DISCLAIMER: The Justice League of America
characters are the property of DC Comics. The story contents are the creation
and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2005 by Djinn. This story is Rated
PG-13.
Trinity Schminity
by Djinn
"Can you take Monitor
duty on Friday?"
Diana looked up to see Bruce
watching Kal and her hopefully.
"What? You've got a hot date?" Kal laughed and got up. He poured out three glasses of milk, then checked the cabinet they usually stashed their goodies
in. "Hey, someone took our
cookies."
"I hid them in the
vegetable drawer," Bruce said.
"Always
the paranoid obsessive." Kal dug around till he found the cookies, then tossed them to Diana to open.
"When I want cookies, I
want cookies. I don't want to sit here
bemoaning our lack of cookies. Which is what you two do every single time Wally goes on a sugar
run through the kitchen and eats them all." Bruce took a deep breath. "Now, will one of you work Friday for
me?"
"You didn't answer his
question. Why?" Diana asked.
"I have a
fundraiser. I have to go."
"Alone?" She tore the cookies open too
forcefully. Vanilla sandwich creams
scattered across the table.
"No, I'm taking one of
the boring socialites I always go with."
"Which
one?" Kal asked. "A blonde?" He winked at Diana.
"A
redhead."
Diana tossed the ruined bag
into the trash and snagged the nearest cookie, opening it and eating only the
side that had frosting.
"I hate it when you do
that," Bruce said, eating his cookie without prying it open.
"I know. It's why I do it." Which wasn't true. She just liked the frosted side better, but
tonight she was in the mood to irritate him.
"If they meant for you
to tear it apart, it wouldn't be called a sandwich."
"Bruce, it's her
cookie. She can eat it how she
wants." Kal shot her a smile that
was way too warm for a married man to give her.
Bruce sighed loudly. "Will you two just get a room and work
this out of your system?"
"And here I was going to
offer to take Friday duty for you."
Kal shrugged. "But if you're
going to be mean..."
"You know," Diana
said, thrusting the uneaten unfrosted cookie half at Bruce, "you are
uncomfortable with flirting."
"No. I am fine with flirting. What I am uncomfortable with is you two
flirting."
Kal laughed and turned to
Bruce, holding out a cookie as if it was the original apple. He batted his eyelashes. "So it's okay if I flirt with you?"
Bruce just ignored him.
Putting the cookie in his
mouth, Kal leaned forward, the end sticking out, available for Bruce to bite
into. "Cmn, Brc, gv
it uh twy."
Reaching for a new cookie,
Bruce said, "That's not alluring,
"He's not. If he were, we'd be able to understand him
better." Diana unscrewed another
cookie, thinking on all the lessons her mother had taught her: swordsmanship,
swimming, archery, hand-to-hand. "I
don't think my mother ever told me that rule."
"Amazons aren't known
for their table manners, love," Kal said as he finished up his cookie of
temptation.
"I haven't seen anyone
complaining. Are you complaining?"
Both Kal and Bruce held their
hands up in the universal "We're not complaining" sign.
"Okay then."
She was about to reach for
another cookie when Wally sped in, one big red blur. As one, all three of them threw themselves
over the cookies.
Wally slowed enough to be
fully visible. "Hey, I looked for
those earlier." He turned a baleful
eye on Batman. "You hid them,
didn't you?"
"Why would I hide food
from a trusted colleague?"
Wally tried to reach in, but
three identical death-glares stopped him.
"Man, you and your damned trinity.
Whatever." He shouted into
the other room. "Mom and the dads
won't share their windfall. I'm making a
Starbucks run. Who's in?"
As he sped out, Diana heard a
chorus of, "I'll take a grande skinny
cappuccino" and "Make mine a chai
latte."
"A
mocha sounds good. Or maybe one of those white chocolate
drinks?" Diana loved white
chocolate.
"He'll make you trade
him cookies for it," Kal said, handing her another one.
"We could get a machine
up here," Bruce said, "You could both learn to make specialty
coffees. A skill that might serve you
well the next time you lose your powers.
You could be gainfully employed instead of expecting me to bail you
out."
"Ha ha
ha," Kal said, but the look he shot Bruce was a
little hurt.
"I'll do
fine." Diana grinned at them
both. "Next time, I'm going to pose
nude for lots of money."
"No, you're
not." Kal actually seemed worried.
"Which
magazine?" Bruce looked as if he was making a mental
note to go buy it when her issue came out.
Kal gave him a
Superman-special look of disappointment.
"What? The rest of the world can see her, but I
can't?" Bruce's tone was
surly. "Just because you can sneak
a look at her anytime you want."
"Oh, like you haven't
planted a camera in the women's changing room," Diana said. "And I haven't decided which magazine. I'm going to let them get into a bidding war
over me."
"Very shrewd."
"I'm uncomfortable with
this conversation," Kal said. But
he really only looked put out at the thought he'd have to share her with the
world.
"I'm sure you are, Stupes," Bruce said.
Something abut hearing one of
Plastic man's names for Kal coming out of Batman's mouth almost made Diana spew
milk and cookie remnants all over the table.
She got herself under control and pushed out of the chair. "Well, I better go. Big day tomorrow."
"Dinner with the
president? Interview with the
Times? Big sale at Henry Bendels?"
Bruce smirked at her.
"No, I'm going to the
Ivory Coast. The situation's getting
bad."
"You want
help?" Kal looked over at Bruce,
who nodded slowly. "Six hands are
better than two."
"In many
situations," Bruce said, managing to keep a straight face.
"Yes, I'd like your
help." She whapped Bruce between
the pointy ears on his cowl. "And
stop that."
He looked up at her. "What?"
She laughed as she let her
hand drop to his shoulder. "You two
promise the world and never deliver."
With a wink, she added, "When it comes to that."
Bruce gave her a complacent
smile.
She couldn't help but return
it--he smiled so rarely that when he did, he was impossible to resist. "So, we'll meet up here tomorrow? Make a united entrance?"
Kal nodded. It was what they always did.
Bruce let his hand rest on
hers for a moment, then he let go.
"See you tomorrow."
As she turned, Kal said,
"Diana, heads up."
She caught the cookie he
tossed her. It was the last one. Opening it with a smile, she threw the
unfrosted part back to him. "Thanks."
"Some things we deliver
on," Kal said, his eyes sparkling.
---------------
Central Park sounded like the
middle of the Amazon. Roars, howls, and
other animal cries echoed up to the hilltop they had fought so hard to reach.
"So how many of these
were-beasts do you think there are?"
Kal looked down at the line of unconscious were-jaguars and were-foxes
and other were-oddities that lay strewn in their wake. "I mean this is getting ridiculous. It's broad daylight. Don't these guys need a full moon or
something?"
"Well, obviously they
don't if they're changing now. Just don't
get bit, Clark. All we need is a
were-Kryptonian." Bruce knocked a
were-elk out with a silver club.
"You better be
careful. You could kill something with
that," Kal said, rendering another were-jaguar unconscious with a
well-timed kick.
"Yes, that would be a
tragedy," Bruce said as he clubbed the elk's mate. "Diana, how are you doing?"
She mixed up the last of the
potion that Zatanna had told her to make. "I don't think I should be the one doing
this, Bruce. You're the brains of our
trinity. Isn't that what you like to
tell us?"
"It is. And I am.
But Zatanna was quite specific that it needed
to be an unnatural creature who invoked the spell for it to reverse the curse
on these people."
"Sure," Diana
muttered, as she mixed some stinky extract into the brew. "Now I'm an unnatural creature."
Kal giggled between blows,
and Bruce muttered, "You know what I meant by that."
"Oh, I do. Kal's the brawn; you're the brains. I'm just the freak." She shook the potion up. "There is no way I'm drinking
this."
"Pour it on the
altar."
She was already doing
that. "I was teasing you,
Bruce."
"You know he doesn't
know from teasing, Diana."
"I know. But I keep hoping he'll invent a
bat-sense-of-humor along with his other gizmos."
"I have a sense of
humor. It's just more evolved than
either of yours." Bruce struggled
to keep the snapping jaws of a were-monkey from closing on his arm. "Diana, haven't you finished yet?"
"It's done." She pulled the spell Zatanna
had written down for her out of her cleavage.
The ink was a little blurred from her sweat. "I don't have to say this backwards, do
I?" she asked, as a were-squirrel broke through the line and launched
himself at her. She caught him with her
bracelet, his teeth crunching uselessly on the amazonium
before she knocked him away.
"Just read the damn
spell, Diana." Kal sounded
unusually peeved.
She glanced over, saw that he was holding off an entire pack of
werewolves. "By the will of the
changer, undo all. By the will of the
mother, give back all. By the will of
the trickster, harm to none."
The noise died down, and the
embarrassed murmurs of a lot of suddenly naked people could be heard.
"Well," Kal said,
as he quickly turned away from the pack of nude people. "That went well, I think." Walking over to her, he smiled strangely.
"What?"
"You've got some ink,
right...there." He pointed to her
cleavage.
She tried to wipe it off, had
to resort to spit to get her skin clean.
She looked up and realized that Bruce and Kal were both watching her in
rapt fascination. "Maybe I should
have let you two do this?"
They both looked away with varying degrees of guilt on their face.
"Yeah. That's what I thought." She chuckled as she took them by the
arms. "Do I have to check either of
you for bites?"
They both mumbled something
that was clearly a "no."
It was a cinch they didn't
need to check her. Her costume didn't
leave much to the imagination.
"So? Ice cream?" she asked.
"That sounds good,"
Kal agreed.
"I am not strolling into
an ice cream shop dressed like this."
"Bruce. There's a vendor just ahead. I think he may have been the were-squirrel I
just beaned, but that's okay." Diana gave Bruce's arm a shake. "Live a little."
"That's probably what Moricius said to all these were-things."
"You really do need an
attitude adjustment," Kal said, bounding ahead. "Ice cream's on me."
"Where do you suppose he
keeps that?" Bruce asked, as Kal pulled a twenty out from somewhere.
"I have no
idea." She decided not to tell
Bruce that Kal had an emergency pocket in his right boot.
Bruce shot her a look, then
glanced down at his foot. His right
foot.
She smiled. There wasn't much the trinity didn't know
about each other.
---------------
"I think the planet is
perfectly safe," Bruce said, as he lay down on the ground and stared up at
the clouds. "Don't you feel
good?"
Kal threw himself on the
ground next to Bruce. "I feel
great." He grabbed a long piece of
grass, putting it in his mouth and sucking contentedly.
Diana stared down at them,
feeling a wave of intense love for both of them. "You're my best friends."
"I know," Bruce
said. "Isn't it great?" He reached up and pulled her down.
Diana giggled as she landed between
them. "J'onn. Join us."
She could hear his telepathic
alert going up to the rest of the JLA.
*Do not teleport down!*
*Problems?* Arthur asked.
*You might say that. I'm talking samples of the air. I appear to be unaffected. Must be my Martian physiology.*
*What are you talking about,
J'onn,* Bruce said into the link. *I
feel just ducky.*
Wally's mind-voice was
stunned. *Was that Batman who said
that?*
*Now you understand the
enormity of the problem.* J'onn leaned over them. *I'll be back as soon as I can with a
remedy.*
*Remedy for what?" Kal
said, grabbing another long piece of grass and putting it in Bruce's
mouth. Then he looked down at Diana.
"Hello, gorgeous."
"Hey, who are you
calling gorgeous?" Bruce asked, then he looked over. "Oh, you were talking to her." He leaned over her. "You are beautiful, Diana. I love you."
She laughed. This was the best mission ever. "I love you guys, too."
They both leaned down--she
thought to kiss her--but they bumped heads.
"Hey, watch what you're
doing, Clarkie."
Bruce stared at Kal. "You
know. You have the bluest eyes. Just like Diana's. They're really pretty."
"Yours are pretty
too." Kal moved closer. "Are your lips soft?"
Diana coughed until they
looked down at her. "I think you
were headed my way?"
"Oh yeah." Bruce smiled and started back to her, then
seemed to lose momentum. He fell
backwards, landing on the grass with a slight thud. "I love it here. Let's never leave."
"Okay," Kal said,
as he began to slowly run his fingers down Diana's leg. "I love you, Diana."
"You can't love
her. I loved her first." Bruce looked over at her and winked. "Remember that kiss on the island?"
She nodded.
"Remember that kiss when
I thought we were going to die?"
She nodded again.
Kal was scowling. "How many kisses did he get?"
"Just two," she
said, then she gasped as Kal's fingers went places they shouldn't.
"Hey, stop
that." Bruce reached over to grab
Kal's hand away, but bumped her chest on his way down--he stopped, staring
happily. "You have fantastic
breasts."
"Thanks." She looked down, gave them a little push from
the sides. "They just sort of grew
that way."
"Well, they're
spectacular." Bruce leaned down and
began to kiss the armor that covered her spectacular breasts.
"They are, aren't
they?" She looked at Kal who had
followed his fingers down and was doing very naughty things to her. "I don't think Lois would like it that
you're doing that."
"Well, let's not tell
her then." Kal giggled.
"I'm going to tell
her. Lois!!!" Bruce yelled right
into Diana's chest.
"She's not in there,
Bruce." Diana took a deep breath,
then sat up, pushing Bruce off her chest.
He collided with Kal, and the
two men stared at each other. Then they
started to kiss. She stroked their hair
as they did.
"I am sorry to
intrude," J'onn said. His green
skin seemed a little pink around the edges.
Bruce and Kal pulled away
from each other as Diana said, "Hey, J'onn's
back. Hi J'onn."
"This is the best planet
ever," Kal said happily.
"Well, that remains to
be seen," J'onn said. "I want
you to know I disabled the recorders."
"You can record us. We don't care, do we?" Bruce took both their hands and brought them
to his lips. "These are my best
friends, and I'll go on record as having said that."
J'onn handed them each a
small vial. "Drink this."
"Cool. Aperitifs," Bruce said, sipping the
drink as Kal threw his back in one swallow--following it with a
super-belch. "Wow, that was so
rude,
J'onn grabbed it back. "No, you need to finish it all at once,
Bruce."
"That's a waste of good
booze, my friend. But okay." He drank it down, and let out a little belch
of his own.
"You guys are
disgusting." Diana giggled as she
followed Bruce's lead, draining the vial and handing it back to J'onn. She felt a belch coming on, but stifled it. "You're our best friend too, J'onn."
"Yes. That's nice." He sat down, watching the three of them.
Diana began to feel
strange. A wave of dizziness passed over
her, then she looked up slowly.
"Did we...?"
"We did." Kal looked over at her.
Bruce was staring fixedly at
the ground. "Just ducky?" he
muttered. Then he pulled the grass stalk
out of his mouth and ripped it into tiny pieces.
"Okay, we have a mission
here, people," Kal said, and Diana shot him a grateful look. "Let's get to it."
J'onn nodded. "I've given the others a precautionary
dosage. Our mission can proceed as
scheduled."
"Excellent," Bruce
said, his voice squeaking slightly. He
tried again. "Excellent." It was the voice that struck terror into
criminals everywhere. "I'll work
alone," he said, walking away swiftly.
"Bruce?"
Kal stopped her. "Let him go, Diana." Then he let go of her too. "We'd probably all better work
alone."
She watched him walk away,
then turned to J'onn. "This is not
good."
"They'll be
fine." He put a hand on her
shoulder. "They're just embarrassed
about that kiss."
"I thought you said the
recorders were off?"
"They were. But we were still linked." J'onn was decidedly pink. "I'll see you later, Diana."
As he walked off to join the others
who were just teleporting down, she saw them throw curious looks her way. She didn't think they'd still been linked
too.
She hoped not anyway. It was the last thing their little trinity
needed.
-----------------------
They sat eating cookies. The conversation was strained, as it had been
since their adventure on the planet a few weeks back.
"We ever going to talk
about this?" Kal asked into the silence.
"Nope." Bruce bit into his cookie with a crunch that
pronounced that was his final answer.
"I think we
should." Kal looked over at
Diana. "Don't you think we
should?"
She shrugged. "I've always known you both liked my
boobs." Grinning, she tore apart a
cookie.
"That's not what I
mean." Kal looked over at Bruce,
his expression a bit helpless. "We
kissed."
"That was the effect of
the euphoric compound in the atmosphere.
Once we had the antidote, we did not kiss. End of story." Bruce did not look up, was in fact playing
with his cookie.
When he unscrewed it, Diana
reached over and touched his hand.
"It's okay to be attracted to him."
"Hey, he kissed me, not
the other way around."
"Well, then it's okay
for him to be attracted to you."
Kal shot her a look. "I didn't say I was attracted to
him."
She sighed. "Okay then. You both thought it was me, and went for
it. Only to realize your mistake
later."
"I like that
version," Bruce muttered.
"Well, I don't. Lois already thinks I'm cheating on her with
Diana."
"So it's better that you
were kissing me?" Bruce slammed down the torn apart cookie.
Diana snagged the piece with frosting and savored it slowly. "I think you're both making way too
much out of this. It was a weird day; we
did odd things. I'm sure under normal
circumstances you wouldn't admire my chest, Bruce. And Kal, you wouldn't go exploring under my
uniform."
They both gave her an irritated look.
"Well, that was me
trying to help. See if I do that
again." She leaned back. "I hate how this has changed
things."
"It hasn't changed
things." Kal bit into a cookie and
washed it down with the last of his milk.
Getting up, he refilled their glasses.
"We're just..."
"Uncomfortable,"
Bruce finished for him.
"Yeah? Well, get over it," Diana said. "We'll have a mission soon, and I want
to know you'll be there when I need you, not spazzing
over some stupid kiss." She gave
them both very firm looks. "You're
grown men. Comfortable with your own
sexuality. If you kissed, you
kissed. No. Big.
Deal."
"Right."
"Okay."
Neither sounded
convinced. Giving up, Diana concentrated
on her cookie. They'd get over this
eventually. They had to.
----------------------
The battlefield was littered
with bodies. Diana charged ahead,
determined to reach the machine that was laying waste to so much life.
"Diana, no!" Kal's voice was lost in her rush.
She deflected the first bolt
with her bracelets, dodged the second.
Then she was at the target, leaping up, but a third bolt caught her in
the chest, glancing off her armor and the bracelets she brought up barely in
time. She went reeling backwards, landing hard enough to knock the wind out of
her.
"Diana!" Kal charged past her. She saw him barrel into the machine. He crushed it in two blows. If there was anyone inside it, they were dead
now.
He had killed. For her.
He seemed to realize what
he'd done. Appeared to be trying to see
inside the machine. "There must be
lead. I can't see..."
Green Lantern pushed past
him, opening the machine as if it was a tin can. There was no one inside. Kal seemed to slump in relief.
"Lie still," Bruce
said, as he checked her out.
"I'm okay."
He nodded, but she could tell
he was just humoring her.
She stopped his hand as he
explored her side. "Bruce. I'm all right."
He held her hand firmly; his
lips were pressed together so tightly they were practically white.
"I'm all right,"
she whispered again. "That was
stupid. I lost my head."
"You nearly lost it for
real, Diana," Kal said, as he knelt down next to her.
"Ribs, lungs,"
Bruce said, in the triage shorthand they'd all perfected.
Kal looked her over with his
super-vision. "Lungs are fine. Ribs are a mess though. You were lucky, Diana." He was holding her hand tightly too.
"A few hours on the healing
ray and I'll be fine." She saw Kal
look over at Bruce, and squeezed both their hands. "You guys are overreacting. Now help me up." She looked up, saw John watching them closely
as he destroyed the rest of the machine with his lantern ring.
They got her to her feet, and
she tried to walk normally, despite how much it hurt. As injuries went, this was painful but not
that dangerous. Slowing so it hurt less,
she said to Kal, "You didn't know that thing was unmanned."
"No, I didn't, and I
didn't care right at the moment."
She swallowed hard.
Bruce's hand tightened on her
side, and she glanced at him.
"Ouch."
"Sorry." He eased up immediately.
She shook her head. "My
boys. What am I going to do with
you?"
"Probably what you
always do with us," Bruce said, and he sounded a little bitter.
She turned to him, saw him
look away. Sighing she didn't press him.
He wanted her; she knew that,
but she didn't think he'd ever reach back if she did reach out.
She glanced at Kal. He was watching them, a frown growing on his
face. He looked like he hoped Bruce
would leave well enough alone--forever.
----------------------
Bruce glanced up into the
stands where Kal sat watching them spar, a dejected expression on his
face. "What's wrong with him?"
Diana shook her head, never
taking her eyes off Bruce's hands.
"Lois is mad at him."
"What he do this
time?" Bruce smiled. "Or what did you do?"
"I had nothing to do
with this." She waited for him to
feint, but he didn't move. Sparring with
him was nothing like sparring with Kal.
Bruce made her work for each punch, using strategy to get her off her
feet rather than brute strength.
"Is he moping?"
"Does he do anything
else when she's mad at him?"
He laughed, and she smiled at
the sound. "Do you like him,
Diana?"
"He's my best
friend."
"That's not an
answer. I know you love him. Do you like him?"
She smiled. "Most of the time. When he gets like this...eh?" She shook her hand. It clearly meant "not so much."
Kal let out a super-sigh. They could hear it from where they were
circling each other. Bruce looked at
her, then stood up from his fighting stance.
"Bail out time?"
she asked with a gentle smile.
"I can't stand it when
he gets like this," Bruce said, as he leaped into the stands.
Kal perked up. "Hi, guys."
"What's the trouble,
He glared at Bruce. "I just heard your entire
conversation." He included Diana in
his glare. "I know you know Lois is
mad at me."
"What'd you do?"
"I forgot our
anniversary."
Bruce looked disgusted. "You forgot your wedding
anniversary? You could have programmed
that into the JLA calendar, it has reminders and everything."
"Not that
anniversary," Kal said, his tone miserable.
"Oh," Diana and
Bruce said together. Diana was touched--that
was actually quite romantic, remembering their first time in bed that way.
"Not that one
either."
She frowned. "Which one then?"
"The first time I took
her flying."
"Just how many
anniversaries do you have,
Kal shook his head. "Gazillions. We were big on them when we first started
dating--and even before. Some are
"One word, my
friend. Three syllables. Calendar."
Diana smiled but put a hand on Kal's arm.
"You go to a florist and--"
"--And buy her roses, I
know the drill."
"Not roses," Diana
said. "Tuberoses."
Bruce smiled. "Right.
Exotic. Takes effort. Better yet, buy them in Hawaii."
"Exotic?" Kal was smiling.
"Because she's not just
any woman..." Diana rolled her
eyes.
"Would you fall for
this?" Bruce asked her.
"No. But I'm not her."
"She's as smart as you
are, Diana. Maybe smarter." Bruce looked at Kal, ignoring the glare Diana
sent his way. "Will Lois buy
this?"
"Maybe." Kal perked up. "Maybe I could make it a theme. Gifts from places I had to fly to."
"You still missed the
day."
"I know. But I could try...?" Kal sighed.
"Calendar, huh?"
"While you're in the
calendar, you can see what else he has programmed into the computer." She shot Bruce a look. None of them had ever forgotten his
protocols--even if they had forgiven him eventually.
It's what friends did. Forgive.
It's what lovers do too.
She looked at Kal. "Forget the flowers. Just tell her how sorry you are. Tell her what's in your heart."
"No flowers?"
Bruce shook his head. "Bring her flowers some day she doesn't
expect it. And for God's sake, Kal,
don't miss your next anniversary."
He laughed. "I'm glad I have you two."
"Can we spar now?"
Diana asked Bruce, as Kal got up to leave.
"Yes, we can
spar." Bruce followed her down to
the mats, looking grateful that the insightful relationship moment was over.
--------------------
The Spalexers
threw one hell of a thank-you party. The
JLA were the guests of honor on this little planet, and they were partying
hard. Or at least most of them were. The trinity sat in the back, sipping water.
"I didn't know you could
do that with a ring." Bruce was
watching John cause a green lampshade to appear on his head while he danced on
a green table--the other Leaguers had obviously opted for something
considerably stronger than water.
"Where's the
Flash?" Kal asked.
Diana pointed off into the bushes, over to the makeshift dance floor, and down
by the drinks table. "He's hyper
tonight."
Music started. Soft, romantic music. Diana sighed.
"You want to
dance?" Kal asked.
"Yeah." She shot him a look. "We never do." She included Bruce in the look. "Why do we never?"
"We're the senior
members. We set an example." Bruce sounded very pompous.
Diana noticed he wasn't
meeting her eyes. "Is that what we
are?"
"Oh, to hell with it,
let's dance." Kal pulled her up,
dancing with her in the grass.
As they moved slowly away
from Bruce, she caught him staring at them, a disapproving look on his
face. Then he turned away.
"He's in love with
you," Kal whispered in her ear.
"You ascertained this
how?"
"I just know."
"Uh huh. And a few weeks ago, he was kissing you in a
meadow. I could speculate that he might
be in love with you."
"To be honest, I did
kiss him first."
"Yeah?"
He laughed softly. "He has nice lips. I always sort of wondered..."
"He does have nice
lips." She relaxed into him, felt
his hands tighten on her back.
"Diana, you're in love
with him, aren't you?"
"Yes." She looked up at him, trying to read his
expression.
He took a deep breath. "It's going to change things for the
three of us."
"I know. Maybe that's why he and I never do anything
about it?"
"Maybe." His hand tightened painfully on hers, and she
shook it a little. He looked sheepish as
he relaxed his grip. "Sorry."
"I love you too,
Kal."
"I know. But I'm not single." Pulling her into the shadows, he stopped the
dance. "I just have to do
this."
She knew he was going to kiss
her, wasn't surprised to feel his lips on hers.
It was a nice kiss, but not very passionate. He was holding back.
Like he was saying goodbye.
"Kal..."
He eased her back into the
light, keeping to the shadows. "Why
don't you go dance with him, Diana? I'm
pretty sure there's a green lampshade over there with my name on it."
She couldn't see his face and
pulled him back out of the dank. He looked
resigned. Not happy for her, not
particularly sad either. As if he'd seen
this day coming for a long time.
She sighed. "Why don't you come back to the table
and none of us will dance."
"You two should
dance. It's nice to dance." He touched her cheek, then walked away.
She didn't move, waited for
Bruce to come up.
"Trouble?"
"No."
"I thought you two were
enjoying yourself?" There was
censure in his voice.
"What if we were?"
He started to turn, and she
caught his arm. "Dance with
me?"
He didn't move.
"Please,
Bruce?" She stepped closer. "I know you know how. I've watched you with other women on a
million dance floors."
"That's an
exaggeration," he said sternly. But
he pulled her into his arms anyway.
"Why are we dancing, Diana? Because Kal said we could?"
She shot him a quick look,
trying to ascertain if his hearing was as good as Kal's or if he was just
psychic.
"By your
silence..."
"We don't need his
permission." She tried to move
closer but he held her at arms length. "Bruce...?"
He stopped dancing. "I want to go home."
"To be alone in your Batcave?"
"What makes you think
I'm alone there?"
"My mistake." She pushed away from him. "You know, dancing is usually a fun
thing to do."
"I'm the Batman. I'm not known for being fun."
"I guess I lost sight of
that." She turned and stalked away,
up to where Kal was sitting trying to appear as if he was having fun.
He looked at her in surprise
as she sat down at his table.
"Well. That didn't go as
planned." He seemed a tiny bit
pleased.
"What are you
drinking?"
"It's just more
water." He handed her his
glass. "He's a moron, Diana."
"No, he's a genius. That's the problem, Kal. What's simple to us is not to him."
"I never said this was
simple." He looked down. "I just thought that you two
might--"
"--Do us all a
favor. Don't think anymore." She glared out at the band, causing them to
miss a beat in the song.
Kal laughed and let his hand
drop to her leg, tickling her behind the knee.
"Stop it."
"Stop scaring the horn
section and I will."
She laughed despite her bad
mood. "I want to go home."
"Yeah. Me too."
At least they all had that in
common.
--------------------
"I come bearing
cookies." Bruce laid the package in
front of her. "It's an 'I'm sorry'
gift."
She pushed the bag to the
center of the table.
Kal started laughing, and she
took a closer look. The cookies in the
bag had all been peeled apart--only the frosted sides remained. She began to smile.
"I'm an ass," Bruce
said softly.
"I coulda
told you that," Kal muttered as he got up.
"I think I'm gonna go find a sparring
partner."
When he was gone, Bruce
pushed the package toward her.
"Truce?"
"Why would we need a
truce?" She pushed out of her
chair. "You know I could use a good
fight right about now too."
He pulled her back down,
something she let him do, and they both knew it.
"We need to talk."
"If I had a dime for every time we've said that over the years..."
He nodded, smiling in a
pained way.
She decided to cut him some
slack and reached for the cookies, opening the bag and pulling out a
couple. "Did you undo these or did
you make Alfred?"
"I did."
She smiled.
"He laughed at me."
She smiled even more.
"Nightwing
called me whipped."
She started to laugh.
"I'm glad you're
amused." He sat back, his arms
crossed as if in a huff. But when she
snuck a look at him, he was grinning. "I
don't know why I didn't just dance with you."
"I do." She handed him a cookie, smiled as he took it
from her. "You're scared."
"I'm Batman. I don't get scared."
"Liar." She ate another cookie. "I scare you, I've figured that
out. But what I can't fathom is
why." She looked at him, saw him
look down rather than meet her eyes.
"I'm just me. We've known
each other forever. We're friends...sort
of."
He laughed tightly. "We are friends."
"Well, good. That's a relief." She sighed.
"If you don't want me, just say so."
"A man would have to be
insane not to want you."
She smiled. She heard nice things a lot, but not from
him. "So you do want me?"
"Yes." He helped himself to another cookie. "But you would be a complication I can't
afford, Diana."
Her smile died. She'd be a complication? "I see."
He started to get up and she slammed
her hand down on his, heard him huff in pain as she pinned him to the
table.
"Define
complication," she said.
"You would be a
distraction."
"If you want me now,
then you're already distracted. Perhaps
if we acted on it, you wouldn't be."
"Logical. But logic and love rarely intermingle."
She looked up at him. "You love
me?"
He turned away, would have
walked out probably if he could have gotten his hand out from under hers.
"Do you love me,
Bruce?"
"I said so, didn't
I?"
"No. You didn't." She let him go. "I don't want to be a distraction,
Batman."
"Diana. For God's sake."
"First I'm an unnatural
creature. Then I'm a tease. Now, I'm a complication you can't
afford." She got up, pushed past
him. "You make a girl feel really special,
Bruce."
She was to the teleporter and back in the embassy in
He was right behind her.
"You think you're not a
goddamn distraction?" he shouted, to her and an entire roomful of visiting
Amazons.
She looked at him, her face reddening. "And this is Batman. He's one of the more calm members of the
League." She watched the Amazons
leave, most of them throwing funny looks back at her and Bruce. "I swear I didn't know they'd be
here."
"That was so
embarrassing." He started to
laugh. "What was that? A tour from home?"
"Yep." She walked to
the window, could hear him coming up behind her. "Just go home, Bruce. This conversation's going nowhere."
He touched her arm and she
shivered. Then he moved her hair aside
and kissed her neck.
"I thought I was a
complication?"
"You are. Now shut up." He pulled her closer so that she had to kiss
him.
When he finally let her go,
she said, "Maybe you're the complication?
Maybe you're the distraction?"
He smiled slightly as he turned
her, then pushed her back against the window.
"Maybe I am."
She heard a strange
crackling, and realized he had stuffed the bag of cookies in his belt. Pulling them out, she looked at him
quizzically.
"I peeled all those
cookies just for you. No way I was leaving them for Kal or Wally or anyone else."
"I have milk in the
kitchen."
He smiled, pulling her in for
another kiss before saying, "Lead on."
----------------
"Where are the
cookies?" Kal asked as he plowed through the vegetable drawer.
"I hid them in the oven
this time."
Diana laughed. It was an adventure getting close to someone
as paranoid as Bruce.
"Uh, buddy. I think Wally's on to you." Kal winked at Diana.
"Our cookies are
gone?" Bruce got up in a huff,
clearly ready to reclaim his sweets by force.
"Bruce. Kidding." Kal tossed him the bag. He poured milk for them all and carried the
glasses to the table. "So? Everything good here?"
Diana smiled. She noticed Bruce was not smiling. Would it kill him to say he was happy? But then he surprised her by unpeeling a
cookie and handing her the frosted side.
He popped the other side in his mouth.
"I guess everything's
good," Kal said, giving her a gentle smile.
"Everything's
fine,
"Whipped," Kal said
softly.
"I heard
that." Bruce looked up at him. "And I'm going to kill Nightwing."
Diana laughed.
"That's enough out of
you," Bruce said, handing her the bag of cookies. "You can open them for me, if you're so
damn amused."
"But you hate it when I
do that."
"Yeah, I
know." He smiled at her. A warm, loving, slightly
diabolical smile. "Humor
me?"
Definitely
an adventure.
Kal leaned forward. "So,
that calendar program you let me use, Bruce.
Is it bad when you get a message that says 'Fatal Error'? I mean on the screen before the calendar
comes up? The main
screen?"
The small part of Bruce that was visible under the cowl went ghostly pale.
"Kal. That's so
mean." Diana patted Bruce's
hand. "Your programs are fine, dear. He's just screwing with you." She shook her head.
Bruce seemed to be having
trouble getting his breath back.
"Sorry, bud. Didn't mean to go for the
jugular."
"Very funny," Bruce
said.
Diana smiled. They all knew his techo-thingamajigs were the loves of his life. Except she knew they were currently running
second to her. She had a feeling Kal
might have figured that out too.
"So,
umm. Remember that planet with the interesting
atmospheric disturbances?" Kal
smiled innocently.
Bruce glared at him.
"I was thinking maybe we
could double date there? You and Diana, me and Lois?" Kal could barely keep a straight face.
Diana was having trouble not
laughing too.
"Sure." Bruce smiled in his best "bluff
called" way. "That would be
fun." He reached over and held a
cookie to Kal's lips. "Just name the day, big guy."
Kal stared at him.
"Yeah, that's what I
thought." Bruce pulled back the
cookie and bit into it.
"If
you could see your face, Kal." Diana took a sip of milk.
"Flash alert!" Kal
cried, and they threw themselves over the cookie bag.
"Damn freakin' threesome!" they heard as the Flash sped out
of the kitchen empty handed.
Bruce leaned back, peeling
Diana another cookie and putting his legs up on the spare chair. "Yeah. We're bad."
FIN