DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2023 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.

We're What Now?

by Djinn



Seven walked into Shaw's office, set his favorite muffin down in front of him, and pulled a chair over to face his desk. "You look concerned."


"Am I reading this right? We have to pretend to be married?" Shaw glared at her like it was her fault.


"I didn't write the mission parameters." She leaned back and put her feet on his desk. The Manlu sounded like nice people. Into romance and sex, and rich with resources—like an obscene amount of dilithium—but resources they sold only to likeminded souls.


"Hansen, so help me God. My desk is a temple and your feet have been who knows where."


When she didn't move her feet, he leaned over and pushed them hard, knocking her back enough that the chair went over but she managed to get clear before it hit the ground. "Almost got me that time."




"Yeah, yeah."


"This is bullshit," he said, running his hand through his hair as he read more.


She got the chair resettled and yelled out to the not terribly startled bridge crew, "I'm all right. Don't fall all over yourself running in here to help me."


"We won't, Commander Seven." La Forge did walk over though. "You two make it kind of hard to concentrate on our jobs. Comm us if you need a referee or, you know, lube for when you make up." She closed the door.


"Do you think they respect us?" Seven asked. "I don't think she needs to bring up lube like that. No one every brought up lube to Janeway."


"Who cares? Can't I pretend to be married to Ohk? She actually likes me."


"Or she's just better at pretending." She moved around the desk and straddled him. "I don't have to like you to be married to you. Plenty of people who are married dislike each other." She leaned in and gently bit his lip, pulling it just enough to drive him nuts.


He drew her in for a very long kiss, then pushed her off his lap. "Would you be serious? I can't pretend to be married to you when I already am married to you."


"I know but it's only been for a few days and nobody knows about it. And we didn't mean to get married. I didn't know that green stuff was absinthe or that they did weddings in the back room of the bar without first checking blood alcohol level."


"I don't know what was worse, the hangover or waking up with you as my ball and chain."


She tipped up his chin. "Yes, you do. A hangover wears off. I don't."


"You sure don't." He grinned at her and pulled her back onto his lap. "It's not that I regret that we're married. But there's a shitload of paperwork we need to do if we don't get it annulled within thirty days. I mean Starfleet knows these things happen—missions get wacky."


"Mmm hmmm." She was undoing his trousers and only halfway listening. "Well on the plus side, we won't be lying when we tell the Manlu we're married."


"You always find the silver lining." He stopped her hands. "How many times do I have to tell you. What do you say before you do that?"


"Computer, lock doors."


"There's my careful girl. Safety first. Even if it's just to our reputation."


"La Forge mentioned lube. I think it's far too late for our reputations."


"Yeah, well, you're worth it." He pulled her shirt up and unsnapped her bra with one hand and went to town the way she liked. Soon his hands were creeping under her pants and underwear.


She gave up trying to get his pants undone. Once he got started on her, he was a man who always followed through. It was one reason she wasn't in a rush to get their marriage annulled.


The fact that he was gorgeous and whip smart, took no shit from her without giving it right back, and cried at cute animal videos were also factors.


Plus she just really, really liked him. And he made her laugh.


Although right now the noises he was bringing out of her were more moans than laughter. He had his hand over her mouth to keep her from being too loud as she came and then just held her for a moment, kissing her neck gently, before saying, "Okay, let's get these pants off."


She loved days that started with those words.




"I know I don't have to tell you two to bury whatever differences you might have." Janeway glared at both of them through the terminal screen.


"Have you been bitching to her again about me?" Shaw wanted to wink at Seven, but Janeway missed nothing.


"The admiral has met you, Shaw. She already completely understands."


"She's also met you, Hansen. And saddled me with you. Thanks, by the way, Admiral."


"Oh, you two. If you'd just for one minute stop to smell the coffee, you'd realize you're an excellent command team. But back to the mission." She suddenly giggled and brushed something offscreen away.


"Chakotay?" he murmured to Seven.


"Probably." Seven could not have sounded more annoyed.


"Jealous?" He was really hoping the answer was no. He was smitten with her even if he'd be damned if he'd say "I love you" first.


"If she is, it's news to me," came a male voice from offscreen.


"Shhh. Everyone. As I was saying, the Manlu have turned away others for sending officers in who weren't sufficiently in love. I suggest you two give a very clear message."


"Why send us if you want two people in love? Why not send you and the Chucklehead you won't let on camera?" Shaw heard Seven snicker and grinned.


"I'm a bit busy to do this kind of mission." Her expression was like durasteel.


"Also we don't want to."


"Also that. Good luck, you two."


Once the screen went dead, he pulled Seven into his arms and said, "She knows we're together, doesn't she? Why else would she send us to something this important?"


"She so does. How?"


"Does it matter? I'm sort of psyched we get to actually act like we dig each other in freakin' public."






The Manlu were insanely nice. Seven could feel herself relaxing just listening to them speak.


They were shown pools they could swim in, buffets of all kinds of yummy food, a place for couple's massage, and then they were taken to their room.


"We must warn you," the head of the Manlu delegation said, "we have become sadly quite accustomed to outsiders trying to pretend to be together merely to secure our dilithium. We know because they see this and their faces fall." He pointed to a door on the far side of the bedroom. "Open it."


Shaw did and a light came on—a red light. He looked around, his mouth open, and said softly, "Holy fucking shit." Then he held out his hand for her, and she took it and let him pull her to the doorway.


"You gave us a playroom." She walked in, imagining herself or Shaw on the various devices/furniture. "Uh, I don't think this one matches our anatomy."


He walked over and tilted his head. "Well, if you were kind of restrained sideways you could..." He demonstrated with a thrust.


"Ohhhh. Huh. Wouldn't you get a cramp doing that? It's kind of tall."


He looked around till he found a lever that lowered the thing. "Where's an engineer when you need one? Right here, that's where." He rubbed his hands together. "This is going to be so much fun."


The Manlu were grinning at them. "Our formal discussions don't begin until tomorrow afternoon. Please avail yourselves of the pools, food and of course this room."


"Oh, we may not leave this room."


"In that case, you room has a replicator." They pulled aside a piece of art to reveal the hidden replicator.


"Fancy schmancy." Shaw gave her an almost predatory smile. "What do you say, darling? Do you want to swim or use the playroom?"


She shot him a look that meant he was an idiot. Pools were everyday but how often did you get a whole sex playroom attached to your bedroom?


Could they do that on the ship if they cut a hole in the shared wall between their quarters to create a door?


"We'll see you tomorrow, then." The Manlu left them.


"Oh, Baby, where do we start first?" He pulled her to him and kissed her soundly. "Safe word is?"


"Chakotay sucks."


He sighed theatrically. "You need to let that go."


"I will when 'Picard sucks' stops being yours."


"Fine. Safe words established. Let's play."




Shaw was very happy to see that the chairs they would be sitting in for the discussion were extensively padded. Seven had gone a little hard on him when she'd had him restrained over the switching post.


Not that he'd minded at the time. But they hadn't thought about bringing a regenerator with them.


She was moving a little gingerly too. That sideways thingamajig had been amazing orgasm wise but ultimately they'd both pulled muscles using it.


He held her hand as they walked to the table and the head of the delegation smirked at them. "It is wonderful to see such true love. And lust, apparently."


"MMmmmm," was all Seven said, but she was smiling like the cat who got the canary.


He loved that look on her. He leaned forward, "I'm authorized to tell you that Starfleet is eager to get things rolling as quickly as possible." He leaned in even closer and lowered his voice for the head of the delegation alone. "But the missus and I sure would hate to leave before we've tried all the toys in the playroom, if you get my drift?"


"Loud and clear, Captain Shaw. It is a shame we won't be able to see eye to eye for at least three...?" He laughed when Shaw nodded. "Three days."


"Any more than that and we're liable to do permanent injury to ourselves."


"Well, you can always come back on vacation. The playrooms are standard in our homes."


"Mmmmm," Seven said. "Standard."


The head of the delegation passed a padd to Shaw. "These are our terms."


"They look reasonable. Too bad it's going to take us so long to actually sign the trade treaty."


"Indeed. I am afraid my delegation and I must now retire from the negotiation table in a huff. Enjoy your day." He winked and clapped sharply.


Everyone got up and left.


Then one of them ran back and handed them both regenerators. "Just in case you want to start a session fresh."


"Oh, you are the best hosts ever." He held up the regenerator. "Your turn on the switching post, my angel. And maybe we can master that sideways thing.


"Mmmmm," was her only response.




Seven was sitting on a two-person lounger holding hands with Liam when his communicator buzzed.


He lazily hit it and said, "Shaw here."


"We have a signed treaty." Janeway sounded annoyed. "Why are you still with the Manlu?"


"Honeymoon." He looked at her and made a sheepish face, then mouthed, "Okay to tell?"


She nodded.


"I beg your pardon. I thought you said 'honeymoon.'"


"Yep, see, we actually did get married a few days before you sent us on this mission. I know an annulment is easy but we errr had to consummate for this mission, so that's out."


"You can still get it annulled—this is Starfleet, not the Vatican."


"But you never know when this kind of situation may come up again and you need a married pair of captain and first officer."


"Pretty much never comes up, Captain Shaw. How serious are you being?"


He looked at Seven, a question in his eyes—but also the affection she really enjoyed and that he was letting out more and more on this mission.


She mouthed, "Tell her very."


His smile was lovely, and he touched her cheek as he said, "Serious as a heart attack, ma'am."


"You realize I could just separate you two."




"Oh, do not start with your endless 'Or's,' Liam Shaw. I heard enough of those when we were in the Academy."


"You were the best squadron leader a plebe could want."


"Buttering me up will get you nowhere. Where is Seven on all this? Seven?"




"You actually want to be married to this bozo?"


"He's a delightfully inventive bozo. We can keep it a secret if that's easier."


"Yes, it is easier. You keep two rooms but if you want to carve out a door between the two, don't tell me about it."


Seven started to dance in the chair, mouthing, "Playroom, playroom, playroom."


Shaw was trying not to laugh as he said, "Okay, ma'am, mum's the word. And the paperwork? I hate to not be current on that."


"I'll set Tom Paris on the paperwork. I'm sure he can come up with a creative reason why you two need to be secretly married."


"Give Tom our love," Seven said.


"I'm a little busy giving him mine."


She and Liam just looked at each other. He mouthed, "Really?" And she shrugged.


"Oh, that was a joke. Sort of." Janeway laughed in a not at all uncomfortable manner. "You'd think two people who'd made such free use of the Manlu playroom wouldn't be shocked by a little swinging."


"You know about that...how?" Liam's voice went very high.


"That's for me to know and you to find out if I ever need to blackmail you. And may I say you two look exquisite together. We're having a great deal of fun using your sex tapes as, well, mood starters."


"Fuck me," Liam muttered.


"Oh, I would like to. But Seven's not into sharing. Curious for a hive creature but..."


"Human now." She rolled her eyes. "Your fault that I am."


"Yes, yes, I'm horrible. I know. All right, you two. Please get back on your ship. Accounting for this trip is going to be a nightmare as it is without you staying an extra day."


"It's not like they're charging." Liam frowned. "Wait, are they charging?"


"By the fucking hour, Mister. And we requested the deluxe suite for you. Chakotay had his doubts, but I knew you'd come through. I remember how eager you were at the Academy."


Seven shot him a suspicious look.


"Eager to impress, darling. Not eager to—"


"Yes, Seven, relax. You're not sharing this one with me. Although if you two ever want to..."


"Shaw out." Seven said as she cut the connection by hitting his communicator rather more forcefully than needed.


He didn't seem to mind. "Yeah, I don't need anyone but you." He pulled her in close. "So before we go, let's get extensive photos and measurements of our favorite diversions in the playroom."


"So we can recreate them in the quarters that I won't be using anymore once we put a door in?"


"Just exactly." He pulled her close. "I love you, by the way. I wasn't going to say it first but hell, if we're going to stay married, I'm going to have to learn to bend a little."


"You told me you loved me the night we got married. It's why we decided to get married. Don't you remember?"


"No. Absinthe is the devil."


"Oh, well, you said it then. I didn't say it back because we were wasted."


"You said 'I do' but not 'I love you'?"


She nodded with a grin. "I think I had my priorities in the right place."




"And I love you too."y