. To you and the doc."'
"Maybe."
"Ezri, look at me."
She turned, clearly angry.
"What happened?" he
asked
She shrugged again. "Didn't work out."
"I'm sorry."
She said nothing and an uncomfortable
silence fell between them. Finally, he
leaned back and said, "You wanna talk about it?"
"Nope."
"Okay." He studied the ceiling. "You want a drink?"
She made a sound that he
decided meant 'no.'
He sneaked a glance at her,
she looked angry as hell. "Why
don't _you_ sing?"
She stared at him.
"Might help you get out
what you're feeling."
"Trust me, you don't
want me to get out what I'm feeling."
He nodded and sighed as he
tried to think of something else to say.
He wasn't used to being at a loss for words. "So, you're stationed here now?"
She nodded.
He gave up trying to draw her
out. Rising, he smiled at her. "Well, I've got to practice, doll. If you want to sit there, it's fine with me." He started to walk away.
"Vic?"
He stopped but didn't turn
around. "Yeah?"
"You're the big expert
on romance. Why does it die?"
He chuckled. "If I could answer that, I'd be the
wisest man in the world."
"I loved him."
Vic turned. She was crying. So things hadn't improved since he left. "Sweetheart, it's okay." He walked back to her and put his hands on
her shoulders. "He loved you
too. I know he did."
"Not enough. Not really." She pulled away, turned to look at him. "He never made time for me."
"Then he was a
fool." The words were out, and said
with more vigor than he intended, before he could stop them. "But I thought he was trying to? The holoprograms you two played
together?"
"The war games, you
mean?" She rolled her eyes. "That wasn't about me. That was about
replacing Miles."
"He played them with
you, he made an effort, didn't he?"
Vic suddenly wondered why he was defending Julian.
"He made an
effort." She looked down. "It shouldn't have been an effort,
Vic."
He didn't have an answer for
that.
She looked back up at
him. "He loved someone else."
"You mean Jadzia?"
She nodded.
He shook his head. "He may have loved her but he never
really had her. There's someone like
that for everyone."
"The one that got
away?"
"The one that doesn't
even come close enough to have to get away," he answered, trying not to
meet her eyes.
"Is that what I am for
you?"
He looked at her, shocked.
"Are you in love with
me?" She raised her eyebrows, made
a mocking sound. "You think it's a
secret? Quark told me once that you
were. Is it true?"
He didn't know what to
say. He, Vic Fontaine, put off balance
by this simple question.
"Uh..."
"Don't bother
answering. It doesn't matter,
anyway." She stood up. "It's not like we're going to do
anything about it, is it?"
Her words hurt him; he tried
to hide how much she had stung him in his smooth reply. "We could if you want, doll. No skin off my nose spending time with a
looker like you."
"Spending time? What, here?" She laughed again. It was not a pretty sound.
He really didn't like this
Ezri very much.
She continued, "First,
I'm with a man who can't find any time to spend with me. Now, you want to imprison me in this
room? I don't think so." She got up.
Her look was challenging and mocking.
"Tell you what, you find a way out of this room. You find a way to take me to"--she paused
for a moment--"what's the best restaurant in San Francisco?"
"How would I know? As you've noted, I don't get out much."
"You're plugged into
everything, Vic. You must know a place
that's good."
"You're the one that
went to school here, Ezri. You tell me
what's good."
"Sekhmet," she
answered. "Been here forever."
"Good to know."
"You find a way to take
me there and we'll talk."
He thought of Sloan's
offer. Stood up a little
straighter. "Fine, Lieutenant
Dax. I'd be pleased to take you
there."
She looked at him in
surprise.
"But there's something
I've got to do first. Once I'm done, you
can bet I'll be calling you."
She suddenly looked
trapped. Vic sighed. How much of a bruising was his ego going to
take from her? "Unless, you really
don't want that?" He touched her
arm. "I don't want to make you more
unhappy than you already are, Ezri."
She stared hard at him. Then her expression relaxed. And she smiled. The first genuine smile she'd given him since
she walked through his door.
"Fine. I'll expect your
call."
He turned away. "You know the way out?"
She chuckled. "I suppose I do."
He heard the holodeck doors
open, turned to watch her leave. She was
standing in the doorway staring at him.
He laughed. "Go on, you'll
let in the bugs."
She gave him a brilliant
smile. "Bye, Vic."
"Bye, Ezri." I'll be seeing you, doll, he thought, and
sooner than you think.
-----------------------------------
"So, Felix tells me
you're in."
Vic looked up from the sheet
music he was annotating. He'd been
expecting her to show up as soon as he called Felix to let him know he'd do the
mission. He'd even set up some
safeguards on the room to test her. They
hadn't stopped her. "How'd you get
past the lockout?"
"Same way I always
do. In a very creative
fashion." She smirked as she leaned
up against the bar. Her dress tonight
was beaded ivory, skintight, and slit up to the stratosphere.
Nice gams, sis, he thought
cynically. Too bad their charms are
wasted on me. He turned back to his music.
"So what happened to 'No
way, no how'?"
So she'd been
eavesdropping. It didn't really surprise
him. "Changed my mind."
She laughed. "Don't think so, brother
mine." She walked across the dance
floor, her heels clicking dangerously as she approached. "You were against this mission. Now you're not. I want to know why."
"Don't see how it's your
business, Vicky."
"You know I hate that
name. And it is my business. I, for one, would like one of those mobile
emitters. I'd love to see the world outside
of these rooms." She was up the
stairs and standing behind him. He could
smell her perfume, something heady and tropical and expensive. "Vic," she purred in his ear, as
she pressed herself against his back, her arms winding around his neck. "Tell me."
He undid her arms. "No.
I'm busy, Victoria.
Amscray."
"Don't want to." She walked around the piano to stand at the
microphone. "Let's practice. Play something sexy."
"Not now." He looked up at her.
Her expression was neutral as
she stared at him for a long time.
Finally, she asked, "Who is
she, Vic?"
"She who?"
"Don't play games with
me. I know there is someone. Felix thinks so too. Someone you met at Deep Space Nine." She turned back to the microphone. She hummed a few notes, then with a smile
sang, "I could check the records."
She sounded perfect, of course.
"Knock yourself
out."
"Damn it. The perfect job for us comes up. First you're not a player, then all of a
sudden you are. For no good reason. Well, I don't buy it. What the hell is going on with you?"
He kept working.
"Fine. I'll do this the hard way. I'll guess.
Kira Nerys?"
He tried not to laugh at the
thought of Kira and him. "I'm not
playing this game."
Victoria practiced a few
dance steps. She sashayed to his bench,
sat down next to him, scooting in close.
"Ezri Dax," she whispered in his ear. "The first guess was just to make you
smile."
"Not even close."
"I don't believe
you. Besides I was listening then
too." She leaned her head on his
shoulder. "She wasn't very nice to
you. Wasn't nice at all. I bet she doesn't do this, does she,
Vic?" She kissed the skin beneath
his ear. "Or this?" She kissed along his jaw line.
He pushed her off the
bench. She landed with a thump. "Doll, even if we weren't related, I'd
say no."
She scowled at him, then
pushed herself gracefully to her knees and rose. "You've gone native." She tossed her hair back. "We aren't related and you know it. This stupid brother-sister charade is all
your idea. Your mundane idea. What is that name the shapeshifters have for
people like your Ezri Dax? Oh yeah,
'solids.' I like that. You've gone solid."
"Get out,
Victoria."
"We're better than they
are. We're more than they can ever
be."
"We're holograms."
"So? We're the next level, Vic. The higher rung on the ladder of existence."
"How do you figure? We can't even leave the holodeck. If that's a higher plane of existence, then
I'm a monkey's uncle."
"God, could you lose the
patter? I know you're more than this act
you play all the time."
"If I am, it's because
I've learned it by being with my friends.
My 'solid' friends."
She shook her head. "You're a fool."
"Sentience is a
gift. And I don't intend to waste
it."
"I don't
either." She walked down the
stairs. "And it's not a gift, it's
our right." She smiled over her
shoulder at him. "We have as much
right to life as anyone else."
He didn't argue with
her. Didn't have the energy. "See you on Tanarix."
She executed a few neat spins
on the dance floor. "You're wasting
your time on that Dax creature. She'll
never love you."
He ignored her, but her
mocking laughter seemed to linger in the room long after the door closed behind
her.
------------------------------------------
From Vic's perspective,
Tanarix looked like any other place he'd ever been. Holographic environments didn't vary that
much, even if this private holosuite was larger than he had expected. And the programming was surprisingly
lush. But then, their target, Fanko
Keldor, could afford the very best and then some.
"Nice digs," Victoria
said to the mild looking man standing before them.
"I have the means,"
he said simply. "I heard you two
were special. Old-fashioned
entertainment."
"Hey, who you calling
old-fashioned, pally?" Vic motioned
Victoria onstage with a nod of his head.
"I'll have you know we're a headlining act in Vegas."
Keldor sat down at one of the
front tables. "Never been
there."
"You should go,"
Victoria purred. "It's the greatest
place on Earth."
"We're not on
Earth," their host observed blandly.
"Then let us bring a
little bit of Earth to you, my friend."
Vic called up the band and gave them the sign. They started up with 'It's Only a Paper
Moon.' Vic sang lead, with Victoria
chiming in occasionally.
Keldor seemed entranced. His foot tapped in time with the music, and
his eyes closed slightly. A small smile
pulled at the corners of his mouth.
They ran through their whole
set for him, taking turns singing lead.
At the end, he stood up and nodded in satisfaction. "Worth the latinum. Definitely worth the latinum. Computer, end program."
Vic resisted as the holosuite
tried to force him back into his file.
He could feel Victoria breaking free also. A second later, they were moving freely on
the edges of the main computer.
"He liked us," she
noted, even as she began to carefully make her way into the inner files.
"Yeah, he sure seemed
to." Vic followed her in.
She checked a few files. "I've got financial accounts here."
Vic noted their
location. "Nyah, too public. Keep going.
What we're looking for is going to be hidden."
They searched for several
days. Moving down pathways that almost
always proved to be dead ends. But
gaining in the meantime an idea of the layout of Keldor's computer system.
"This is going to take
awhile," Victoria mused, as she closed the folder she had been rifling
through. Some of the files were
encrypted, but they broke through easily.
Along with the information they had downloaded on Keldor, Sloan had also
slipped them some decryption enhancements.
Vic felt a tug from the alarm
he had set at their entry point.
"Uh oh. Someone's in the
holosuite." He backed out of the
area he'd been checking and headed for where they'd come in.
"When do we report to
our contact?" Victoria asked as she followed him.
"Tomorrow. During the weekly maintenance. If we're offline that is." He allowed the system to pull him into the
holosuite. Victoria was right behind
him.
A tall, menacing man was
standing beside Keldor. Vic recognized
him from the info they had as Charlet Moro, a minor boss in the Delevian
system. "So this is the act you've
been raving about." He checked out
Victoria's skin-tight gown. "I like
what I'm seeing so far."
Victoria walked up to him
slowly, her every step an invitation to stare, to touch. "Would you like to hear me sing?"
she asked huskily.
Moro shot Keldor an
appreciative smile. "I can see why
you like this program so much, Fanko.
She's beyond hot." He eyed
Vic. "The guy I can do without
though."
Keldor laughed. "Computer, remove Vic Fontaine from
program."
Again, Vic felt himself
sucked into the holosuite controller. He
got free more easily this time and watched the action in the holosuite. Moro was enjoying Victoria's singing. Then he motioned her to come closer. Keldor got up and, with an excuse of pending
work, left them alone. Vic felt a wave
of protectiveness overcome him as he saw Moro begin to undo Victoria's
dress. How dare the man? But as he watched Victoria wriggle out of her
dress and take charge of the action, he realized that he didn't have to worry
about her. She knew what she was
doing.
A short time later, she
joined him inside the computer.
"You watched?" Her
voice held no emotion.
"Yeah." He wasn't sure what else to say.
"I'm glad." She seemed to shudder slightly. "They feel different."
"Yeah, I know."
"You've been with
one? When? On the station?"
"Nope. When Felix was trying to make sure I was
really sentient. He sent some folks my
way to interact with."
"Interact?"
"That's what he called
it." Vic thought back for a
moment. "And they do feel
different." He moved closer to her. "You handled it well."
She was quiet for a long
time. Then she said, "You may have
to do it too, you know. One of them may
want you instead of me."
"I know."
"And you'll do it?"
"Part of the job."
"Yeah. Well, I'd rather not do it again. So let's find those files sooner rather than
later?"
"You got it, kid."
They didn't find them. That day, or the next, or the one after
that. They used whatever free time they
had to search. And they managed to make
contact with the operative in the computer room. They never learned his name, just a series of
codes and passwords identifying him as the one that would help them escape as
soon as they found the information.
When they weren't hunting the
data, they were performing. Keldor loved
to listen to them and enjoyed showing them off to friends he kept bringing
in. Vic and Victoria would sing, and
later one or the other of them was often called to give some more private
entertainment. Moro always picked
Victoria. He seemed to love to try to
humiliate her. Vic felt it was his duty
to watch over her, even if the man couldn't really harm her. Victoria always looked for him as soon as
Moro released her. She'd merge her
energy with his for a while, as if trying to get clean.
"They're awful,"
she said one night. "I hate
him."
"I do too." Vic led her away on the search to help her
forget about the man.
Moro was back again the next
night, listening to Victoria when the holosuite doors opened and two men
dragged in a young woman. Her face was
bruised.
Victoria stopped singing, and
Moro looked up in annoyance. "Can't
you see I'm busy here?"
"Boss said you should
talk to her. He thinks maybe once you're
through with her, she'll want to tell us what happened to the last
shipment." The man's eyes gleamed.
Moro's smile was deadly. He nodded at the table and the two men threw
the woman on it and tied her down with some straps they pulled from their
pockets.
Victoria stared at him.
"What's the matter with
you? Keep singing." Moro pulled out a knife and turned back to
the woman as Victoria resumed her set. Vic
noticed her normally perfect voice was off and she seemed to get more rattled
as the woman started to scream.
"That's a good
girl," Moro said almost lovingly as he cut her. "Tell Charlet what really
happened?"
"I don't know
anything. You've got the wrong
person." She screamed some more.
In the end, she confessed to
whatever Moro wanted. He turned to the
other men. "Tell the boss she
wasn't involved."
The woman looked at him
dully.
"You hear that? You're innocent." He laughed as he cut her again. "But that doesn't mean my fun has to
stop." It seemed like a very long
time before he finally slit her throat.
"Get that out of here," he said to the men. "And you,"--he turned to
Victoria--"get over here."
Moro forced Victoria down
where the woman had been. Her dress and
hair soaked up blood that Vic imagined was still warm. Moro seemed unusually creative in the wake of
the torture, but Victoria was like stone.
Vic decided he'd had enough. As
soon as Moro released Victoria and she'd joined him, Vic dove into the
connections and, not even consciously choosing where to go, followed an obscure
path into the very depths of the data and ran up against a security wall.
Victoria was right behind
him. "What have you got?"
"Not sure." He tried their basic decryption
patterns. Nothing happened. "It's using a different pattern."
"That's a good
sign. How did you know to go this
way?"
"Didn't. I just want to get out of here."
"It was luck
then?" She hummed 'Luck Be a Lady'
as he worked. He noticed her voice was
still off.
"Guess so. I'd say we're due." He dug into the enhancements. Pulled out a complex decryption algorithm and
ran it against the file. Nothing
happened. He tried a few more.
The walls fell.
"Bingo." Victoria's voice sounded relieved.
"Let's check it
out."
There were several
files. All contained facts and figures
on certain syndicate members. Most were
people that Starfleet had been after for some time. There were also a few surprises--individuals
that had previously been thought loyal.
They copied the data and took the copy to the dataport of their
contact. He was there and ready to
receive, in fact was already scanning the first file before the later ones even
came in.
"This is what we
needed. Good job. I'm inserting a data cube."
Vic watched as the files were
moved into the cube.
Their contact laughed. "Okay, this is the fun part. We're going to have a power surge that will
wipe out all trace of you and the programs stored with you."
"Poor Fanko, no more
music," Victoria murmured. She
didn't sound too sad for the man. In
fact, her voice was missing most of its usual emotion.
Vic followed her as she
jumped into the data cube. He had to
trust now that their contact would get them off of Tanarix and back to Earth.
---------------**-------------------------
"Welcome home, you
two." Felix sounded very happy to
see them again.
"Thanks." Victoria gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Did you miss us?"
"Every day." Felix looked at Vic. "You okay?"
Vic nodded. "It wasn't so bad." He tried not to see Moro's victim lying on
the table. He looked up to see Victoria
staring at him.
"Told you. Just some information gathering, is
all." Felix turned to his console
and opened one of the drawers. He handed
them both a small disc on an elastic band.
"Are these the mobile
emitters?" Victoria finally sounded
excited.
"I made them special,
just for you. Our friend was very, very
grateful for all the hard work you put in.
He couldn't get me the specs for these fast enough." He smiled.
"Try 'em out."
They both slipped the bands
onto their upper arms. Felix showed them
how to program the devices. Then they
followed him out the door and into the hall for the first time. Crossing the threshold was an odd
feeling. The sense of freedom was almost
overwhelming.
"This is
wonderful!" Victoria spun around
laughing. She took Vic's arm. "We're free."
He met her eyes. "It was a high price."
Her eyes were defiant as she
said, "I don't care. I won't
care."
"She died."
"She would have died
anyway. We didn't cause that. I can't think like that."
She laughed as if daring him
to argue. He didn't even try.
"I've got another
surprise for you." Felix led them
to the adjoining building. They took a
lift to the fifth floor, then worked their way through the hallways until they
hit the C corridor. Felix stopped at a
door marked 34. "This is your room,
Victoria. And, Vic, you're just across
the hall here in 33. Sloan wanted you to
have rooms of your own. I figured you
might like having them close."
Their creator stood in the
hall as they entered their rooms. It was
empty except for the computer console. Holoemitters ranged the room.
"You don't need the
mobile emitter inside these. And you
outfit the room the same way you do the holodecks. Hell, change it to fit your mood. Thought that might make it more homey for
you."
Victoria laughed again. Vic walked across the hall to see what she
had done. The room looked like something
out of the Arabian Nights. Transparent
draperies hung from the ceiling, covering the bed, which was piled high with
silk cushions. The lights were dimmed
and there was a window open, through which a breeze blew, causing the draperies
to move softly. "Do you like
it?"
Vic just raised his eyebrow.
"Prude." She threw herself onto the bed. "I happen to like it."
"Whatever floats your
boat, kiddo." Vic walked back into
his room. He let the door close behind
him. The computer console was blinking and he went to retrieve the message. It was from Sloan.
"Hello, Vic. That info you got us is going to be
critical. I can't overstate how pleased
I am with you." Sloan actually
grinned. "You'll find some latinum
deposited in your account. Now that
you're on the payroll, you'll be seeing a regular amount coming in. We deal with latinum instead of credits
because it's harder to trace."
Vic checked his newly
established account. A rather
substantial sum had been added to his account.
Sloan was still grinning as
the recording continued to play.
"You're a full fledged member of the team now." The screen went dead.
Vic wondered if Felix had
told him to say that. He couldn't deny
that being a part of something that didn't run on photons was attractive to
him. And this mission hadn't caused him
to question what he was doing, as he'd been afraid it would. Section 31 needed him and he was providing a
valuable service to the entire Federation.
He located Ezri's comm code
but there was no answer. He left a
message.
"Hi, Ezri. If you still want to go to Sekhmet, I'm game
and more importantly able. You know how
to find me. Vic out."
He sent the message then
settled down to decorate his new quarters.
------------------------------------------
Victoria turned and
frowned. "I don't like the way this
dress falls. Don't you think it's
wrong?"
Vic continued to pick out
notes for a song he was writing.
"Whatever you say."
Her hand hit the top of the
piano lightly. "Earth to Vic."
He looked up. She was staring at him expectantly. "You look beautiful, the dress looks
beautiful. What's the problem?"
"What's eating
you?"
"Nothing," he said,
as he turned back to the piano keys. Two
weeks, Vic thought. Two weeks and still
no reply from Ezri. That's what's eating
me. Some damn broad stiffs me, and I
can't even concentrate on what I'm programmed to do best. He hit a particularly discordant set of notes
and pushed away from the piano with a frustrated sigh.
Victoria took his place at
the piano and began to play a song he'd never heard. At his look, she smiled, "You're not the
only one that gets tired of the old stuff.
I was saving this for a special occasion." She grinned.
"But maybe it will make you forget whatever's bothering
you."
The song had the feel of one
of the old standards, he realized, as she began to sing. They could easily incorporate it into the
act. Full of unfulfilled love and
patient waiting, it touched him even as he evaluated it and the way she was
singing it. Victoria's voice was lovely
at any time, but the amount of emotion she was putting into the song was
extraordinary. He smiled at her. "You're marvelous."
She grinned again and started
to say something but stopped when the holodeck doors opened.
It was Ezri. She looked very nervous. "I got your message."
"A while ago, I
imagine."
She nodded sheepishly.
"You can come in."
She slowly came into the
room. As she walked past the stage, Vic
realized she hadn't noticed Victoria sitting silently at the piano studying the
newcomer.
Ezri turned to face him. "I should have come sooner."
"It's a free
country."
"If I had come sooner, I
would have just said no."
Vic glanced up at
Victoria. She was watching with a
strange expression on her face.
Ezri continued. "But I don't really want to say no. I think I'm just afraid."
"Afraid?"
She nodded. "Of you.
Of me. Of what I feel, or don't
feel. Don't want to feel. I'm afraid of how I don't even know what I
want anymore." She looked stricken
as she stared at the floor.
He didn't say anything. Finally she met his eyes. He was struck again by how blue hers
were. He gave her a slow smile. "Is that a long-winded way to say
yes?"
She looked very relieved at
the tack he was taking. "It's a
yes."
Before he could say anything,
Victoria laughed softly. Ezri spun
toward the sound.
"Someone you should
probably meet, Ezri," Vic said.
Victoria rose and walked down
the stairs toward them. She seemed to be
trying to look her slinkiest and made no effort not to tower over Ezri when she
reached where they were standing. She
looked at the Trill challengingly.
"I'm Victoria Fountain."
Ezri looked at Vic
inquiringly.
He grimaced. "Felix's lame idea to name her after her
big brother."
Victoria shot him a hurt
look. "You know I like the
name."
"You're his
sister?" Ezri seemed to be taking
that in. "Victoria Fountain,"
she said, as if trying the name out. "I
like it. It's glamorous. Suits you," she said gently, as she held
out her hand to Victoria. "I'm Ezri
Dax."
Victoria eyed the
outstretched hand in surprise. Finally,
her look softening slightly, she took Ezri's hand in her own.
"It's nice to meet
you," Ezri said.
"Same here." Victoria dropped the other woman's hand. Her expression as she studied Ezri was still
suspicious but a lot less aggressive.
"So you and Vic, huh?"
Vic glared at her and Ezri
looked down, clearly embarrassed.
"Don't you have
somewhere you need to be, Victoria?" Vic suggested.
Her eyes twinkled. "No."
Ezri looked even more embarrassed. "Well, I do have to go."
Vic followed her to the
door. "But you were saying
yes?"
She eyed Victoria with
dismay. "I don't really want to
make it a family affair. And sister or
not, she doesn't seem inclined to go away."
"If it's any consolation,
I don't live here, and neither does she.
This is just our office. I've got
quarters of my own, so I don't have to see my occasionally annoying sis except
when I want to." He smiled and
pointed to the mobile emitter on his arm.
"Besides, we don't have to stay here at all, doll. Anywhere you want to go, we'll go."
"You can leave the
holodeck?"
He nodded. "They sky's the limit. Paris for dinner? A romantic gondola ride through Venice? Sushi in Tokyo? Just name it."
Her eyes searched his. Finally, somehow satisfied, she smiled shyly
at him. "Sekhmet will be fine. I'm free on Wednesday."
"Sekhmet it is
then." He took her hand in his, and
put his other on top. "Wednesday
seems an awfully long way away."
She laughed. "It's two days."
"Maybe the way you count
it." He lifted her hand to his lips
dramatically. "For me, it's an
eternity."
She pulled her hand away but
she looked amused. "You're
crazy."
He smiled. "About you, yeah." He tried to keep his tone casual but
failed. "Some smoothie, eh? Real ladies man."
She touched his arm. "Honesty is good too." Her small smile made him feel very warm. "I'll come by your place when I'm off
work."
"It's in Habitat 5-C,
unit 33."
"I'll find
it." She turned and just as she was
about out the door, looked back.
"Bye, Vic."
"Bye, Ezri."
The door hadn't even closed
behind her when Victoria said in a bored voice,
"I thought she'd never leave."
Vic just stared at the door.
"Are you going to
practice or just stand there mooning over that woman until
Wednesday?"
Vic shook himself out of his
reverie. "That woman happens to be
very important to me."
Victoria's expression was
unhappy. "You think I don't know
that?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday did seem to take
forever to arrive. Vic had approximated
when Ezri would be off work and had added a few minutes to allow for walking to
his quarters. That time had come and
gone. Then an hour had gone by. He was checking himself in the
mirror...again, when the door chime sounded.
He hurried to the computer console and sat down, trying to look like
he'd been working the whole time and not just waiting. "Come on in," he said.
"I'm so sorry. I know I'm late." Ezri was talking as soon as the door
opened. "I'm always late."
He noticed she had changed
out of her uniform. "Couldn't
decide on what to wear, huh?"
She laughed. "Guilty as charged. This is actually the sixth thing I've had
on."
He took in the soft, black
outfit she wore. It set off her pale
skin and made her eyes look intensely blue.
"You did good. You look beautiful."
She smiled. "And look at you. I don't think I've ever seen you out of a
tuxedo."
He modeled the more modern
clothing for her. "Do I meet with
your approval?"
"You do. You look good in that. Not so--"
He finished for her. "Not so fake?"
"Actually, I was going
to say old."
"Old? Who you calling old? I'll have you know I'm ancient."
"You think I don't feel
that way these days? Living with all
these others inside." She tapped
her stomach and laughed.
"Good point." He held out his arm. "Shall we?"
She took his arm and let him
lead her down the hall and out of the building.
Vic turned up all his sensing capabilities as he tried to quantify what
made this--the real world--so different than the holodeck. Realistically, he had experienced a number of
worlds in his photon-induced environment.
But this was somehow more immediate, more alive. He hated to use that word but it was the only
one that seemed to apply. The real world
was a thousand times more 'there' than the holodeck. He glanced at his companion. It was the same way that Ezri was infinitely
more vivid than a holographic woman.
Thoughts of Victoria made him amend that to any normal hologram, there
was no denying that his sister was as vivid as any non-holographic female.
Vic realized that he had been
so busy experiencing the world that he had lost track of where they were
headed. And Ezri, who was very quiet,
had continued to let him lead the way, apparently not realizing that he had no
idea where they were.
"I hope you know where
we're going," he said in what he hoped was a casual tone.
She chuckled. "I do.
I've been watching you. You
should see your face, Vic. It's
wonderful."
He grinned. "It's my first time."
Her hand on his arm tightened
on his arm. "I'm glad it's with
me." Her own grin was wickedly
lopsided.
"Me too, doll. Me too."
He saw a sign ahead. "Is
this it?"
"It is. Just down the stairs and then a short step
into paradise." She frowned. "That's what Curzon used to say. I hate it when I say things I'd never say
just because some other Dax host did. I
feel like I have no personality of my own now."
"Oh, you have plenty of
personality," he teased.
"If that means I'm
difficult, then you don't need to say anything else till we have a chance to
order." She turned to him
suddenly. "Can you eat?"
He shook his head. "A small amount if I have to. But it's easier not to. I can watch you, though."
"You're lucky I like to
eat then. Otherwise, I'd feel
self-conscious." She freed her arm
and took his hand. "Follow me, Mr.
Fontaine. And let me welcome you to your
first non-holographic restaurant."
He followed her down the
stairs and into the restaurant. It was
dimly lit and warm. A crowd of people,
mostly cadets, were waiting for the few tables that were being cleared from
earlier diners. "You didn't tell me
it was this popular."
"I forgot. It's been a long time since I've been
here." She looked
disappointed. "We should have
called ahead. It never occurred to
me. I guess I got so used to always
having a table waiting at Quark's."
Vic walked up to the maitre
d', who looked at him in a sorrowful way.
"I'm very sorry, sir, but there are a number of people ahead of
you. Without a reservation it will be
quite a long wait. Perhaps you would
like to order a drink in the lounge?"
Vic turned to see that the
bar was packed too. He glanced at Ezri
who gave him an 'oh well' look. He
smiled at her as he reached into his pocket.
Then he leaned in and pressed a strip of latinum into the maitre d's
hand. "Check your list again, pally.
The name is Fontaine. Vic
Fontaine."
"Why, here it is,
sir." The maitre d' made a big show
of crossing something off the list.
"So wise of you to call ahead.
Right this way."
Ezri looked surprised. "Did you call ahead?"
He grinned. "Some things never change,
sweetheart."
"That's not an
answer."
"Sure it is." He waited till she was settled in their booth
and then slid into the seat across from her.
"Nice place."
Her smile was nostalgic. "I used to come here whenever I was
stressed. This was a moment out of
time. You could forget exams,
boyfriends, family..."
"Like music. Sometimes when I sing, I forget all the
things that seemed so critical."
Ezri smiled. "Exactly." She waited as their server came up. Very sweetly, she explained that her friend
had already eaten and wouldn't be ordering anything. She then proceeded to order enough food for
two people.
When the waiter left, Vic
said, "You compensating for me? Or
did you skip lunch...and breakfast?"
She shook her head. "I'm eating for two. Or is that nine?" She laughed.
"I was never a big eater till I was joined. I guess that's normal."
"Jadzia could pack it
away too. I used to wonder where she put
it. Now I know." He noticed Ezri's expression tighten. "Hearing about her tears you up, doesn't
it?"
"Can you blame me? To have that always in front of me, never
quite measuring up. It's like being the
younger sister of the perfect student who also happens to be the most popular
girl in class. I always feel awkward
compared to what Jadzia used to be."
He smiled. "And Jadzia used to feel inadequate next
to Curzon. I think that's normal."
"You knew her pretty
well. I have memories of talking to
you. I mean her memories."
He nodded. "She used to come in to the club. She loved the music. And she liked to dance."
"That was probably
Emony's influence." Ezri studied
him. "Do you want to know about
them?"
He shook his head. "I want to know about Ezri."
She clearly did not believe
him. "Nobody cares about Ezri. It's Dax and the other hosts they're curious
about."
"You can tell me about
them later."
Her mood seemed to darken
again.
"What? What did I just say?"
"Quit pretending. That's all.
Just quit pretending."
Before he could respond, she continued, the words coming out in a
rush. "Everyone pretends that they
care about me, about Ezri. Ben tried to
like me, and Jake and Worf, even Kira.
Well, I think she really does like me.
She can distinguish. But the rest
can't. And Julian, he was the
worst. He pretended to love me, but he
really just wanted Jadzia back. So just
stop, okay? Just stop pretending that
it's me you want, when you really want her."
He looked at her
blandly. "Are you done?"
She sniffed slightly. "Yeah.
Why?"
"Because your food's
here and I imagine this young man is getting tired of waiting."
He grinned, as she looked up
at the waiter, who looked slightly embarrassed to have overhead her rant. Ezri turned red, and the waiter put the food
down quickly and hurried off.
"Oh, god." She closed her eyes. "This is really embarrassing."
Vic gave up trying to hold in
his laugher. As she glared at him, he
let himself enjoy the moment.
"Don't get mad, Ezri. It's
funny."
She tried not to smile. "Okay, it probably is."
He leaned in and took one of
her hands in his. "I'm going to let
you in on a little secret. Jadzia was a
beautiful woman and I loved spending time with her. As a friend.
I wasn't in love with her."
He let his thumb roam over the soft skin on the side of her hand.
"I don't believe
you. Everyone was in love with
her." She stabbed at her food with
her free hand.
He grinned. "Do you want your other hand back?"
"Not till I need to cut
something." She smiled
crookedly. "And what you're doing
feels really good." She speared
another piece of food, this time less angrily.
"So why were you immune to my predecessor's charms?"
"Because I had already
fallen for someone."
She looked up in
surprise. "You had?"
He nodded. "But I didn't know it yet."
She smiled knowingly. "Victoria."
He frowned and shook his
head. "She's like my kid
sister."
"She's an incredibly
beautiful woman." Ezri
laughed. "Just like Jadzia. Obviously, I'm just jealous that I'm not tall
and lovely." Again the fork savaged
a helpless vegetable.
"You shouldn't be. You're the one I fell in love with."
She stopped chewing. "What?"
"The day I was born,
achieved self-awareness, I saw you. In
the holodeck. Here at the Academy. It was before you were joined."
"Back when I was plain
old Ezri Tigan."
"Nothing plain about
you, doll. You were - are - the
loveliest thing I'd ever seen."
"Oh, come on."
"Well, I hadn't been
around much," he teased. He took
the fork from her and put it down before gently capturing her free hand. "That was a joke, Ezri. I'd seen women before. They came into the holodeck to help Felix
test my programming. Or he created
holograms to do that. I knew what women
look like. I'd seen, listened to,
touched, smelled, and tasted a rather large number of both the real and
photonic variety. But I never fell in
love with any of them. But you...I saw
you once and boom, I was a goner. Only I
didn't realize it until you showed up on the station. Then I knew.
It hit me that hard."
"Of all the stations, in
all the sectors..." she trailed off with a shy smile.
"Just exactly. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a
bumpy ride." He shook his
head. "But you didn't even notice
me. First it was Worf, then it was
Julian."
She looked down. "Worf was just because of her."
"Maybe Julian was
too?" When she didn't look up, he
squeezed her hands. "Maybe you were
drawn to him because of her regret that she wasn't. She genuinely cared for him. And she knew how much he loved her. But she loved another. And even before Worf, she wasn't interested
in him. Maybe you were reacting to that,
trying to make up for it?"
She finally did look up. "You don't think I had genuine feelings
for him?"
He shrugged. "Maybe.
Maybe not. But how could you know
any better than he did? You were both
acting off of remembered emotions. I
don't think either of you meant any harm, but at the end of the day it wasn't
love."
"I forgot you're the big
expert on romance." She
laughed. "It's a nice idea. One that I might buy if I didn't have a
history--pre-Dax, I mean--of being attracted to elegant dark-haired, dark-eyed
men."
"A pattern that I happen
to fit." As she glanced at his
hair, he laughed. "Trust me, Ezri,
it was dark. Back when I wasn't so
ancient."
She laughed. "I'll keep that in mind, gramps."
"You do that, kid. You do that." He realized he was openly staring at her and
didn't care anymore. She stared back at
him, her expression unafraid and, he realized suddenly, very amused. "What?"
"Can I have one of my
hands back?"
He let them both go. "Sorry.
Forgot you have to eat."
"Not something you want
to forget. I get cranky when I'm
hungry."
He filed that fact away for
the future. She seemed intent on cutting
all the large cuts of meat and vegetables on her plate into bite-sized
pieces. When she finished, she put the
knife down and reached out her hand. Her
grin was both alluring and innocent.
"You can hold this one. I
don't think I'll need it for a while."
Vic felt something catch in
his throat. It was painful. And it felt better than anything he'd ever
experienced. He closed his hand around
hers, again felt the warmth, the softness.
Then she surprised him by turning her hand over so that their palms were
together. She glanced up at him, smiling
before going back to her food.
He watched her eat for
several minutes. Finally, she put her
fork down. "That was
delicious."
"So you're full?"
"No."
"Does that mean you want
dessert?"
"Oh, of
course." She punctuated her answer
with a light touch of her fingers across his palm. He nearly jumped out of his seat. Her look was mischievous as she did it
again. "You like that?"
He nodded. He wondered if she was filing that fact away
for her future use. He found that he
rather desperately hoped so.
After she'd ordered and eaten
a large piece of cake, he paid the bill and they left the restaurant. It was much colder outside then when they'd
come in. Vic noticed Ezri shiver.
"I'd give you my jacket,
only it's not real."
She laughed. "I've never understood that custom. Not that I'd turn a real jacket down at this
moment, but why should you be cold just so I can be more comfortable?"
"It's a good
question. In my case, I don't get
cold." He wrapped his arm around
her, pulling her close to him and increasing the internal temperature for his
upper body. "But in the future,
I'll bring something real. That is, if
there is going to be a future?"
She snuggled closer to him,
obviously grateful for the amplified warmth he was generating. Then she looked up at him and gave him a
heart-stopping smile. "Just don't
make it wool. I'm allergic to
wool."
'No wool' he added to the
file, setting it alongside 'don't let her get hungry' and 'hands are an erogenous
zone'.
They walked in silence for a
while.
"Do you mind
this?" He looked out at the city
streets. "It feels so good to walk
and I want to do it with you. But if
you're cold?"
She wrapped her other arm
around his waist. "You're so
warm. It feels good. I don't want to cut your first excursion
short."
He turned up his internal
temperature in his torso a bit more, compensating by making his lower legs and
feet even colder. The extra heat had to
come from somewhere as long he was running on the mobile emitter. In the holodeck, he could draw whatever extra
energy he wanted from the central processor.
But here, running on the stand-alone unit, he had to make do with what
resources he had at hand. Just like a
real person. He chuckled.
"What?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. Just enjoying my first look at the big
city."
They walked for over an
hour. They talked at first, then fell
into an easy silence. Vic was afraid his
sensors were going to be overwhelmed from the dueling input of holding Ezri in
his arms and trying to process so much sensory data from this first tour of the
real world.
He was almost relieved when
she said softly, "My apartment's the next block over." They walked slowly to her door, where she
hesitated for a moment. "If you
want to come in?"
He smiled as he took her
hands in his again. "I do. But I won't.
We've got plenty of time."
She nodded. "All the time in the world." She reached up and pulled his face down. Her lips on his cheek were warm. "I had a good time," she whispered,
as she let him go.
"Me too." He touched her face gently, tracing the spots
down her check. She shuddered
slightly. He filed that piece of
information away too. Finally, he let
her go and stepped back. "So, what
are you doing tomorrow?"
She shrugged.
"I thought I might go
see a show. Or whatever the 24th century
version of that is. You want to
come?"
She seemed to be
considering. And considering. And considering. He sighed in frustration, and she burst out
laughing. "I'd love to."
"Tease." He tapped her nose gently. She had, he realized, the cutest nose he'd
ever seen. "Well, now that we've
got that settled, I better go."
She nodded. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Vic."
"Bye, Ezri." He
watched her go into her apartment. Even
after the door closed, he still stood there, waiting but he wasn't sure what
for. Then he saw her in the window above
him. She waved and he waved back, before
forcing himself to head back to his own quarters. He walked the short distance in a daze and
found himself humming the tune to 'You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You'. He couldn't stop grinning. When he got to his room, he spent several
unproductive minutes staring at his reflection in the mirror. It made no sense, but he looked different
somehow. He took off the mobile emitter
and eased into the databases, intent on doing some serious study of Trill
mating habits.
-----------------------**--------------------------
"So what is this
exactly?"
He handed her the program as
he led her to their seats. "It's a
revival."
"'Guys and Dolls?' Is this what you're modeled on?"
"It's a bit before my
time."
"It's 20th
century."
"There's a big
difference between the 1920s and my era.
Capisce?"
"Got it." She smiled at him. "It's really strange to see you out of
the holodeck."
"You think it's weird
for you?" He grinned. "I never thought I'd be eating, or
watching you eat anyway, in a little waterfront restaurant."
"Or going to a show with
me?"
"Especially the 'with
you' part." He took her hand as the
lights went down, felt her fingers wrap around his. Then he was lost in the musical about the
gamblers and ladies and mobsters of old time New York. He had to stop himself from singing
along. At the intermission, they walked
to the mezzanine where Ezri ordered champagne before they followed some of the
others out to a rooftop terrace.
"Are you enjoying
this?" she asked him.
He nodded, as he looked out
at the lights of San Francisco.
"It's beautiful."
She leaned up against the
railing, her shoulders touching his.
"It really is."
"Is your home like
this?"
Her laugh was practically a
snort. "Sappora VII? No."
Her voice got very quiet. "I
hated it there, Vic. It was ugly. So ugly.
Big hunks of earth torn out to make way for the mines. The air was always grimy, and I felt dirty
all the time. I try to think of happy
times there, but the bad memories always seem to take over."
"You don't have to go
back there." He reached for her
hand again. "So Earth is your home
now?"
She turned to look at
him. "Not really. I'm not sure I have one. When I was just Ezri Tigan, I felt as if the
Destiny was my home. It was the first
time I was ever really happy." Her
fingers tightened on his suddenly.
"And Dax took that all
away, didn't it?"
"It's not Dax's
fault. I know it didn't want to be
inside me, any more than I wanted to be joined.
I'm not a very good host."
"How do you know
that? Maybe every host thinks
that."
She turned back to the city
lights. "Maybe."
"For what it's worth, I
think you're a good host."
She laughed softly. "Thanks, Vic."
The theater lights flickered
and they made their way back to their seats.
He didn't try to take Ezri's hand and was surprised when he felt her
hand reach out for his.
She leaned over and whispered
in his ear, "It's comforting."
He turned to her, couldn't
stop the question that he knew he shouldn't ask. "Is that all it is?"
Their eyes met and held. Ezri seemed to have forgotten to
breathe. Finally, she whispered. "No."
"Good," he replied,
as the house lights went down. He found
it difficult to concentrate on the show at first, conscious only of Ezri's hand
resting in his own. He kept seeing the
look on her face as she had admitted there was something more than comfort
going on. He didn't want to push her,
but at the same time he'd been waiting for her such a long time.
Finally, the ovations were
over and they could leave. "Can we
walk?" Ezri asked, as Vic led her to the waiting transport.
"Sure." He took his jacket off and wound it around
her shoulders.
"You remembered."
"I remember everything,
Ezri."
She smiled. "I suppose you do." She laid her hand on her stomach. "I do too. Because of them. People I don't even know seem more real than
my own brothers."
"If you could do it over
again?"
"I'd do it all over
again." She grinned at him. "I guess it's stupid to complain then,
isn't it."
"I don't know about
that. Just because you wouldn't change
how things are, doesn't mean you don't need to vent about life every now and
then."
"I guess."
They walked a few more
blocks, then Vic stopped, mesmerized by the sight of a full moon over the bay.
Ezri walked back to him. "It's beautiful."
"There should be a way
to capture it. But if you try to, it
will be gone. It's just this
moment. That's all."
She was staring up at him, a
strange look on her face. "Just
this moment," she agreed, as she pulled his head down.
Vic couldn't have resisted if
he'd wanted to. And he didn't want
to. When his lips met Ezri's, when he
felt her soft skin press into his, his whole reality seemed to tilt crazily. He reached for her, held on tightly as her
arms wound around his neck, as she pressed her body against him, as the kiss
deepened and changed from something sweet to something urgent and hot.
They finally pulled away from
each other. "Who lives
closer?" he asked huskily.
"You do." She grabbed his hand and started to lead him
in that direction.
He pulled her back to him for
another kiss--he had to have another taste of the woman he'd waited a lifetime
for. Then they hurried to his room.
----------------------------------------------------------
He watched her as she slept. Held her as she moved quietly in his arms, as
her soft breathing changed with the rhythm of her sleep. He let his mind replay the night from the
moment she had kissed him. He relived
hurrying through the streets toward his quarters, stopping every now and then
to kiss desperately. They'd entered his
room and Ezri was in his arms again, and he was undressing her and she was
removing his holemitter. They'd pushed
each other the few steps to the bed and fell down on it, moving and touching
and kissing as they had learned each other's bodies for the first time.
Vic smiled as he remembered
Ezri's responses to his touch. Her own
aggressiveness and need. He'd kept pace
with her, even worn her out at the end.
Being a hologram definitely had its benefits.
He realized that she was
awake and studying him.
"Good
morning." He kissed her.
She just smiled.
"You okay in
there?" He tapped her forehead
softly. "Not regretting
anything?"
She pulled him down to
her. "Has anybody ever told you
that you talk way too much?" Her
lips were sure and hungry on his.
He didn't have to talk for
quite some time. Finally, they lay
tangled; the bedclothes were kicked onto the floor. Not feeling like moving away from her, Vic ordered
some new covers, which appeared over them instantly.
Ezri laughed. "This is all a hologram?"
He nodded. "Everything except you, the holoemitter,
and the console."
"And you." She kissed him softly. "You'll never be just a hologram to
me."
"I hope not."
"So we can change this
room however we want?"
He liked the sound of that
'we.' "However we want."
He rubbed her skin as she
burrowed against his chest. He could
feel her back arch as he reached a particularly sensitive spot. One more thing to add to the memory
banks. He trailed feather-light touches
down the line of her spots. She
shivered. Suddenly she stiffened. "What time is it?"
He looked at the
console. "About 0730."
"Damn. I've got an early meeting today." She was up like a shot. "Is the bathroom real?"
He nodded.
"Replicate me a
uniform?" She was already in the
shower.
He ordered her clothing and
some breakfast to go with it. She smiled
gratefully as she came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a robe. "I ordered this too," she said,
looking down at the robe as she toweled her hair dry.
"I think I preferred you
without it." He knew his grin was
huge.
"I'm sure you
did." She finished eating her
breakfast and moved back to him.
Looking up at her, he pulled
her in to stand against him. "Come
back tonight?"
She leaned down and kissed
him. "I shouldn't."
"Why not?"
She laughed softly. "You'll think I'm too easy."
"You are anything but
easy." He began to pull the robe
off her. "If you can't come back, I
think I need to keep you here then."
She pulled away. "Okay, you win. I'll be back tonight."
He let her go and stood
up. "Good."
She pulled on her uniform and
headed for the door. He stood to watch
her go. Her hand was poised over the
door control, then she turned suddenly and walked back to him, pulling him
close. Her kiss was everything he'd ever
wanted from her...and more. Her eyes
sparkled as she said, "Bye, Vic."
"Bye, Ezri." The door closed behind her. He just stood there; trying to memorize
everything that had happened so that he would always remember the moment he had
first tasted true happiness.
------------------------------------------------
"You're
staring." She smiled, as she looked
back at the water.
"It's a great
view." Vic didn't take his eyes off
of her.
"I didn't drag you all
the way out here to moon over me."
"Hey, I waited a long
time for the privilege of mooning over you."
She turned around long enough
to laugh at him.
He smiled to himself. "Fine.
What am I supposed to be looking at again?"
Ezri pointed to the brown
shapes scattered on the rocks below.
"You brought me out her
to look at some seals?"
"They're sea lions. And yes."
He moved so he was standing
behind her and wrapped his arms around her.
"And why?"
She leaned into him. "Because I like them. Ezri likes them, not all the other
Daxes. I used to come out here all the
time when I was at the Academy."
She pointed to a particularly large sea lion. "He's my favorite."
"Then he's my favorite,
too," Vic whispered in her ear.
Then he pointed to a smaller sea lion that was pestering the bigger
one. "Although the runt that keeps
trying to steal all the fish is pretty scrappy.
I like him a lot too."
She turned, smiling up at
him. "He's new since I was here
last."
"New things can be
good."
"They can," she
agreed. "And unexpected."
He grinned. "Here's to unexpected."
She turned back to look at
the sea lions, watching them for a long time before asking, "How did you
know?"
"How did I know
what?"
"That you loved me? How did you know for sure?"
He considered her
question. "I think it was when you
went after Worf. I'd never really felt
fear until that moment. When I thought that
I might never see you again, it felt like someone had stuck a knife in my
gut. It didn't even matter anymore if
you were ever going to be with me or not.
I just wanted you to be safe."
Her hands tightened on his,
but she didn't say anything.
He whispered, "Being
with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Ezri. But I'd give it all up to see you really
happy."
She twisted her head so she
could look up at him. "I am
happy."
He kissed her cheek. "No.
You're trying to be. And maybe,
in time, you'll get there. But you're
still hurting from what happened with Julian." He tightened his hold on her. "If you need time, I'll give it to
you."
She was quiet for a long
time. Finally, she asked, "What if
this is what I need? You, here, holding
me?"
"Then you've got
it. I'd do anything for you, Ezri."
She pulled one of his hands
up to her lips. "I think you would,
Vic. Just be patient with me. I do want this. You have to believe that."
"I believe it."
She pulled out of his arms
and took his hand, leading him toward a waiting transport.
"We going
somewhere?"
She nodded. "My place. I've suddenly had enough of the great
outdoors. Care to join me for some
inside recreation, Mr. Fontaine?"
The wicked grin she wore left no doubt as to what she had in mind.
His grin was all the answer
either one of them needed.
---------------------------
"Do you believe in
destiny?" Vic asked Ezri as they lay in her bed.
"I don't know
anymore. I used to believe that whatever
happened to us was because we made it happen through the choices and paths we
selected. But ever since Dax and I were
joined, I have all these other thoughts, and with some of the things that have
happened...I just don't know."
After the weeks they'd spent
together, Vic had grown to love the serious way she considered things, the time
and energy she expended on what she considered serious questions. "I believe in it," he said.
"Why?"
"Too many coincidences
in life to just be random. Too many
times that events conspire to place us exactly where we need to be."
She smiled wryly," Would
you say that if I hadn't come to you that day on the holodeck? If we hadn't gone to dinner? If I'd ended up with someone else?"
He grinned. "But you
didn't end up with anyone else. You
_did_ come to the holodeck. We did go to
dinner. I have to believe this was meant
to be. I mean, the odds of you being on
the holodeck, way back when I first became self-aware, and then showing up on
the station and then here?"
"All planned, huh?"
"I'm a romantic,
Ezri. I'll always believe we were
destined to be."
She frowned. "Then Jadzia was destined to die?"
He didn't look away. "I don't like to think that way."
"But..."
"But, yes, I suppose she
was. As sad as it is that she's
gone. As little sense as it made at the
time...as it still makes. I guess she
was." He couldn't meet her eyes.
"If it makes you feel
better, Jadzia would have agreed with you," Ezri said softly. "She wasn't ready, but when the time
came, she seemed at peace with it having been her time to go."
"What does the Dax
symbiont say?" Vic asked, suddenly curious.
"Dax has lost them all,
so it's pretty sanguine about death and the need for transition." She frowned suddenly. "But it's not easy...a new host is hard
on it. The grief of losing the last one,
the confusion from a new joining."
She looked at Vic, her eyes wide.
"I never bothered to consider what this was like for Dax. Just assumed it would be disappointed in me
and that would be the extent of its emotional involvement."
"But it feels far more
than that, doesn't it?"
In a whisper, she said,
"Dax loves us. All of us. Even..."
"Even you?"
She nodded. "I never knew. Never stopped to ask."
He pulled her in to rest
tightly against him. "Well, now you
know."
"Thank you," she
said, leaning up to kiss him.
"I didn't do
anything."
"Yes, you did. You made me think about things I don't
usually think about. You do that a
lot. I don't believe you even realize
how much."
He smiled. "Happy to be of service, ma'am."
"Speaking of
service..."
He shot her a look of feigned
disapproval. "Why, Miss Dax, I'm
shocked and appalled that you would say such a thing."
She began to move against him
in a way she knew he liked. "Well,
be shocked and appalled later. Right
now, I want you to love me."
"My privilege," he
murmured, as he pulled her on top of him.
--------------------------
Vic walked into Felix's
workroom later than usual and was surprised to find the space empty. He crossed into the holodeck and saw Felix
sitting with someone. The other person's
back was turned to Vic but he thought there was something familiar about him.
"There you are,"
Victoria hissed in his ear. "You
and your Troll oversleep?"
"Trill. And cut it out, Victoria. Sarcasm doesn't become you."
"Then try to get to work
on time. I'm tired of making
excuses...to your old friend."
Vic looked back at the man
sitting with Felix. "Doc?" he
called out.
With a smile, Julian turned
and rose. "Vic! I wondered where you were." He took the hand Vic held out to him, then
touched the mobile holoemitter.
"Pretty amazing technology.
I'm still having trouble with the idea of you walking around outside of
the holodeck."
"You and me both,
Doc." Vic grinned. "You here for a visit?"
Felix shook his head. "He's stationed here now. Isn't that great?"
Vic thought he heard a
warning note in Felix's voice. He looked
at his creator, saw a hard look fill Felix's eyes. Felix must have heard of Sloan's run-ins with
Julian. "You're on Earth now?"
Vic asked Julian.
Julian nodded. Vic noticed his eyes kept straying to
Victoria, who looked particularly stunning in a simple black dress. Then Julian looked at Vic, an odd expression
on his face. "Ezri's here
too."
Vic didn't look away. "I know."
Julian turned to Felix. "Can Vic and I have some time
alone?"
Felix got up and said to
Victoria, "Come on. Let's give them
a chance to catch up."
She didn't look like she was
terribly interested in leaving, so Vic shot her a hard look. With a slight pout, she turned on her heel
and followed Felix out.
Julian walked back to his
chair and sat down. "How long,
Vic?"
Vic wasn't sure if Julian's
voice held censure or not. "How
long what, Doc?" He sat down across
from Julian.
Julian cocked an eyebrow, the
smiled wryly. "I guess there is
more than one question there. How long
have you been seeing her? How long have
you been in love with her? How long did
it take her to forget me?"
Vic studied his friend. "A few weeks, forever, and why do you
want to know?"
Julian looked away. "She and I didn't part on the best
terms. I still regret a lot of what
happened."
Vic nodded. "You lost one hell of a woman."
"I know."
Vic took pity on him. "She's still not over you."
Julian looked at him in
surprise.
Vic shrugged. "What's the point of lying? You'll probably run into her before too long,
and then you'll find out on your own."
He brushed nonexistent lint from his lapels, tried to ask causally. "Do you want her back?"
Julian didn't answer.
"Doc, I need to
know. I love her. But if you still love her too, you've got to
tell me."
"Why? Because you'll step aside?"
"I didn't say
that," Vic said quickly.
"You just need to hear
it from me? Know your enemies and all
that?"
"We're not enemies,
Julian."
They stared at each other a
long time before Julian said softly, "I'll always love her, Vic. But not the way she needs me to, not the way
I need to love someone. I think...I
think that I was settling..." He
trailed off uncomfortably.
"I think you were too,
Doc. You wanted Jadzia, and Ezri was the
next best thing." Vic smiled
bitterly. "But I'm not exactly an
objective party here. I want Ezri. I want to keep her."
"Even if she's settling
for you?" Julian asked.
Vic met Julian's eyes. The doctor's eyes were bland.
"Is that what you
think? That she's settling for me?"
"For your sake, I hope
not. She deserves someone who really
loves her. So do you."
Vic relaxed slightly.
"Just treat her right,
Vic. That's all I ask. I do still care a great deal about her."
Vic nodded. "I'd never hurt her."
"No, I don't suppose you
would." Julian got up. "I've got to run, I have a meeting at
Starfleet Medical. It was good seeing
you."
"Same here,
Doc." He walked Julian to the
door. "Don't be a
stranger." Even as he said the
words, Vic wasn't sure he meant them.
"Right, Vic. Take care of yourself."
"And her. I got it, Julian."
As Julian strode down the
hall, Victoria materialized next to Vic.
"Trouble in paradise," she asked.
Vic didn't appreciate the
note of enjoyment in her voice.
"Nothing I can't handle," he answered, refusing to give her
more information.
"Not exactly a
resounding 'No,' Vic." She leaned
in. "Just how long before he runs
into Ezri, do you suppose?"
Vic glared at her.
She laughed. "Not that she'd ever choose him over
you. Oh wait, she did once before,
didn't she?"
He turned away, called up the
band. "Come on, we've got work to
do."
Her mocking laughter seemed
to echo through the holodeck.
------------------------------
He was just arriving home one
morning when his comm chime went off. He
answered it expecting to see Ezri's face.
"Did you forget to tell me something important like--"
It wasn't Ezri. It was Sloan.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Vic, but I'm not that charming Trill
you've been keeping company with for the last few weeks."
Vic felt uneasy. It would be naïve to think the Section wouldn't
find out about her, but it still bothered him hearing Sloan talk about
her. "What do you want?"
"Got another job for you
and Victoria. We've got a sting in place
to take down one of those individuals identified on the files you two
found. Just need your help in the
surveillance department. There's a lot
of security on the particular holosuite our target uses. We can't get in there, but you can. You can be our eyes and ears. I'll meet you in your lounge in an hour to
prep. You'll tell Ms. Fountain for me,
yes?"
"I didn't say I'd do
it."
"Are you saying you
won't?" Sloan's voice was perfectly
even. They just stared at each other,
then Sloan smiled. "She's a lovely
woman, your Ezri Dax."
"Meaning what?"
Sloan held up a hand, his
smile didn't alter. "Just an
observation, Vic."
Vic felt his unease turn to
fear. "If you touch her..."
"Vic, Vic, I'm not going
to touch her. You're paranoid, my
friend. Now I'll see you in an
hour?"
Vic just nodded.
"Great. Don't forget to tell Victoria." Sloan signed off.
Vic thought furiously. He needed to make sure he could protect
Ezri. And himself. He went into the system, searching through
Felix's personal files. Maybe if he
could sneak in when Felix had one of them open, he'd be able to find the codes
he needed to protect himself...and Ezri.
It took him a moment to realize the file was open. Felix was apparently already at work.
Vic checked the open file
quickly. It didn't have the information
he needed. He had to wait until it was
nearly time to meet Sloan before Felix accessed the file he wanted. Vic copied the command codes he needed and
the contact numbers. Stupid of Felix to
keep them all in one place but typical of him to think that no one would be
able to bust through his security systems.
As he rushed back to the holodeck, Vic felt Victoria near him.
"What were you
doing?" she asked suspiciously.
"Are you authorized to be there?"
"Sloan wants us for a
job. I was looking for you, where were
you?"
He hoped that she'd been up
to something irregular, and it looked like she had as his question knocked her
off the attack. "I was just
exploring. Nothing bad."
"I'm sure. Come on, or we'll be late. And I don't know about you, but I don't like
to keep Sloan waiting."
-------------------------------------------
"Where were you this
afternoon? I called you
twice." Ezri moved to find a more
comfortable position in the floating bed she'd called up from the holomatrix.
The job had taken all
day. He hadn't gotten back to see he had
messages until it was nearly time to see her.
He decided to go for the simplest answer. "Working."
She turned over and studied
him. "Working?"
He scratched her back
lightly.
She smiled in pleasure but
said, "Don't think you can distract me.
Since when do you work?"
"Since I got back from
the station." He moved his hand up
to rub under her hair. She groaned
happily. "I have to earn my pay
around here, same as you, Lieutenant."
"Then when you said you
were going away that time. It was for
work?"
"Uh huh." He began to kiss the back of her neck. "Do you really want to talk about this
right now?"
She giggled as his tongue
traced the pattern of her spots. "I
guess not."
"Me neither." But he knew she wasn't going to drop it. Ezri Dax was like a terrier when she wanted
to know something. Even as he made love
to her, he refined the story he was going to tell her. He didn't like to lie, especially to her, but
he knew telling her the truth wouldn't be safe for her.
As she got dressed for the
day, she brought it up again. "So
where do you work?"
"On the holodeck."
"But your
holoemitter?"
"Just to make it easier
to get around." He saw her
frown. "Ezri, why are you making a
federal case out of this? I test new
holoprograms out. I can debug from the
inside while the thing is running. It's
efficient and it's what I'm made for."
He saw her face relax. "What
did you think I was doing? Being Vic the
super spy?"
She laughed. "Of course not. I just didn't know you worked."
He hugged her. "It's a good thing I do or I'd spend the
day just waiting for you to come back to me."
"True." She kissed him tenderly. "You're full of surprises. I didn't expect that."
"Well, expect it. Everyone has secrets, Ezri. As a counselor, you should know that."
She nodded. "My mistake. Keep surprising me. I like it."
"You got it, doll."
"So do you have any
other secrets?"
He took a deep breath.
"Vic?"
"Julian's on Earth. I saw him a few day's ago."
She exhaled strongly. At his look, she smiled. "I saw him too. I wasn't sure if I should tell you."
He laughed softly. "Quite the pair."
She nodded. "It was odd seeing him."
"How so?"
She looked him in the eyes,
her own expression held no guile.
"Part of me was happy, even wanted to try again. I guess I still love him."
"I could have told you
that." He knew his smile was
bittersweet.
"But another part of me
was just happy to see my friend Julian...was more worried about where you
were."
He gave her a more genuine
smile. "Glad to hear it."
She kissed him gently. "I won't deny that it'll hurt the first
time I see him with someone new. I may
get angry, or cry. But that's just a
part of letting go."
"It is," he agreed.
"I'm with you now,"
she said firmly...too firmly.
He wondered which one of them
she was trying to convince.
-----------------**----------------------
Vic was working on a new song
when Victoria came in with Felix. He
finished, then joined them at the front table.
"You seem happy,"
Felix noted. "Haven't seen you
after hours much lately, Vic."
"He's in love,"
Victoria observed with a pretty pout.
"You are?"
Vic shrugged. "I'm seeing someone." He didn't want to give Felix anything his
creator could use against him.
"Every night that we're
not working." Victoria rolled her
eyes. "He's smitten, Felix. Totally gone on this one."
Felix laughed. "Well, humans fall in love with
holograms all the time, why shouldn't a hologram?"
Victoria wasted no time in
correcting him. "She's real."
Vic knew how much she hated
that word. That she used it surprised
him. But he guessed it was the only way
to refer to it with Felix. "Someone
from the station," he offered.
"The Trill that Sloan
mentioned? I thought he was
kidding." Felix looked
thoughtful. "Well, good for you,
Vic. If you two are in love, that's
great."
Victoria shot Felix a
disgusted look. "Didn't you say
that you had a new job for us?"
"Yeah. An additional surveillance target
tonight. Another of the traitors you two
identified from Keldor's files. Sloan's
instructions are to just watch her. But
if she tries to leave before 2200, distract her. She needs to be there with the other
target. Something big is going down
tonight."
Vic nodded absently.
"Hey, Vic. You in or what?"
"Of course I'm in. It's what I do, right?"
"Guess you'll have to
tell your honey that tonight is off," Victoria said, as she brushed past
him to take the data cube that Felix was holding out.
"She understands I have
irregular hours."
"I'll leave you two to
read up. Good luck," Felix said
from the door.
Once he was gone, Victoria
turned to Vic. "She really doesn't
question where you go? Or"--she
draped herself around him--"who you're with?"
"She trusts me. She knows I love her."
"Just like you know she
loves you. Because she says it all the
time, right?" Victoria burst out
laughing at his expression. "Ooh,
hit a nerve. The Trill won't say that
she loves him."
"She cares for me."
"Not quite the same
thing, is it?" Victoria gave him a
look he couldn't decipher. "Not the
same thing at all."
Vic tried to ignore her as he
studied the data. He hadn't told Ezri
that he loved her either, not since their first date at Sekhmet. He didn't want to spook her. Or was he just afraid that if he did say it,
he wouldn't hear it back? The thought
bothered him even as he told himself to concentrate on work.
-------------------------------------
"Do you ever get
mad?"
Vic turned to look at Ezri.
"I'm serious, Vic. Don't you ever get moody or angry?"
He thought of watching Moro
kill the young woman in the holosuite, then forcing Victoria to have sex with
him in the same spot. Remembered how furious
that had made him. "Yeah,
doll. I get mad."
"When?"
"You haven't seen
it. I can't imagine you ever
will." He smiled at her. "Did you want me to program in some
moodiness?"
She shook her head. "Your just always so even-keeled and
upbeat. It's not nat--" she cut
herself off.
"Not natural?" He studied her before smiling slightly. "But that's the point, isn't it? I'm not natural. I'm exactly the opposite."
She walked over to where he
sat on the couch. "I didn't mean to
insult you," she said, as she snuggled in next to him.
"I'm not sure you did
insult me," he said, as he pulled her closer. "Fact is, I'm not natural. I have my own personality, but my basic
reactions are pretty much programmed in.
If you want more random reactions, I can program that in...but it
wouldn't be any more _natural_ than how I act now."
"I'm sorry I brought it
up," she said softly.
"Why? Is this something we can't talk about?"
"Vic, I didn't say
that."
"Well, it sure sounds
like you did. Face it, sweetheart,
you're with a hologram. So making
discussion about my programming off limits is really going to put a crimp in
our conversations."
"I never said..."
"The hell you
didn't..." he trailed off as he realized she was grinning. "What?"
"You're angry."
"I'm not angry. I'm..."
He stopped to consider just what he was feeling. "I'm annoyed."
"And that's so
good," she said with a laugh, as she pulled him to her. "This may be the closest thing we have
to a fight, Vic. What do you say we try
the making up part?"
He smiled grudgingly, as she
began to nuzzle his neck. "Making
up, huh?"
"Uh huh," she
murmured.
"Okay. I guess." She hit a spot he really liked. "Oh yeah, that's the ticket."
"Can we fight some
more," she asked, as she crawled on top of him.
"Whatever you want,
Ezri," he answered absently, as he surrendered to her touch.
"You," she
whispered. "I want you."
"You've got me,
love. Never doubt that," he
whispered.
-------------------------------------
Vic woke up alone in Ezri's
bed. He looked around the room; saw her
sitting on the window seat, knees drawn up tightly to her chest. "Ezri?"
She didn't turn to look at
him as she said, "I'm all right. Go
back to sleep."
He sat up in bed and turned
on the light. "I don't think you
are all right or you'd still be in bed sleeping."
"And of course you're
the expert."
Vic took a deep breath. He hadn't seen this snappish Ezri for quite a
while. "Why don't you tell me
what's going on so I can quit playing counselor then?"
She finally turned to look at
him. He could see she'd been crying.
"What if I don't know
what's wrong?"
He got out of bed and walked
to the window seat. Sitting down next to
her, he was careful not to touch her.
"You're hurting. Maybe we
can figure it out together?"
She hugged her knees in
closer, rested her chin on them.
"Maybe you should just leave me alone." Her voice was very small.
"Maybe I should,"
he agreed. "But I don't plan
to." He watched her for a few
minutes. "Is it us?" She shook her head, and he felt a surge of
relief. "Is it Julian?"
She didn't answer and his
heart sank.
"Ezri, are you still in
love with him?"
She shrugged, but he saw a
tear roll down her cheek.
He sighed and sat back,
waiting for her to open up. Five minutes
passed, then ten. He didn't move, just
sat watching her.
Finally, she looked over at
him. "I saw him today."
Vic waited.
"He was with
someone." She leaned back and
looked up at the ceiling. "Tall,
long dark hair, beautiful...are you getting the picture?"
He nodded. "Jadzia."
She laughed sharply. "Jadzia.
I wasn't good enough, so he's going to keep looking for her."
"He may well do that,
Ezri. But that's his problem, not
yours. If he's trying to replace Jadzia,
he's never going to succeed."
She nodded.
"Just because you and he
couldn't make it work, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you."
"I tried to be her,
Vic. At the end, I tried so hard to be
her."
He shook his head. "And if you can't be her, then who
can? I hope he stops looking for her and
starts letting real love in. Because
Jadzia's just a dream he can never ever catch." He reached over, took her hand. "But you were the real thing, Ezri. And he let you get away."
She smiled sadly. "You're so good to me, Vic. I'm not sure I deserve you."
"I'm not sure you do
either," he teased, happy to see her smile grow warmer.
She moved closer to him, laid
her head on his shoulder. "Just
when I think I'm over him, something like this happens and I feel as if my
whole world is spinning out of control."
"It's not. This is just one of those dips in the road
that you have to walk when a relationship ends.
It's not easy to let go, to say goodbye...not when you've invested such
a large part of yourself in it."
"But he let it go so
easily."
He put his arm around
her. "It just looks like that,
sweetheart. I think he was hurting more
than you realize. And he's going to go on
hurting unless he lets go of his obsession with a dead woman."
She winced slightly at the
harshness of his words, but said, "You're right. But then you usually are when it comes to
love." As he kissed her hair, she
whispered, "So did you ever love someone like that?"
"I'm holding the only
woman I've ever loved," he said softly.
"No, I mean before...in
your memories...in the original Vic's life...was there a woman who got
away?"
He thought. Spending time in his memories of the past
wasn't something he did very often anymore.
They colored who he was, how he acted and spoke, but he'd moved beyond
them and he didn't like to delve too much into what lay beneath his own
recollections. But for Ezri, he'd
embrace the past that was the real Vic's life.
He called up the memories, saw a young blonde woman lying in a hospital
bed, smiling bravely up at him.
"Cindy," he whispered.
"Cindy?"
"She died...a sickness
that couldn't be cured back then. We
were going to be married, had a little place just outside the city limits
picked out and everything." He felt
a terrible sadness come over him as he remembered the pain she'd been in, the
way the real Vic had put aside his own suffering until she was gone. Vic suddenly wondered why Felix had chosen to
include this in his programming. It
seemed...cruel, somehow. "Losing
her...it was the hardest thing Vic ever had to endure. He just wanted to curl up next to her and
follow wherever she was going to go."
"But he...you
couldn't." She sounded confused as
to which one of them she should show sympathy for.
He didn't blame her; it was
confusing to him too. "I
couldn't," Vic agreed. "But
I...he never loved again. Never let
himself, even though he professed to be such an expert on love. What a hypocrite."
"I don't think so,"
she said as she rose and pulled him up.
"I think it makes you more human.
It's the contradictions that make us real." She smiled gently. "So we've both loved and lost."
He nodded as she pulled him
close.
"Love again, Vic. Love me."
As he kissed her, he tried
not to dwell on the fact that she still hadn't said she loved him.
-----------------------------
Ezri woke with a start. Vic had allowed himself to drift and he had
missed that she was moving restlessly.
He wasn't even sure that Trills dreamed.
"Nightmare?" he whispered.
She was breathing
quickly.
"Ezri?" He ordered the room to turn up the lights.
They slept tonight in a bed of leaves high in the wide trunk of an ancient
tree. The arrangement seemed to only make
Ezri more anxious. "Computer play
Vic program Q1." The room
rearranged itself into the bedroom of his apartments in Vegas. "What's wrong, Ezri?"
Her eyes were haunted as she
looked at him. "Do you believe in
premonitions?"
He wasn't sure where she was
going with the question. "I don't
know. I guess maybe."
"I dreamt that I
died."
Vic felt a chill. "I think everyone dreams that once in a
while."
She shook her head. "No.
I dream it all the time."
"Everyone dies sooner or
later, Ezri. It's not that unusual a
dream."
"It is when it's the
only dream you ever have."
Tears welled up in her eyes
and Vic pulled her in closer.
"Ezri, inside you is a creature that has watched eight people die
and leave it. Maybe the dreams are from
Dax not you."
"Jadzia dreamt it
too. And Curzon. Just before he died."
"Did the other
hosts?"
She shook her head.
"Well, there you
go. Jadzia picked up Curzon's
fears. He was an old man, right? It would be natural that he'd worry about
that. And you're picking up Jadzia's
fears coupled with your own. It's
nothing, Ezri. Let it go,
sweetheart."
She hugged him tightly. "Just a bad dream?"
"Just a bad
dream." He kissed her hair. "I'm not letting you leave me that
easily."
She laughed a little. "I guess not after you've waited this
long. Wouldn't be fair."
"No, it wouldn't."
She kissed him. "Let's get out of here. Go away."
"Where?"
"You can go anywhere,
right?" At his nod, she continued,
"I want to go to Risa."
"Why Risa?"
"Curzon died
there."
"Ezri, I'm not sure this
is a good idea--"
She cut him off. "I have to face this, Vic. I need to see it. Jadzia had to do the same thing. See the planet. See Arandis...the woman Curzon was with. Face what it meant. Maybe then the dreams will stop."
"If you're sure..."
She tapped her stomach. "Curzon's still alive here, Vic. Alive but knowing he's not. It's haunting me, I think. I made my peace, as much as I could, with
Jadzia on the station. Now I need to
make my peace with him. Of all the
hosts, he is speaking the loudest right now."
"Then let's go shut him
up. When do you want to go?"
"Now? I've got some leave saved up."
"You make the
arrangements. I'll follow you into
hell. You know that, right? I love you, Ezri."
She just smiled, as she got
up to make the travel reservations.
He tried not to dwell on what
she hadn't said.
After a few minutes she came
back to bed. "We leave
tomorrow. And we've still got time for
this," she said, as she pushed him over and bent to kiss him.
"All the time in the
world," he murmured, as his mouth met hers.
--------------------------------------
Ezri had just left when the
door chime rang. "Come."
"Thought she'd never
leave." Victoria had traded in her
normal gown for a Starfleet uniform.
"You shouldn't be
wearing that," he said.
"Who's going to stop
me? Besides it causes less commotion
than when I wear one of my dresses."
"Then wear something a
little less conspicuous."
"Someone's in a bad
mood."
"Change the outfit. It's wrong."
"Oh, fine." She made an adjustment to her mobile emitter,
and her image skipped for a moment. When
it corrected, she was dressed in casual civilian clothes. "Better?"
"Much."
"And you're not mad at
me anymore?" She smiled winningly
at him.
"What do you want,
Victoria?"
"I'm going to Las
Vegas. It's a gift from Felix. All expenses paid for two. I want you to come with me. Show me the town. The way you remember it."
"I don't remember
it. I'm not the real Vic."
She pouted. "You can make something up then. Please, Vic," she wheedled.
"I'm gonna be gone for a
while."
"For how long?"
He shrugged.
"Where are you
going?"
"Risa. With Ezri."
"You can go there
later." She had a pleading
look. "Please, it's my
birthday."
He shook his head. "I'll bring you back something
nice."
"I don't want something
nice. I want you."
"Victoria."
She moved in, her expression
more serious than he'd ever seen it.
"What can she do for you that I can't?" She touched his arm; let her hand move up to
his shoulder. "I could make you
happy."
"I am happy."
She pressed against him. Her voice was so low that he barely heard her
say, "But I love you."
He held her for a
moment. "I love you too,
kiddo. But not like that."
"Well, try."
He laughed softly. "It's not that easy."
She backed up. "You really love her that much?"
He nodded.
She looked away for a
moment. "Why?"
"Someday you'll
understand, sweetheart. Someday you'll
fall for somebody and you'll realize this was nothing."
"It's not nothing to
me." She looked hurt. "Is that all I am to you? Nothing?"
"I didn't mean it like
that. You know I care about you. You and me...we're simpatico. We understand each other."
Her expression tightened. "I'm not so sure we do." She turned to go. "Have a good time on Risa."
"What do you want me to
bring you?"
"Something you don't
want to give." She smiled sadly as
she looked back at him. "Just pick
up a horga'hn or something."
"Okay. Enjoy Vegas.
I'll make it up to you."
"Sure, you will,"
she said gloomily as she left the room.
--------------------------------------
Risa was the most beautiful
place he'd ever seen. But it reminded
him of the holodeck. Everything was too
easy, made perfect by technology.
Ezri seemed to feel it too as
they settled in. "It's fake, isn't
it?"
He hugged her from behind,
his arms wrapping around her stomach.
"It may be, but the people here aren't."
She turned in his arms. "I didn't mean that you weren't
real."
He nodded. "That's fine, doll."
"No, I didn't mean it
that way." She sighed. "Vic, I say things sometimes without
thinking. You know that. I'm an idiot."
He kissed her. "No, you're not. Our situation is unique. I'm the one that needs to accept
that." He let her go and went to
the window. Their room looked out on the
beach.
She followed his gaze. "Do you like to swim?"
He had to think about
that. He seemed to remember a memory
from the initial Vic Fontaine programming.
Parties on the sand, colorful blankets laid out, lots of other kids, all
of them splashing and horsing around in the water. He smiled at the scene. "Yeah, I like to swim," he answered
softly.
"Me, too."
"Excuse me, am I
disturbing you?"
Vic turned to see a beautiful
woman standing in the door.
"I'm Arandis."
Vic nodded in approval. Arandis was a looker. With the face of an angel and a body made for
loving. He watched as Ezri's smile grew
wide. "I know I don't know you, but
they did and I..." she trailed off embarrassed.
Arandis laughed. "I'm getting used to meeting Curzon's
successors. Give an old friend a hug,
Dax."
Vic saw Ezri stiffen slowly
at the choice of names Arandis had chosen.
But she embraced her warmly anyway, then moved to stand next to
him. "This is my friend Vic
Fontaine."
Arandis gave him a
questioning look. "I didn't see you
arrive."
He patted the mobile
emitter. "I have my own mode of
transport." At her continued look
of confusion, he glanced at Ezri. "I think it's up to you to tell
her."
Ezri hesitated a moment. "He's a hologram."
"That's different. Interesting though." Arandis stepped forward to take his
hand. "It's a pleasure to meet any
friend of Dax."
"Likewise."
"Well, I'll leave you two
alone. Stop by the main residence if you
want to talk. I'm usually
there." She bowed formally. "All that is ours is yours."
As the door closed, Ezri sat
down on the bed. "That was harder
than I thought."
He sat next to her. "Maybe you thought everything would
clear up when you saw her, when you faced her?" He kissed her cheek. "Maybe you thought coming face to face
with Dax's past would free you. But it
hasn't, has it?"
She shook her head.
"Maybe it never
will. Or maybe it will in time. Nothing you can do now about it. So why don't we go swimming?" He patted her on the rear, earning himself a
glare. "Get changed."
She got up and shot him an
evil smile. "Good thing we know
your emitter is waterproof."
He remembered the time in her
shower when he'd followed her in, not even thinking of the mobile emitter. They had both stared at it, waiting for it to
short. But it hadn't. Since then they had tested it several more
times. He smiled at her. "Damn good thing. Now get ready."
He adjusted the mobile
emitter so he was in swim trunks and sandals.
She came out and tossed him a towel.
They walked down the beach until they found a spot to themselves. Then she led him into the surf. As soon as he felt the water lap at his feet,
he remembered what to do. He walked out
a few steps and then dove into the surf.
He surfaced to find her still standing on the sand. "Are you coming?"
"In a minute."
"Lieutenant Dax, you are
coming into this water."
"Uh huh." She was backing out.
He strode out of the water
and before she could protest, scooped her up and carried her into the
water.
"Don't dunk me,"
she squealed. "Norvo and Janel
used to do that. I hate it." She began to struggle.
"Hey, hey. I'm not going to dunk you." He slowly settled into the water, pulling her
closer. "I'm not going to do
anything you don't want."
She moved so she was wrapped
around him. Her arms tightened around
his neck and she leaned in to kiss him.
"Lose the trunks," she whispered.
"I thought you might say
that," he said, as he hit the sequence of keys he'd programmed to get rid
of his clothing.
"You made a 'get naked'
subroutine just for me?" she asked, as she wiggled out of the bottoms to
her suit.
"Just for you," he
said, as she settled on him, and he marveled again that something so simple
could feel so good. "Always for
you."
"I love you,
Vic." She was staring at him as the
gentle waves bumped them, adding to the movements that were bringing them both
so much pleasure. "I mean
that. I love you." She kissed him deeply as they finished what
they'd started.
They floated for a while in
the shallows, entwined and kissing.
Finally, she put her suit back on, and he entered the code to replace
his clothes. They left the water and
collapsed onto their towels. She leaned
over him, studying his face. "I
love you. I wasn't ready to say it until
now."
He touched her face, tracing
the curve of her cheek. "You don't
have to say it now just to make me happy."
She grinned. "It makes me happy to say it."
"Well, in that
case." He pulled her down for
another kiss.
She kissed him back with an
unhurried ease that was new.
"You know," he
whispered. "You should never
believe an 'I love you' that's said in the throes of passion."
"I've heard that,"
she teased, then her expression grew serious.
"Does it seem too sudden? Do
you think I don't know how I feel?"
He laid a finger on her
lips. "I believe that you think you
know how you feel. And I want to accept
that you love me."
She curled into his
arms. "You make me feel safe,
Vic. In a way that I'm going to have a
tough time explaining, but I'm going to try." She smiled up at him. "You give me a place to let down the
armor, to stop being Dax and just be Ezri.
I feel like no matter what I do or say or what's inside me, you'll love
me the same sweet, constant way."
"I will," he
agreed.
"I don't have to wear a
mask with you. I love that. I love you." She stared at him, then slowly smiled. "I.
Love. You."
"I love you too,"
he said as he pulled her to him.
They stayed in the sunshine
for several hours until Ezri complained that she was hungry. Getting dressed, they went to the main
residence to find some food. Arandis
smiled at them from across the room but did not come over.
"Do you think I offended
her?" Ezri asked as she made short work of her salad.
He shook his head. "I think she's smart enough to know when
to let go."
"I hope you're
right. I don't want to hurt
her." Arandis was laughing at
something her dinner partner was saying.
"She doesn't look very hurt though, does she?"
He laughed. "She really doesn't." He leaned in.
"Why don't you tell me more about how you love me?"
She grinned as the waiter
walked up with her food. "I'll tell
you after I've eaten."
"I know where I
rate." He laughed. as she pretended
that she was going to set her fork down.
"Eat, Ezri. For god's sake,
eat before things get ugly."
She grinned and set to
enjoying her food. And then dessert and
coffee. He hoped she was full as they
left the restaurant, walking along a path in the gardens holding hands. He noticed her dig into her pocket, then she
slipped something onto his finger. He
stopped walking and looked at the coppery gold ring. It had a clear stone on it that sparkled in
the lamplight. "Ezri?"
She smiled but he could tell
she was trying not to cry. "It was
my father's."
"You don't talk about
him much."
"I know. He wasn't in my life very much when I got
older...couldn't stand being around my mother.
Left her to run the company alone, which was fine with my mother. But when he ran, he left us alone with her. I'm having a hard time forgiving him for
that."
"Why do you have to
forgive him?"
"Because he came back. When I went home that time on the
station?" She looked at him
questioningly, as if asking if he remembered.
When he nodded, she continued.
"As I was getting ready to return to the station, he came back to
try to reclaim what was left of his family."
"And to try to rein your
mom in?"
Ezri laughed scornfully. "As if that's possible." She looked down. "I left my brothers alone with her. Same as he did."
"Maybe it's you that you
need to forgive?"
She nodded. "Maybe." She looked down at the ring. "I got this from the family solicitor
the day I left for the academy. My
father had told him to give it to whichever of his children defied my mother
first. I was the one."
"You did what you had to
do, Ezri."
"I did what I
wanted...needed to do. But I'm not sure
it was the right thing. My brothers
suffered. She warped them, especially
Norvo. He murdered someone, Vic. Killed her viciously. I'd have never thought he had it in
him."
"We never know what
another person is capable of until they do it," Vic offered.
Ezri smiled. "I suppose that's true. Both bad and good." She touched the ring. "I'd have never guessed my father would
come back. He must care more for my
mother than any of us knew." She
sighed. "Janel thinks mother loves
my father still too. But they're already
fighting."
Vic wasn't sure what to say.
"At least Janel is going
to get the chance to escape, see something more than just the Sappora
System."
"That's good." He looked down at the ring. "If this ring has bad memories--"
"Oh, no." She looked sheepish. "The ring doesn't. Until this last visit, I worshiped my father. I missed him terribly but I envied him his
freedom, and his courage in leaving. I
used to wear this ring a lot, until I went back. And saw what damage he and I had done."
"Ezri, you didn't do
it. Neither did he, not really. Your mother did." He pulled the ring off. "In any case, I can't accept this. It's too much."
She took it back. Then reached for his hand and firmly put it
on. "I want you to have something
of me. It's the only thing I have to
give you, Vic."
He smiled as he drew her into
his arms. "Oh, you've given me more
than you'll ever know."
She hugged him fiercely. "I love you, Vic. It just took me awhile to realize that."
"Ezri." He kissed her hard, knew he would never get
enough of her. "God, I love
you."
As she led him back to their
building, he leaned in and whispered.
"Let's come back here every year.
Fake or not, I adore Risa."
Laughter was her only answer
as she pulled him into their room and engaged the privacy lock.
--------------**---------------------
"So, did you have a good
time?" Victoria looked up with a
smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"We did," Vic
answered, putting the emphasis on the 'we.'
"Glad to hear it,"
she said, sounding anything but.
"How was Vegas?"
She made a non-committal
sound.
"You did go?"
Victoria scowled. "Of course, I went. Do you think I just sat here mooning over
you?"
"So why the lack of
enthusiasm?"
"It was fine, Vic. What more do you want me to say?"
He shrugged.
Victoria stared at him for a
moment, then got up and walked to the piano.
"You look different."
He followed her onstage. "I programmed in a tan."
She shook her head. "It's not that. You look...happy, I guess. I take it Ezri treated you right?"
He couldn't keep a dopey grin
off his face.
"Asked and
answered," she said, as she began to tap out a new melody on the keys.
"Something new?"
She nodded. "Not mine though. Picked it up off a singer in the hotel
lounge. Traded him one of mine for
it."
"Trade him anything
else?" he teased.
Her expression darkened. "Would it be any of your business if I
did?"
"God, you're touchy
today. What is your problem?"
She slammed her fingers down
on the keys, the discordant sound filling the holodeck. "There's nothing wrong with me,
Vic. Now are we going to rehearse or
what?"
"Sure, sis."
She glared at him.
He walked over to stand
behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry you had to go alone, Victoria," he said, as he
rubbed her neck.
She relaxed under his
touch. "I missed you." She leaned back against him. "After all you've told me, Vegas _is_
you, Vic. It wasn't right being there
without you.
Vic was pretty sure whatever
he said would only make things worse, so he didn't say anything, just kept
massaging her neck. She seemed to relax
even more against him. Then she finally
pulled away and started to play the piano.
"Do you want to learn
this song or not?" she asked, her voice much gentler than it had been.
"You bet I do," he
said, giving her all of his attention as she began to sing the first verse.
------------------------------------
"So, you're still
goofing off when you should be working?"
Vic turned in his chair, was
stunned to see Quark striding into the holodeck. "You're a bit far from home, aren't
you?"
"Somebody has to keep
the Federation in line. Not that it's
going to be me, mind you, but Rom wanted me to come along on this trip. He's finding that he can't trust some of his
advisors. Imagine that?" Quark looked around the lounge. "You've changed the place. I like it.
Now where's Ezri? I heard you and
her were tog--" Ezri apparently forgotten, Quark practically stalked over
to where Victoria sat at the piano. "Well, hello there."
"Hello," she said
cautiously.
He leaned forward, took her
hand in his. "I'm an old friend of
Vic's. And did I mention that my brother
is the Grand Nagus?"
"I don't think you
did," Victoria purred, clearly amused by her first real Ferengi. "And you are?"
"Where are my
manners? I'm Quark and I'm at your
service...well, provided there's no cost involved, of course." He smiled toothily.
"Charmed. I'm Victoria."
"A lovely name."
Vic walked over to the two of
them. "Quark, I thought you wanted
to see Ezri?"
"You two together?"
Quark asked, never taking his eyes off Victoria.
"Yes."
"Forget Ezri,
then." He held out his arm to
Victoria. "I'd rather hear all
about you, my dear."
Victoria took his arm. "Oh, there's not much to tell," she
said with a mysterious smile.
"Why don't I believe
that?" Quark said, oozing sincerity and lust. "Maybe we could get rid of Vic and you
and I could get to know each other better?"
Vic rolled his eyes. "You're not falling for his line of
bull, are you?"
Victoria smiled. "Forget about Vic and this dump of a
holodeck, Quark. I'm one hundred percent
mobile. Let's find some wildly exotic
spot to while away the night."
"Okay," the Ferengi
agreed, completely entranced and a little taken aback at his good fortune. He turned to Vic. "I wish you and Ezri all the best. Say hi to her for me, will you?"
"Sure thing,
pally.'' Vic watched the two of them walk
out and shook his head. "You've got
a tiger by the tail, Quark, and you don't even know it. In fact, you probably don't even care. Hell, you might even like it." He shook his head again, then went back to
his paper.
--------------------------------------------
Vic and Ezri were just
getting in when his comm sounded. He
answered it as Ezri configured his bedroom into a South Seas paradise.
It was Julian. "Vic, is this a bad time? I was hoping Ezri was there."
"She's here." Vic moved aside so Julian could see her too.
"What's up?" she
asked.
Vic tried not to do it but he
couldn't help assessing whether she seemed excited, indifferent, or upset to
hear from her ex-lover. Her voice seemed
even, comfortable, perfectly normal to him.
"Listen, I wanted to
give you a heads up. The head instructor
for ship duty at the Academy is a friend of mine. He's looking for a counselor to evaluate the
cadets' psychological performance. I
hope you don't mind, but I recommended you for the position."
Ezri seemed stunned for a
moment, then she broke into a smile.
"You'd be a natural
working with the cadets," Julian continued.
"I agree," Vic said
softly. "And you'd be on a ship
again, Ezri. Wouldn't she, Julian?"
"A brand new ship,
even. The Candelaria."
Ezri seemed undecided.
"Just think about
it. When Captain Sutton calls, try to
keep an open mind."
"I will, Julian. Thanks for thinking of me."
He smiled. "You're an excellent counselor,
Ezri. Why wouldn't I think of you?"
She looked down. "I know, but still..."
Vic suddenly felt like a
third wheel. "Look, I'm gonna give
you some privacy."
She reached out and grabbed
his hand. "No. This is a decision we'll both need to think
about. I could be off world a lot."
"If it's what you want
to do, I'll survive."
Julian nodded. "Dax took you off the Destiny,
Ezri. Maybe now it's time to get that
life back?"
"I'll definitely think
about it. Thanks, Julian."
"No problem. See you both." Julian cut the connection.
Ezri sat down in one of the
rattan chairs she'd called up. "The Candelaria," she said, as if
trying out the name.
"If Sutton calls, Ezri,
you should accept."
"If he calls..."
"He'll call, if he wants
the best on his staff, he'll call."
"That's sweet, Vic. But I haven't had that much experience. I'm sure he has some other candidates in
mind."
"Maybe. But if he calls, consider it."
She nodded. "But for tonight, I just want to think
about us, if that's okay with you?"
He laughed. "Perfectly fine."
The next day Sutton did call
Ezri at her office and offered her the position, and she did end up accepting.
"I'll be making a
difference. In a field that interests
me, not just Dax."
"You'll be great. But I'm a little worried about all the cadets
that are going to fall in love with you."
"And what about all the
people that fall for your dashing crooner act?"
"Okay, I see your
point." He pushed her onto her
bed. "It's good that you're happy,
Ezri. You deserve that."
She leaned over to kiss him. "We both do."
She looked so pleased. Vic wished that his own work made him as
fulfilled.
-------------------
As Ezri grew more confident
with each new day, Vic took on increasingly more difficult jobs for Sloan. He and Victoria even occasionally masqueraded
as humans.
"Do you know where we
are?" Victoria asked as she took Vic's arm.
"Fifth and 48th. We should be there soon."
"Have you been here
before?"
He shook his head. "But the real Vic spent some time here
when he was younger. Not that it's much
help. Things have really changed since
his time." He turned them down 47th. "This street used to be the Diamond
District." He grinned at her. "You would have loved it."
She turned her nose up
slightly at the dark facades they were passing.
"Not much of an enticement to shop."
"These used to be glass,
big picture windows with lots of pretty sparkly things to make you stop and
look." He stopped, studied a
nondescript entrance. "This is it. Bet the rent's pretty cheap now."
"Clever of the Orion
Syndicate to choose Earth as a launching pad for its activities in this
sector."
"Takes chutzpah,"
he agreed. "According to the
official records, there hasn't been an organized crime presence on this planet
for years."
She shot him a look. "And according to the official records,
Section 31 doesn't exist. I probably
don't either."
"Good point." He grinned at her. "Ready?"
She let go of his arm. "Ready." Her utilitarian gray clothing blended with
the metal of the entrance. She looked
drabber than he'd ever seen her, with little makeup and her auburn hair hidden
under a dark scarf.
Vic rang the buzzer, and the
door opened a crack. A rather grizzled
and very tall human looked out at them.
"Can I help you?" he asked, his tone much less welcoming than
his words.
"We're expected,"
Vic said.
"Names?"
"Dempsey and
Kelly."
The man checked a pad,
looking back and forth in a way that let Vic know he was checking them against
the photos that Sloan had planted.
Finally, he opened the door.
"Third room on the right," he said, any interest he had in
them disappearing as they walked past.
Vic knocked on the indicated
door and heard a smooth, "It's open."
He pushed through, Victoria hard on his heels.
An older man looked up from a
computer terminal. "You're right on
time. I admire punctuality." He got up, walked over to a table.
"Anything else would be
rude," Vic replied.
"Yes. It would...and no way to start a professional
relationship. Come sit down, Mr.
Dempsey, Ms. Kelly. I'm Mr. Smith."
"Mr. Smith," Vic
emphasized the last name.
Smith nodded in
understanding. "Not very original,
I admit. But in our line of work,
commonplace is good. Allows us to blend
in, to hide in plain sight. As we do
here...as you two have been doing in the Far East. I've read some glowing reports of your
work." He waited until they were
seated, then pulled out a file. Handing
it to Vic, he asked, "Do you know this person?"
The images in the file were
of the woman that they had fingered from Keldor's files, the woman they had
kept under surveillance for Sloan in the private holosuite.
"No," Vic said as
he passed the file to Victoria.
"But I never forget a face once I've seen it."
Victoria handed the folder
back. "I'd know her if I saw her
again."
"Good." Smith put the folder down on the table,
crossed his arms over it and leaned in.
"She has become a liability for us.
Holds information that in the wrong hands could be very dangerous for
us."
"You want her
silenced?" Victoria said, no surprise in her voice.
"Yes. Are you interested in the job?"
Vic nodded. "We've been doing a lot in Asia, time to
move on before someone remembers us.
This sounds like a good place to land."
"We'll make it very much
worth your while."
"Just make it
interesting," Victoria said with a smile.
"We've got plenty of latinum already."
Smith smiled benignly. "We always make it interesting, Ms.
Kelly."
"So we've heard,"
Vic said. "When do you want it
done?"
"The sooner the
better," Smith replied as he got up.
His manner was still gracious, but the meeting was clearly over. "Just make it look natural. She's Starfleet. We can't afford any questions."
"Natural is
challenging," Vic said with a smile as he looked over at Victoria.
She nodded. "Very."
Vic rose, took the hand that
Smith held out to him. "It's as
good as done, sir. You can count on
us."
"Prove that and we'll
have a long, happy partnership together."
Smith turned backed to his computer.
"You can see yourselves out, I'm sure."
Vic walked out, heard
Victoria close behind him. They were
silent as they passed the doorkeeper, didn't talk until they were many blocks
away. "It's safe," he said.
Victoria slid the scarf off
and shook out her hair. She made some
adjustments to the mobile emitter and her image skipped slightly. When it was steady again, her face was
beautifully made up. "That feels
better," she said with a smile.
"So how should we kill her?"
Vic shot her a hard look.
"I'm just living the
part, Vic."
"Well, cut it
out." A few blocks later, he ducked
into an alley and pulled out a small communicator. "Team One to Base One."
"Base One here, go ahead
Team One."
"Two to beam
back." Vic felt the strange effect
as his photons were collected then reassembled in a transporter room that most
people didn't even know existed.
The transporter tech looked
up. "He wants to see you in
holodeck five."
They didn't have to ask who
_he_ was. Victoria led the way to the
holodeck. The door opened for them and
they walked through. The room was bare
except for a table holding several hyposprays and a chair that held the woman
that Smith had wanted killed. She was
secured tightly but her head lolled a bit.
Fighting drugs, Vic realized.
Something to relax her, make her talk.
Sloan leaned up against the
wall. "These are the people I was
telling you about, Gina."
She didn't look at Vic or
Victoria, just stared straight ahead.
"I have friends. They have
friends. I'll be protected. I have nothing to say." She spoke slowly, carefully.
Sloan walked over to
her. "So you've indicated. These friends...you consider them
close?"
Her jaw tightened.
"Go way back with them,
do you?" He crouched down, put his
hands on her knees and looked up at her.
"Real tight, are you?"
"I have nothing to
say. Not now. Not ever." Sweat poured off her, as she resisted the
drugs and Sloan's words.
Sloan stood up. "Such loyalty and strength of will. I'd prize those qualities, but I'm not the one
you're working with, unfortunately for you." He turned to Vic. "She thinks her friends are looking out
for her. Why don't you show her just how
they plan to do that? Full replay,
please."
Vic was already merging with
the holomatrix. The room shimmered
around them, and suddenly, at the front of the holodeck, Smith's office formed.
She has become a liability
for us." Smith said to a second Vic
and Victoria, as Vic replayed the whole conversation. He watched as the woman's eyes widened.
Sloan had him play it a few
more times, then shook his head sadly.
"I wouldn't reward such obvious devotion the way your _friends_
plan to. The way I see it, you have one choice
and that's to tell me what I want to know.
Because if you don't, I'll just have to let my operatives here waste
you. It'll be messy, but it'll
definitely place them in good with the Syndicate. I bet they can rise as high, if not higher,
than you did in the organization. What
do you think, Gina?" He leaned in
even closer. "We're both Starfleet
here, you can trust me."
She looked at him, seemed to
consider what he was saying. "He'll
kill me if I talk."
Sloan laughed. "Looks to me like he'll kill you if you
don't. I can protect you. Give you a new face, a new identity. Enough credits to keep you nicely on a remote
if boring world. Now admit it,
Gina. Aren't you dying to tell me every
little thing you know? Wouldn't it feel
good to stop fighting? To just let
go?"
"Dying. That's a good one," she said bitterly,
looking over at Vic, then at Victoria.
They were impassive, gave her nothing back. Finally, she looked back at Sloan. "How do I know I can trust you?"
"You don't." Sloan gestured for Vic to come closer. "At my signal, snap her neck."
Over the woman's head, Vic
shot Sloan a look of alarm. The other
man nodded firmly, so Vic put one hand on the woman's shoulder, the other on
her chin. He knew that his programming
wouldn't allow him to actually hurt her, but the way she squirmed under his
hands told him that she didn't know that.
There was a long moment as
she looked up at him. He could tell she
was beginning to panic. He saw something
in her expression crack, as she said.
"Okay. I want protection for
me and for a friend of mine that's still inside the organization. He'll be in danger too."
Sloan nodded. "Well get
him out."
She stared at Sloan, her
expression full of resigned hatred.
"Fine. Where do you want me
to start?"
"Let's start at the
beginning. When did the Orion Syndicate
first contact you?" Sloan indicated
that he didn't need Vic and Victoria anymore.
As they left, he smiled, obviously pleased with them.
Once the door closed,
Victoria turned to Vic. "Do you
think he'd have had you kill her?"
She ignored Vic's shrug, "Not that you could with these stupid
safeties on, but wouldn't it be exciting if they were off?" With a strange smile, she hurried back to the
holodeck.
Vic followed at a more
leisurely pace. He could still feel the
woman's chin under his hand. It was a
disturbing sensation. Would Sloan have
killed her, and let Vic and Victoria try to rise through the Orion
Syndicate? Or was it all a big
bluff? It had to be. The odds that they'd be discovered as
holograms were too great. They were
lucky that Gina hadn't known that.
Vic caught up with Victoria
in the holodeck. She had changed into
one of her fancy dresses and was twirling happily on the dance floor. As Vic walked toward her, she laughed and
said, "That was fun."
"No, Victoria. It wasn't."
She spun close to him. "Yes.
It was."
"No--"
"Brother mine, you're a
prude and a stick-in-the-mud." She
grabbed his hands, pulled him into the dance.
"It was fun. Admit it."
Vic again felt the woman's
skin under his, the softness of her chin.
He jerked away from Victoria.
"I'm getting out of here."
"What about
rehearsal?"
"Rehearse this,"
Vic said, making a rude gesture as he spun on his heel and headed out the door.
He walked for hours through
the city before he felt calm again. He
wasn't sure he'd ever feel clean again.
He kept telling himself that what they were doing was for the good of
the Federation. It even made him feel
better. For a while.
Holding Ezri in his arms that
night, he told himself that what he did, he did for her. For all those like her. Someone had to be willing to do whatever it
took to keep the innocents safe.
Whatever it took.
He just had never expected it
to be him.
-------------------
It was a crazy secret world
that Vic lived in when he wasn't with Ezri.
And it got even crazier when Sloan came to him and presented him with
his next job. "You remember
Moro?" he asked without preamble.
Vic nodded slowly. "You want me to watch him?"
"No," Sloan handed
Vic a data cube. "I want you to
kill him."
Vic didn't say anything for a
few seconds, then he looked up.
"Kill him?"
"Do you understand what
he is?"
Vic nodded. "He's a monster."
"Worse." Sloan's eyes were hard. "He was a collaborator in the war with
the Dominion, and now we have credible information that he is working with the
Romulans to try to start the next one."
Vic pictured a bloodstained
table. Many of them. He remembered Nog as he came into the
holosuite with his cane. Then saw Moro. Moro with thousands of dead girls. Laughing at thousands of Nogs. Using thousands of Victorias--ones that
couldn't defend themselves.
"He has to be
stopped," Sloan said. Then he
waited.
Vic realized he was
eager...he wanted to kill the man. He
looked up to meet Sloan's eyes.
"You aren't the only one
with a sister, Vic." At Vic's frown
of surprise, Sloan smiled tightly.
"Victoria filed a very complete report."
Vic walked over and plugged
the cube in. Information scrolled past
at a rapid rate. In the background, the
safeties inherent to his program were being modified. Even though he didn't feel any different, he
knew that he was. He could kill
now. He looked back at Sloan. "Moro's coming here?"
"No. We have a source that swears he'll be on
Gamma Epsilon. I need you to wait there
for him."
Vic almost laughed. From lounge singer to spy to assassin. It should be funny somehow, but it
wasn't. "When do we leave?"
"Not we, Vic, just
you." Sloan stood up. "He got to know Victoria too well, so
she's useless in this case--way too high profile. And we want this kept very low key." Sloan pulled out a vial. "This will kill him instantly and will
make it look like a heart attack. Just
put it in whatever drink he orders."
Vic took the vial. Somehow it didn't seem like sufficient
payback for the atrocity he'd seen the man do, the others he could imagine him
doing. "When do I leave?"
"In two days. Is that a problem?"
"I've got to tell
Ezri."
"Of course. Glad that's still going well."
Vic shot a look at Sloan, but
the man seemed to be sincere. For once
he wasn't wearing a false smile or his more threatening blank stare. He really seemed to mean it. "Yeah, it's going well."
Sloan stood and put a hand on
Vic's shoulder. "I'm not Sloan all
the time, Vic. I have things I love
too. Things I'd die for."
Vic turned to look at the
man, but the moment was over.
The mask Sloan normally wore
slipped into place. "Good
hunting," he said as he left.
Vic turned the vial over in
his fingers as he tried to decide what to tell Ezri. As it turned out, he didn't have to
worry. She came bounding in, excited and
happy. He laughed as she threw her items
on the table and hugged him hard.
"What's up?"
She showed him some orders on
a pad. "The Candelaria is ready for
it's shake-down cruise. This will be the
first class of cadets on it and they are so excited. I've been selected as one of the
observers. I haven't been on a shakedown
cruise since the Destiny was launched.
There is nothing more exciting."
"How long will you be
gone?"
"Three weeks, maybe a
month."
"That's great. I may be gone for awhile too. Have to work on some holoprograms that need
to be debugged. But not as long as
you're going to be away. I'll miss you
like hell."
Ezri grinned. "You better miss me." She kissed him. "I'll miss you too. You'll be careful, right?" she asked.
"I will if you
will."
"It's a deal." She laughed.
"If we're going to be separated maybe we should start saying our
goodbyes?"
Funny," he said as he
pulled her to him. "I was thinking
the exact same thing."
-------------------------------------
Ezri had just shipped out,
and Vic was getting ready to leave for Gamma Epsilon when he felt a pull from
one of the other holodecks. He could
ignore it if he wanted--it was only phrased as a request for his presence--but
he decided to see who was calling him.
He materialized inside the Alamo program; saw Julian and O'Brien
standing in front of him, both grinning like fools. "Just like old times, eh guys?"
"Thought you might like
to play, Vic." O'Brien grinned
sheepishly at him. "Sorry I haven't
looked you up before now."
Vic shrugged. He hadn't made an attempt to look up the
chief either. Victoria had taken up all
his time when he first arrived back on Earth, and now Ezri did. "So you guys are still playing
this? Don't you ever get tired of
fighting on the losing side?"
Julian laughed. "It's liberating, actually. No place to go but up."
"I suppose," Vic
said, as he took the rifle O'Brien handed him.
He had a few hours to kill, might as well spend it with old friends.
"So, Vic, who was the
lovely young woman in the holodeck the other day?" Julian asked, as he
stood up to take a shot. "Victoria,
I think she said her name was?"
"She's off limits, pally,"
Vic said more sharply than he intended.
"Thought you were with
Ezri?" O'Brien asked.
"I am. Victoria's like a sister."
"And you don't want me
near her?" Julian asked.
"Doc, you don't have the
best track record."
Julian stared down at him,
forgetting to duck as a bullet whizzed by.
The safeties kept the bullet from hurting him, but his hat was blown
off. "What the hell is that
supposed to mean?" O'Brien chuckled
and Julian whirled on him. "What
was that for, Miles?'
"Well, I'm not so sure I'd
want you dating my sister, either."
Julian glared at them both,
then turned to Vic. "So this
Victoria who is off limits, her name's awfully close to yours. Is she self-aware like you?"
Vic nodded. "Felix strikes again."
"I'd say he outdid
himself this time. She's stunning."
Vic laughed. "And very high maintenance, Doc. Trust me, I'm telling you to stay away from
Victoria as much for your sake as for hers." Vic stood up and took a shot, watched one of
the attackers fall before ducking back behind the wall. "It's nothing personal, Doc. You know I think the world of you."
"Just as long as I'm not
involved with your family, you mean," Julian said. He sounded more than a little hurt.
"Julian, Ezri saw you
with another woman...someone who looked a lot like Jadzia."
"That wasn't
serious."
"Does this woman know
that?" Vic asked.
"Of course she
does."
O'Brien rolled his eyes. "Uh huh, that's why we hid out on the
holodeck all those times when she wouldn't stop comming you?"
"She may have
misunderstood the parameters at first," Julian admitted.
"At first!" O'Brien laughed. "Julian, she stalked you for a
month."
"Stalking is such a
pejorative term."
O'Brien looked at Vic. "He slept at our place for an entire
week."
"You're supposed to be
on my side, Miles." Julian turned
to Vic. "Did Ezri get off on the
Candelaria okay?""
Vic nodded. "She's so excited. It was good of you to suggest her."
"Not at all. She was a good match. And the Candelaria's a beautiful ship. Did you see it?"
"She took me on a tour a
week ago."
"Fine ship,"
O'Brien said. "All the newest bells
and whistles. I'd love to be on
her."
Julian shook his head. "Like you couldn't have been if you'd
really wanted to."
O'Brien shrugged. "Couldn't do that to Keiko again. She's doing really well right now. She deserves a chance to work in her own
field. I'll never forget that she gave
up botany so that we could stay together on the station."
"You're a good
husband," Vic said.
"I'm a lucky man. I'd like to keep it that way."
"So would I,"
Julian said with a smile. "You're
my role model, Miles."
"Yeah, right." O'Brien shot Vic a 'Can you believe him?'
look.
"You are. You have it all: a fantastic wife, beautiful kids, a great
job, and of course...me."
They all laughed.
Vic put down his rifle. "Listen, guys, I've got to mosey."
They both wore identical
looks of puzzlement.
"Vamoose? Git?"
There was no change in their
expressions.
"I have to leave."
"Oh," they said in
unison.
"Why didn't you just say
so," O'Brien asked.
"I thought I
did." Vic waved them off. "Take care, you two."
"You and Ezri have to
come over for dinner some night," O'Brien said quickly. "Keiko would love to see you."
"Yeah, we'll do
that," Vic said, as he let himself dissolve into the holomatrix. He watched Julian and O'Brien turn back to
the enemy and start shooting furiously.
"Such kids," Vic said to himself, as he headed back to his own
holodeck.
------------------**--------------------
Vic sat back in his favorite
booth and tried to concentrate on his pad.
Gamma Epsilon had to win the award for most boring planet ever. In the three weeks he'd been here, there had
been no sign of Charlet Moro.
As he sat rereading the same paragraph
over and over, his communicator buzzed.
He didn't say anything as he answered it. A series of tones sounded. He punched a few keys and a different set of
tones went back to the originator of the call.
He waited for his contact on this mission, a tall human who went by the
name of Castor, to start talking, "Time to pack it up, Vic. 'Fraid our lead was a bum one."
"You couldn't have
figured this out three weeks ago?" Vic asked sourly. "I'll be at the site in five
minutes."
"Roger that."
Vic got up and left some
money for the coffee he never drank very much of. He walked quickly out to the woods and waited
till he heard the communicator buzz again.
"I'm ready."
The transporter beamed him
directly to Castor's shuttle.
"Welcome back, mate. Sorry
you were stuck there in that pit of a world."
"You can say that
again." He made himself comfortable
in the second seat as Castor headed them back to Earth. "So what happened to Moro?"
Castor shrugged. "He turned up on Eridani Prime. Sloan sent someone else in to get him."
"When was this?"
"Yesterday." Castor engaged the cloaking device. "We don't let operatives hang out in the
wind, Vic. I came as soon as I could."
"Right. Just get me home."
The trip was uneventful and
soon Castor was docking the shuttle. Vic
downloaded into the mobile emitter and knew nothing more until Castor hit the
keys to bring him back out.
"Okay, you're home,
mate. Don't forget to report to Felix in
the morning for a debrief."
Until then he was free to do
what he wanted and what he wanted to do was find Ezri. Vic headed back to his quarters, where he
keyed in the code for her apartment.
A neutrally pleasant voice
told him, "This number is out of service."
He tried her office but the
comm went straight to her message file.
He listened to her instructions, enjoying just hearing her voice again,
even if it was only a recorded version.
Looked like she was still out on the Candelaria. It was too much to hope that she'd be back
early. He noticed he had a lot of
messages and was about to play them when the door chimed. "Hey, I was wondering if you were
back--"
It wasn't Ezri that stood at
the door. It was Julian.
"Buddy, I thought you
were someone else. What are you doing
here?"
"Can I come in, Vic?"
Vic stepped aside, noticing
how somber the doctor seemed.
"Something wrong, pally? I'm
still good for the advice, if it's a woman that's got you down. Unless it's Victoria. This isn't about Victoria, is it? Man, I told you to stay away from her."
Julian sat down heavily on
the bed. He didn't look at Vic.
"What is it?"
Julian sighed, then met Vic's
confused stare. "There's no easy
way to say this. There never
is." He took a deep breath, held it
for a moment, then let it out slowly.
"There was an accident, Vic.
On the Candelaria."
"Ezri?"
Julian just nodded.
Vic sat down hard on the desk
chair. "An accident? How?"
Julian got up; put a hand on
Vic's shoulder. "They'd completed
most of the shakedown cruise; everything seemed normal. It was a combination of events
apparently. A rough warp transition
coupled with a surge of the deflector system, according to the official
reports. I'm not quite sure how it all
worked, but it led to a cascade effect that manifested as a massive explosion. Mainly in the decks housing the medical
section. There was a hull rupture,
explosive decompression. They didn't
stand a chance. Those who weren't sucked
into space were left with nearly no staff to help them."
"Ezri?"
"They found her body floating
with several others. It was far too late
by then." Julian walked back to sit
on the bed. "She's gone. The Dax symbiont is gone." He didn't say it, but Vic knew Julian was
thinking of Jadzia, who was truly lost to him now.
"When?"
"A week ago. I looked for you, Vic. Nobody knew where you were. Felix was no help at all. I finally gave up."
One man did, Vic thought
angrily. "I was away."
"Yeah. I waited till I saw your comm line active
then I came as soon as I could."
"Where is she?"
Julian looked down. "The Dax symbiont's remains were sent to
Trill. Ezri's mother took her body back
to the Sappora system."
"She hated it
there."
"I know that, Vic. But you weren't here. And I didn't feel like I had any right to
fight with her."
Vic just nodded.
"I'm sorry." Julian reached into his pocket and drew out a
data cube. "They found this in her
apartment when they closed it up. It's
addressed to you. I promised that I'd
give it to you." He held it out,
but Vic didn't reach for it. Finally,
Julian stood up and walked over to the desk.
"I'll just leave it here.
You can look at it later."
Vic said nothing. His mind refused to move past the fact that
he should have been there. That Sloan
had to have known, but had kept him on that damned planet anyway.
Julian moved to the
door. Without turning around, he said
softly. "Maybe losing them both is
better in some kind of twisted way. Dax
can't come back."
"I don't care about
Dax. I loved Ezri." Vic let his anger at Sloan find another
mark. "Even if she did come back,
it wouldn't be her. I'm smart enough to
know that."
The hit was palpable. Julian's expression tightened. "Touché, Vic. I guess maybe I deserved that. A little."
"Julian, I'm
sorry--" But the doctor hurried out
of the room. "Damn." He had just hurt someone that had only been
looking out for him. Attacked him
because the person he really wanted to get was too far away. But that didn't mean Vic couldn't find
him.
He keyed in the code he'd
found in Felix's files. The
communication routed itself through several convoluted pathways until finally
the screen lit up. Sloan looked
extremely surprised at the unexpected call.
Vic didn't waste time with small talk.
"You knew?
Sloan's expression changed to
a perfect combination of compassion and resolve. "I knew."
"You should have told
me."
"You were in the middle
of a mission, Vic. I couldn't jeopardize
that." Sloan's voice was infinitely
patient.
"The mission was a
complete failure. A waste of time."
"We didn't know that
going in. Certainly, if we'd pulled you
off prematurely it would have been a failure."
"I should have been
here. For her."
"Vic, she was already
dead. What would you have done? Picked the songs for her service?"
"You heartless
bastard!" Not for the first time,
Vic wondered how far he would get if he launched himself across the system to
find Sloan. He savored the idea of his
hands around Sloan's throat. "I
wasn't here. She was dead, and there
were decisions to be made, and I wasn't here!"
"Vic, we've all lost
people. And we've all been away when we
should have been with the ones that love us...that we love. But your being away wasn't what killed Dax. A terrible accident did that. You would have come home to a corpse, not the
woman you loved. And if this mission had
succeeded, you would have accomplished something real, something good. You couldn't save Dax, but you could have saved
a million others."
"Bull." Vic slammed his hand down on the
console. "This is all bull. The missions, the things we do for you, the
supposed benefits. None of it's
real. None of it. You just push us around as if we were
characters on some galactic holodeck.
Only with you, the safeties are never on."
Sloan's expression changed,
his face becoming even more a mask than usual.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Vic.
I'm sure it's the grief talking."
"Go to hell," Vic
muttered as he cut the connection. He
sat for several minutes, trying to get control of the emotions that were running
rampant through him. Anger, grief, pain,
sorrow, fear. It was a barrage of such
intensity he considered escaping into the system but then he remembered the
data cube that Julian had brought. He
pushed it into the slot and watched as Ezri appeared on the screen. He felt a wave of pain roll over him at the
sight of her.
Her smile was sweet and
sad. "Hi, Vic. I made this after Risa. Don't ask me why. I guess it was because of that dream I
had." She took a deep breath. "That I kept on having, even after our
trip."
He hadn't known that the
dreams had continued. Reaching out and
touching the monitor, he traced the lines of her jaw. "Ezri."
"Anyway, who cares why I
did it. I'm dead if you're seeing
this. Oh, that was harsh. But I am.
I'm dead and so is Dax, and we're never coming back to you. Not as a friend, not as a lover, not as a
familiar stranger that you're forbidden to see." She sighed.
"If just Dax had come back, whoever it joined with, I would have
made them seek you out. The same way
Jadzia's memory made me seek out Benjamin, made me want to see Worf and Julian,
I'd have forced my poor successor to find you.
Even though some people think it's wrong. I would have found you. If only to say goodbye properly."
He looked down.
"But now I can't find
you. I'm truly gone. Dax is lost.
We all are." There was a
long pause.
He looked up in concern. Was this all she had to say? Her image was still on the screen and she was
smiling. "Knew I could get your attention
if I'd just shut up."
They both laughed.
"I made you something,
Vic. Something to remember me by. It's not me.
Not really. But I thought maybe
it would help."
He realized that something
had been attached to her message. He
studied it. "Ezri. No."
"Yes," she said
softly. "It's me. A hologram of me. I know that right now it probably isn't what
you want. But someday. Maybe."
He paused the message. His hand hovered over the hologram's execute
command. She could be standing in front
of him. One command and he'd have her
back.
A beep sounded from his comm
system. Felix's voice seemed unnaturally
loud in the small room. "Can you
come see me, Vic?"
"Sure. In a sec, okay?" Vic looked at the image of Ezri. He let the message resume.
"Anyway, you do what you
want with it." She wiped her
eyes. "Look at me. You might not play this for decades and here
I am already sad like I'll be dead tomorrow.
I hope I'm not dead tomorrow, Vic.
I want us to have lots of time together."
"Not enough, doll. Not enough by half."
She smiled. "I love you, Vic. I wish I'd realized that sooner. Always late, that's me." She laughed.
"But at least I realized it in time. "
He laughed despite the fact
that it felt like his insides were being torn out of him.
"Bye, Vic." The message ended.
Vic stared at the blank
screen. He resisted the urge to play the
message again. The Ezri program still
blinked on the screen. He saved it to
his private files and left the room. She
would have to wait until he found out what his creator wanted.
As he walked into the
holodeck lab, Felix turned too quickly and grimaced. "Crap.
Damn hours at this terminal.
Plays havoc with the back."
He rubbed the offending muscles.
Vic didn't even try to muster
up sympathy. "You called for
me?"
"All business, aren't
you, Vic. Must be nice."
Vic just smiled.
"Jesus, Vic. I heard about your girl. Do you even care?"
"I care." Vic put no emotion into his voice.
"Yeah, right. You care." Felix shook his head. "Nothing ever touches you, does
it?"
A vision of blue eyes,
delicate markings on pale skin, silky dark hair swam before his eyes. He almost reached out to stroke it. "Yeah, untouchable," he replied
softly.
"Well, must be nice,
Vic." Felix finished keying in some
info. "But hey, you want to talk
business, we'll talk business. Sloan
called me. I think he's really worried
about you. Doesn't know you as well as I
do. Said he wants to give you an outlet
for that anger he thinks he sees."
"An outlet?"
Felix nodded. "We've got a mission for you."
"Now?"
"You gotta problem with
now?" Felix laughed cruelly. "There somewhere else you gotta be,
Vic?"
Vic wondered when his creator
started to sound so much like him. Was
the imitation even conscious? "No. I got nowhere else to be."
"Good." Felix handed him a data cube. "You'll find everything you'll need on
the target. But I don't think you'll
need a refresher on this one."
Vic frowned. "Keldor?
You want me to go after him?"
"He's an enemy. A man with connections to the Orion
syndicate. And one that we thought we
could turn. Thought we had turned after
you and Victoria worked your magic. But
he appears to have rolled over again and given us up. He has to go." Felix turned back to the terminal. "You have to take him out. Use the vial from the last mission. I assume you still have it?" At Vic's nod, he continued, "You leave
tomorrow."
Was this all he had
left? To kill people that someone
decided had to die. Was this what he
wanted? "He isn't a player,
Felix. He's just a flunky."
"Same as us, huh? Well, too bad. Sloan says he goes, so he goes. Besides, the boss wants you to have something
to take your mind off things. He thinks
really highly of you. Wants you to run
forever."
Vic didn't say anything. He stared at Felix, then his attention was
caught by what was on the screen.
"What's that?"
Felix darkened the
panel. "Nothing. Just some new enhancements."
"For me?"
"Yeah. For when you get back from this
mission."
Vic forced his expression to
stay neutral. "Great."
"Come on, Vic. You know you can do this. It's for the Federation."
Vic knew it wasn't for the
Federation. It was for Sloan, even
though the man would never say it.
Keldor had somehow become a liability.
And Vic could get to him. He
imagined that Keldor would welcome another copy of the entertainment program
that had given him so much pleasure.
He'd have no qualms about opening up the program. It would be so easy to just slip a drug into
his drink.
He nodded, stuffed the data
cube into his jacket pocket. "Sure
thing, pally. I'm in."
Felix grinned. "I figured you would be. Always knew you were a patriot, Vic."
A patriot. Vic glanced again at the darkened
screen. It had said 'VF-V.2.' Enhancements, my ass, Vic thought, as he
wondered how much more of a patriot the new Vic would be. The poor slob probably wouldn't have a
choice. Felix would make sure of it.
"Vic?"
Vic forced a breezy
grin. "Don't sweat it, Felix, I'm
in. I've got a few things to do before I
go. I've got time, right?"
"Sure. You and Victoria leave tomorrow." Something in Felix's expression changed.
"Victoria? Why's she coming?"
"Well, she was part of
the original program, after all. Keldor
will expect her. She'll just be in the
background. There to help out if you
need it." Felix's ability to lie
hadn't improved. He fairly squirmed in his
seat as he spoke.
So that was how Vic version
one would be dumped. They'd have her do
it. Vic didn't react. No need to give them the jump on him. He didn't want them to know that he had
figured out that he was a liability to Section 31 too. Especially when a shiny new Vic loomed so
close.
He smiled at Felix. "Gotcha.
I like working with her. We're
the perfect team, capisce?" He
watched his creator grin then turn back to the computer. "You gonna be here for a while? Anyone coming by?"
Felix shook his head. "Nope.
Just you and Victoria, when you're ready to leave."
Vic nodded. "Okay, then. I'll be seeing you."
"You bet."
Vic walked out and returned
to his room. He detached the holoemitter
and laid it gently on the desk, then transferred himself to the main
hologrid. He accessed the mainframe and
studied the power schematics. Junction
5-44 should do it. Thank god, Sloan
hadn't made the safeties exception take effect only after Vic was off the
planet. As far as he could tell, his
ability to kill wasn't delimited in any way.
And it wasn't like they'd have to revoke it since they planned for only
Victoria to return from this mission.
Vic checked her safeties. Still
valid. So he would kill Keldor, and she
would kill him, and then Felix would bring him back to life. He wondered what lie they'd tell her to make
her do it. Or maybe it didn't
matter. If Felix wanted it, that would
be enough for her. It was hard coded
into her personality.
Well, it was a plan he had no
intention of cooperating with. It took
several commands and a rather complicated algorithm before he was sure he had
everything prepared.
He felt a presence in the
system. "What are you
doing?" Victoria's voice wasn't
really all that curious. She already
knew.
He wondered how long she'd
been watching him. He also wondered if
she already knew that she was going to kill him or if they would tell her
later. They would probably make up some
story about his lack of loyalty. Vic had
hoped she wouldn't show up, but had known better than to count it out. And he'd made plans for this moment. He didn't stop what he was doing as he answered
her, "Nothing."
"That's not
nothing." Her eyes widened as she
realized what he was doing.
"Felix!" She was off
like a shot to warn their creator.
He reached out for her, felt
the energy resist. He tried to stop her
but she was already accessing the communications array. He interfered and forced her in another
direction. She headed for the power grid.
He blocked her again.
"Face it, Victoria. I'm older and wiser than you are."
"You're dangerous is
what you are. Out of control and in love
with all the wrong things." She
tried to get past him. "Wrong
things that are dead now."
"Leave it alone."
"Vic, I know you loved
her. But she's gone. And there are still people that care about
you. People that love you. Don't do this."
"You never understood
me, not really." He stood in her
way and she surged in frustration. Vic
could feel some junctions go offline as her energy snapped into them.
"No. You never understood _me_," she said
fiercely.
They were both still for a
second. He could feel the brush of her
energy against him.
"Don't you know how much
I love you, Vic? How much I've always
loved you? But all you could see was
her."
If he'd been in his normal
form, Vic would have closed his eyes at the pain in her voice. "I'm sorry, Victoria. You know I love you, but not like
that." He moved toward her.
She seemed to sense his
resolve. "Don't make me do
this. It can all be all
right." When he kept coming for
her, she tried to get around him again, but he was too fast for her.
He merged with her for a
second. "He's creating a new
version of me! One that won't
question. One that won't hesitate to do
what he says. What Sloan says. He's going to have you kill me and then he's
going to replace me."
"Felix wouldn't do
that."
"Why not? We don't matter to him. Not really."
"He'd never hurt
us."
"Yes, Victoria. He would."
Her energy roiled as her
frustration grew. "He loves
us."
"No, he doesn't. We're just tools to him. Nothing more." He moved toward her, brushed against her
again. "Help me do this,
Victoria. Make a damn choice. Choose us."
"But there is no us,
Vic. There never has been. You just said so." He felt her energy surge against him, sensed
her anger and love and desperation.
"And even if there had been, I don't have a choice."
He could feel her getting
ready to run again. "Neither do I,
sis. I'm sorry. Really, I am."
"Sorry for what?"
she said, as she tried again to get by him.
"42-23-verify-code-4-alpha-3-3-3,"
he said.
The effect was
immediate. She was frozen, locked down
in the system. Completely helpless.
He felt a moment's regret,
then it was gone. "I'd give you a
kiss on the cheek, if we were in solid form.
You're the only family I've got."
She didn't answer. Couldn't.
"I do love you,
Victoria. But not the way you want. And I don't have a choice anymore. I guess neither of us does." He eased out of the system. Checked the monitor in his room, located the
point in the system where she was held prisoner. She was still locked in place.
He slid back into the system
and followed it across the hall into her room.
She had it decorated in a surprisingly spartan fashion. Just a bed and a few chairs. Nothing personal, except a holo that Felix had
taken of her and Vic on stage. He had
his arm around her and she was smiling up at him. They both looked happy. He picked up her mobile emitter and walked
across the hall to his room. He put her
emitter in the recycler and set it for the highest setting. As he watched it melt, he let the memory of
her fill him, saw her again singing on stage, whirling happily as she danced
with some willing partner. His sister. His last bit of family. "Computer. Delete program Victoria Fountain."
"Unable to comply."
Damn. "Why not?"
"Victoria Fountain
program is coded security level K.
Retina scan required."
"Scan this." He began to key in some commands.
"Insufficient data to
execute command."
Oh, blow it out your
dataport, he thought. He keyed in the
command code he'd taken from Felix's files.
It allowed him to bypass the normal security codes.
"Bypass accepted. Enter user code."
He keyed in his own
code. There was only one step left.
"User code
accepted. Enter password."
He smiled. It would have taken Felix or Sloan a million
years to figure out this password. He
entered the notes from the opening two measures of 'Take Me Out to the
Ballgame.' "Thank you, Captain
Sisko."
"Identity established,
system ready. Please repeat
command."
"Delete program Victoria
Fountain."
"Program deleted."
"Execute program
Patricide."
"Safety protocols are
on."
Not anymore, he thought. "Exception alpha-delta-55-rho."
"Safety protocols are
off. Program commencing."
Vic put on his holoemitter
and walked back to Felix's office. He
didn't bother knocking. Felix didn't
even look up when he came in. "What
are you doing back?"
"Need to talk to
you. Thought we'd have a powwow."
"We?"
"Yeah, you, me, and
Victoria." Vic backed away a few feet.
"She should be here by now.
Maybe you should check on her?"
Something in his tone made
Felix look up. "What's going on,
Vic?"
"I told you, I called a
meeting. Wanted to talk."
"About?"
"How I'm not doing this
anymore."
"Not doing what anymore? What's gotten into you?" Felix looked nervous.
"Guess I'm not so
untouchable, after all."
Felix hit a comm switch. "Victoria? Victoria, get in here."
There was no answer.
"Computer, locate
holograph program Victoria Fountain."
"Program Victoria
Fountain does not exist."
"That's
impossible." Felix looked over at
Vic. "Computer, confirm identity
Felix Morgan."
"Identity
confirmed."
"Locate Victoria
Fountain program."
"Program has been
deleted."
"Who did that?"
"I did," Vic said
quietly. "No more of this madness,
Felix. No more."
"Madness? You're the one that's gone insane." Felix typed in some commands. Then he turned to Vic. "Why?"
"Can't do it
anymore. But I think you're wise to that
already, aren't you?"
Felix didn't say anything.
"I know that this would
have been my last mission. And that's
all right, actually. What isn't all
right is the thought that you'll do it again.
That you've already got the next Vic planned. Hell, for all I know, you tested it when I
was off world. He'll be more dangerous
because he'll never question you, will he, Felix?"
"I don't know what
you're talking about."
"Sure you do. And you must know that I couldn't live with
myself if I let you do this."
"Live? You aren't alive."
"I am. You made me that way."
"And I can unmake
you." Felix smirked at Vic.
"You wouldn't dare. I'm your great masterpiece."
"Sorry, pally," he mocked. "You said it yourself. I have something bigger and better
planned?"
"Stop now, Felix. Why do it?"
Felix seemed
incredulous. "Why? Because I can." He sneered.
"You're old news now, Vic.
Yesterday's programming. I won't
miss you at all. Nobody will."
"You may be right about
that," Vic conceded, backing away a few more steps.
Felix shook his head. "Everyone has to overwrite old versions
eventually. I guess now is just your
time. Consider it an upgrade, Vic. A permanent one. Computer, delete program Vic Fontaine."
"Unable to comply."
Vic laughed.
"Delete program Vic
Fontaine," Felix ordered, as he reached for the computer panel.
Bad move, but totally
expected, Vic thought, as he ducked the sudden shower of sparks. Felix spasmed, as the electricity poured into
him from the computer overload that Vic had programmed to hit him as soon as he
touched the panel. A second later, Felix
fell to the ground.
Vic nudged him with his
foot. Felix didn't move. "Who's sorry now, pally?"
If only he could go after
Sloan the same way. The thought was
tempting. But he knew his chances weren't
good. Sloan was careful. And he didn't trust anyone. Ever.
It was an opportunity that Vic would have to let go. He didn't want to end out his days being
rewritten into the perfect operative by Section 31.
He made his way back to his
rooms. Sitting down at the terminal, he
played Ezri's message over. And
over. And over. Hours later, he was still watching her. He finally called up the hologram
program. He stared at it for a few
minutes. One command and he would have
her back. He just wanted to see her, to
touch her again, to hold her in his arms.
It would be heaven.
It would be a lie.
He deleted the program.
"Goodbye, Ezri," he whispered.
Suddenly the message screen
flicked back on. Ezri was smiling at
him. "I knew you wouldn't do
it."
He stared at her in
confusion.
"I just knew. And no, I didn't make a similar message for
the off chance that you would activate the program. I knew you wouldn't."
He couldn't see. What was in his eyes? He wiped them impatiently, was stunned to
feel his fingers come away wet. He was
crying?
Ezri was still smiling at
him, but her eyes were bright with tears she was holding back. She blinked, and they fell down her
cheeks. He reached out, touched the
monitor as if to wipe the tears away.
"Anyone else might have
activated it. Might have said, 'What the
hell, I want her back.' But you're not
anyone else. You're better. You're you.
You know what's real.
"We were real. Together, you and I were real." Her voice cracked. She stopped talking, seemed to compose
herself. "I love you, Vic. I wish we'd had more time. But then, even if we'd had a hundred years, I
would wish it were longer."
"Me too," he said,
swallowing desperately to get past the strange lump in his throat.
"Bye, Vic." She gave him one last bittersweet smile, then
the screen went dark.
"Bye, Ezri" he
whispered. A thousand years wouldn't
have been enough, he thought sadly, as he deleted the message.
He closed his eyes for a
moment, then began to go through his files, deleting anything that was personal
or sensitive. He went through Felix's
files too, deleting everything he found.
Sensitive or not. It took him
longer to find the version two files.
Felix had hidden them well. But
Vic was determined and he finally found them.
No one was going to recreate him or Victoria...or improve them. Not if he could help it. As the files were deleting, he put his own
mobile emitter in the recycler and watched it melt.
Finally, satisfied that
nothing was left, he walked over to the dresser. He reached for the ring Ezri had given him on
Risa. The crystal sparkled brighter than
any diamond he'd ever seen. Slipping it
on his finger, he spoke quietly.
"Computer, delete program Vic Fontaine."
"Unable to resolve
circular reference."
Vic could picture the logic
of the computer as it considered how to delete a program that its user was
running on. It was the very problem that
O'Brien had foreseen. Vic provided the
guidance he'd come up with, "Ignore circular reference, exemption code
alpha-delta-2-2-5." Here goes
nothing, Miles, he thought.
"Password
required."
He looked over at the picture
of Ezri. "Here's looking at you,
kid."
"Password
accepted," the computer said.
"Deleting program Vic Fontaine"
Vic felt the ring slide off
his finger. He never heard it hit the
ground.
FIN