DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2024 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.

Command Teams (Part 2)

by Djinn

 

 

8.

 

The days had gotten away from them, taskings and seminars that left them wiped and long meetings with personnel about assignments. Finally they had a night free, and Seven punched in Liam's code.

 

He answered with a weird smile. "Hey, darlin'." His voice was very slurred.

 

"Oh, boy," Raffi muttered from behind her.

 

He reached off screen, came back with a bottle and took a long pull. It was a tall bottle, spirits not beer. "Not a good day for my two favorite females. Liam's in a piss poor mood."

 

"How much have you had to drink, Liam?" Raffi asked pushing herself in to Seven's annoyance.

 

That wasn't the question. The question was what was wrong.

 

"A lot. Not that it's any of your fucking business."

 

Seven pushed her off screen. "What's going on?" She made it the voice they'd always used with each other when the other was hurting, when they were sitting the chairs but one of them was in pain—and not from something the other had done. "Liam?"

 

"Some things you can't fix, baby. I love you so much. I wish you could. I wish you both could. But you can't and...I'll see you later." He cut the connection.

 

Seven sat very still, then stood. "We're going to his place."

 

"Damn right we are."

 

"Can you grab some antitox. I don't have that much on me."

 

"I can do better." She dug around in her trunk that kept things she rarely used and pulled out a container of little red pills. "Bingo. Knew I still had some of these."

 

"And those are?"

 

"A mixture of antitox to sober him up and a—well I'm not sure of the actual pharmacological term, but they make you sick if you drink for two days after." She put it in her pocket and said, "Let's go."

 

Seven got in front of her. "No."

 

"What do you mean no? This is his second time drunk in how long?"

 

"I can count the number of times I've seen him wasted on one hand. Including the last two times. Something is very wrong."

 

"Yes, but he can deal with it for real once he can't drink."

 

Seven could feel it, the way Raffi pushed—manipulated. The thing that often started them down the road to splitsville. But she could do more than just resent this time. She could intervene. "No."

 

"No?"

 

"No. You have no right to determine his coping mechanisms."

 

"You really want to deal with two addicts?"

 

"He's not one. Something's going on to make him act this way. And as far as the drinking, he's alone in his place and he's a big boy. He always has antitox."

 

"Sure, great, so he can get sober and get drunk again."

 

"Raffi, this isn't your call. How many times have you told me people have to want to change? If he even needed to change, which he doesn't."

 

She saw that Raffi's hand was shaking and gently took it in hers. "He's a dick, but just now, he was nice. Drunk, but nice. But I know him and something's really wrong. So if you think you need to go over and fix him rather than listen to him, maybe you need to stay here."

 

"You'd go there without me?" Raffi looked and sounded utterly betrayed.

 

"I'd go there without you armed with that medicine, yeah. I'd prefer to go with you, however, but you have to leave those pills behind and get the antitox I asked for."

 

She jerked away. "So you only have one addict to deal with—is that what you're saying?"

 

"Hey. No one said anything about being an addict. What the hell?"

 

"You can drink with him."

 

"Not tonight I can't."

 

"But you normally can. And you can now too. Keep him company until he's ready to talk. I can't do that. I'll be the person with the fucking glass of water." She turned away. "I'll always be the person with the fucking glass of water."

 

Seven decided now was not the time to point out all the other nonalcoholic options—that wasn't what Raffi was saying. She stood behind her, arms wrapped around her tightly. "I'm not in love with him because I can drink with him. And breaking up with you was never about not being able to drink with you." She pulled her around to face her, kissed her almost savagely. "I love you but I really can only deal with one of you falling apart at a time. Put the pills back in that trunk, get me some fucking antitox, and let's go."

 

Raffi searched her face for a long time, her look serious. Then she nodded and laughed half-heartedly. "Me pushing too much again."

 

"No shit. I need you. He needs you. Let's go."

 

Raffi nodded, threw the pills back into the trunk, grabbed some pills from Seven's antitox stash, and tossed Seven her jacket and slipped her own on. "So what are we waiting for? More relationship talk about us when he needs help? Please."

 

Seven nodded. "I love you."

 

"I love you too. Let's go see what the hell is wrong with our guy."

 

##

 

Shaw sat at his terminal, taking long pulls from the bottle of scotch, going through photos from the Constance, laughing at some, getting choked up at others.

 

Then he brought up the note Ferard—Three of Ten—had sent to the group. "Frontier Day brought up too much shit. I'm sorry."

 

He would have gone over except Ferard was on a mining moon well outside of a transporter. So he'd talked to the others and made the call to the security officer on the moon.

 

They'd found him in his quarters. Overdose. Dead for two days—he'd set a time delay on the comms going out.

 

He hadn't wanted to be stopped. This wasn't a cry for help. Just...closure for the rest of them.

 

He took another pull and heard his chime go off.

 

And off.

 

And off.

 

Only one fucking person could lean on a door chime that way. He stumbled to the door and hit the panel to open it. "Fucking A, Hansen. Did you not understand me? Not to-fucking-day."

 

Raffi was hanging back—shit was he scaring her or did she just not want to deal with him? Was she only in this because of Seven? Did she give a rat's ass about him?

 

Seven eased him back and motioned for Raffi to come in. As the doors closed, Seven touched his face, so gently. "What is it?"

 

He wanted to fight but was undone by the tenderness in her voice. "Go look at my screen."

 

She did. Raffi still hung back. "You can look too, Raff." He walked to the window, the view really pretty for short-term housing.

 

"Three of Ten," Seven said as she walked to him, watching him in the glass, her reflection clear and lovely. "I'm so sorry."

 

"I tried to stop it. Called security. He'd been dead a while. He knew we'd try to stop him." He realized he was crying and he dashed the tears away almost viciously.

 

She reached out for him and he flinched away. The expression on her face reflected back at him just about broke him. "If you'd rather have just Raffi here, a human. I understand."

 

He turned and pulled her back as she started to walk away. "You are human."

 

"No, Liam, I'm not. I'm Borg. Just like Picard.

 

"Fucking former ex Borg. Him, not you. You were an innocent. You were a victim. And Starfleet made you pay for sins that weren't your fault. But he got to skate and we both know it."

 

He looked over at Raffi. "I know he's your friend. The great JL. You want to tell me how wrong I am."

 

"No, I'm just wondering about the wording. Former ex-Borg?"

 

"Huh." He shook his head as he thought about it.

 

"Want some antitox?" Raffi was already holding it out.

 

"Yeah, I mean I'm usually really precise and I practiced a lot of what I said at that fucking dinner." He stuck the pills under his tongue and the stupor—and the relief—fell away. "Fuck."

 

Seven walked over to his terminal and stoppered up the bottle, putting it back on his bar cart.

 

"Thanks, baby. I'm so fucking tired of this. Of everything."

 

Raffi took one arm, and Seven took the other and they led him to his bedroom and pushed him onto the bed, urging him to slide to the middle and then they cuddled next to him.

 

"Oh, I meant former because he's got a synth body now. It wasn't assimilated, that was his old human one."

 

"That actually makes sense." Raffi cuddled in closer, her hand going under his shirt, settling on his stomach, warm and firm and so soothing. So strong.

 

Seven put her leg over his, curling in so her lips were on the side of his face, the contact anything but sensual. "Tell us about him?"

 

"That's the thing. I didn't even know him on the ship. We all just ended up by that escape pod. Engineers and life sciences and security and whoever could get to that part of the ship. And there were flashing lights and broken panels and red alert klaxons that kept cutting out. He was the third person that lieutenant picked to get on. Ten seats. Three of Ten. A sick fucking joke." He started to shiver.

 

Raffi got up, walked out to the main room and got the throw that was on the couch, wrapping it around him.

 

"We could have just gotten under the covers."

 

"Under the covers could be mistaken for seduction." Seven smiled gently at him.

 

"We just want to take care of you."

 

He pulled it closer, the soft fabric and then them on top of it, their hands clasped over his gut, their lips on his cheek, on his neck. "I never knew why I was picked."

 

"We never do. I was only a tertiary adjunct. There were two others who would have been better suited to deal with Kathryn when we first met them to negotiate an alliance. But I was chosen to lead the team because the primary and secondary adjunct were off on other missions. So I was the one who got away. Got to live."

 

"I have to believe you were both meant to survive." Raffi let go of Seven's hand and touched her cheek, then his. "You were both more than worth saving."

 

He yawned, a huge one, fuck he was tired.

 

"You need sleep," Seven said gently.

 

"Don't leave me."

 

"Okay," Raffi whispered. "But now we are going to need to get under the covers."

 

"Like I fucking said." He started to laugh. "Like old times. With new additions." He leaned over and kissed Raffi, could tell she wasn't expecting it. "Sorry I taste like whiskey."

 

"It's okay."

 

Seven coughed dramatically. "Getting super tired of being chosen second."

 

He turned to her, met her eyes to see if that was true, could tell she knew exactly why he was choosing her second. Her gaze was soft, her lips relaxed and pillowy and he said, "Well, kiss me already then. Jesus."

 

Raffi rubbed his neck as they kissed. Again, soothing, not sensual.

 

"And boots off the fucking bed. Were you two raised by wolves?" He frowned. "Seven's excused because she stood up to sleep for all those years, no doubt with footwear still on."

 

"Correct," she said as she toed off her shoes and began to pull the covers down despite the fact two other people were lying on them. He loved her determination.

 

He lifted his butt up, so she could pull the covers down, and then turned to Raffi. "But you have no damn excuse."

 

"Picky ass bachelors are more trouble than they're worth." But she toed off her shoes and was so fucking graceful navigating the covers. It was giving him ideas. "Maybe we should be naked for this?"

 

"Go to sleep, Liam." Seven curled into him and sighed happily.

 

He turned to meet Raffi's eyes. "I'm a handful."

 

"So's she. I'm used to it." Then her look changed. "And I'm not exactly Ms. Normal."

 

"No, you're Ms. Exceptional."

 

It was somehow the right thing to say to her. More than just a compliment, because she put her mouth to his ear and murmured, "I'm falling in love with you." Then she eased away and met his eyes.

 

"Same here. Scary?"

 

"Not at all." Then she smiled as she looked over him at Seven, a different smile—and he realized it was the smile that belonged to Seven alone. "She's already out. It's been a shitty week for her. She hates meetings."

 

"She'll get used to it." He touched her lips. "I love how much you love her."

 

"Neither of us will hurt her."

 

"We can't promise that. Love is tricky."

 

"Actually, this might be the first time, especially with her, that it doesn't feel like it is." Her smile was brilliant. She moved closer to him and he put his arm around her and closed his eyes.

 

She fell asleep before he did. He could tell by the way her breathing changed.

 

He could still imagine the sounds and sights of the Constance, of all ten of them in the escape pod, of how it felt to be launched out into the hellscape that was space that day. But with them beside him, it was removed just enough.

 

He whispered, "Your fight is over, Ferard." He wouldn't use the nickname. Maybe it was time to retire those. "God speed and fair winds."

 

And then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

 

9

 

Seven woke and realized Liam was awake too. She glanced at Raffi but he murmured, "She's still asleep."

 

He touched her face, drawing symbols on her cheek. "The downside of the middle is there's no sneaking out to pee."

 

She laughed softly. "Do you want to get out?"

 

"Please."

 

She slipped out of bed and went to his kitchen to get some water as he headed for the bathroom. A moment later he was back. "You want coffee?"

 

"That sounds good."

 

He got them coffee from the replicator, smiling as he did it. She took it from him as he held his up, drinking but staring at her over it. Then he took her hand, led her to the table, and after they put their coffees down, he hiked her up.

 

She thought of Raffi, thought how maybe this moment should include her, but he wasn't making a move to take her clothes off. He just pressed against her as she wrapped her legs around him, and kissed her.

 

And it wasn't just long, sensual kisses. Sometimes he peppered her face with little kisses, moving his hands through her hair, rubbing her neck and back.

 

She heard footsteps and they both stopped and turned.

 

Raffi was wiping her eyes. "Keep going. I need coffee."

 

Seven held out her hand. "Come join us."

 

Raffi shook her head and once she had her coffee, kicked up onto the counter. "I think I need to see this. All the way through. I won't always be a part of it. And you two have been patient." She took a sip. "I want to watch you fuck." And then her stomach grumbled.

 

Liam laughed and walked over to her, giving her a quick kiss and then asking what she wanted for breakfast. He got her usual oatmeal with maple and said, "Tell us to fuck when your blood sugar is fine, and we'll do it."

 

She took a few bites, sighed the way she always did when she'd gotten too hungry, sipped some coffee, and then said, "Yep, still want you to."

 

He walked back to Seven, his look questioning. "You game?"

 

"Raffi's not one to torture herself."

 

"I didn't ask about Raffi. I asked about you." He touched her cheek so softly, the way she'd imagined him doing in so many fantasies. "Do you want to do this now or wait?"

 

"Now."

 

His smile was gorgeous. "Yeah, me too."

 

He peeled off her top and then she took his off. She'd seen him in a tank so his arms weren't a shock.

 

But Raffi hadn't, and she said with clear admiration, "Those are some good arms, Liam."

 

"Aww, shucks, ma'am."

 

Seven whapped him gently. "You work on them like a crazy man. What's this aww shucks shit?"

 

He laughed and suddenly a tension she hadn't realized she'd been feeling was gone. She smiled at him, undoing his pants, letting them fall off him, then easing off his underwear. She admired him, then heard Raffi ask, "Was I right?"

 

"Right?" he asked.

 

She reached down, encircled what was indeed an ample cock. "She thought you were too self-assured to be lacking when it came to this part of you."

 

He had his eyes closed as she played.

 

"Can I see?" Raffi said, sounding put out.

 

Seven turned him and said, "Give her a show while I get the rest of my clothes off."

 

"Belay the clothing removal. I want to do it." But he grinned. "The show however." He turned, put his hands on his hips, looked like the quintessential Starfleet captain other than that he was nude and erect, and said, "So?"

 

"Nice cock, Liam." Raffi's smile was playful in a way that Seven wasn't sure it would have been if she weren't...overseeing this. Not that she minded her doing that. It made it even sexier.

 

The fact that Liam wanted to take her clothes off her also was hot as fuck. He was still standing like a statue and she started to laugh and said, "Enough posing, dipshit."

 

He turned, laughing too, and instead of taking her bra off, eased her breasts out of the cup. "I, for one, think the Doctor is a hero for choosing this size."

 

She was going to say something back but then his lips were on her, sucking and licking, going back and forth, and she closed her eyes and rode out the sensations for a moment. Then she locked eyes with Raffi, and smiled at her, and got a smile back. A lovely, untroubled smile. "I love you," she mouthed to her.

 

"I love you too," Raffi mouthed back. "Liam, she wants you inside her." Her grin was slow and sexy. "And so do I."

 

He pulled her pants down, taking the underwear with them, waiting for her to lift up so he could pull them all the the way off. Then he began to play with her, and she could tell he was making sure she was wet, that he wouldn't hurt her.

 

"Now," she said, and the tone was guttural and full of need, and he pulled her legs around him and pushed in, kissing her as he went excruciatingly slowly, bringing fingers into the mix, until she was clawing his back and calling out. He held her close, murmuring how good it felt inside her, how great it felt to have her come around him. He was still going slow and she said, "Faster."

 

He sped up some.

 

"Harder." She squeezed down on him. It still wasn't enough. "Harder."

 

He looked over at Raffi.

 

She nodded. "She'll tell you if it's too much. If you do it right, she'll come again for you."

 

"I don't want to hurt her."

 

"You won't, Liam. You'd never." Her voice was gentle and Seven met her eyes, smiling at her, thanking her. "Just let go and make our woman happy."

 

"Fuck. You two..." And then he started to go, hard and fast and just how she needed it. She met his eyes, wanted him to see how much she needed him, how she was his. His smile was ferocious as he eased her so she was lying back on the table, his rhythm perfect as he held her hips, as she felt herself making the climb again, pleasure so close, and then she was going, crying out loudly, hearing Raffi say, "You two are so fucking beautiful," and then he was going too.

 

He pulled her up and she wrapped her legs around him, keeping him close as he shuddered against her. Then she lifted her face to his and he kissed her, and this time the kiss was possessive, not just loving.

 

"You're mine." Then he laughed and looked over at Raffi. "Ours."

 

"She can be yours while you're coming down from an orgasm." She kicked off the counter. "I am so turned on right now."

 

Seven felt boneless so she met his eyes, and the wordless communication they'd used on so many missions worked here too. He eased out of her and moved the mugs off the table then walked over to Raffi, kissing her gently, then less so. Taking her clothing off and doing it slowly, getting to know her luscious body as he went. Then he brought her to the table to lie next to Seven, pulled a chair over and sat down in front of her, and leaned in.

 

Raffi reached for her hand as Liam went down on her. "Holy shit."

 

"You get this first. He's good?"

 

"Oh my God yes."

 

"Better than I am?"

 

"Now's not really the time for getting competitive, babe."

 

"You're right. It's time for cooperation." She rolled over and began to play with Raffi's breasts.

 

For a moment she thought Raffi was going to push her off, that it was too much, but then she threw her head back and laughed, the sweetest laugh, so full of pleasure and trust.

 

"Does she like it hard?" Liam asked as he eased away long enough to add fingers to the mix.

 

"Not like I do. But let her know you're there."

 

"Well, duh." He was playing as he stuck his tongue out at her and then leaned back in.

 

Seven eased up so she could watch Raffi's face. "I love you so much."

 

"I love you too." And then she was closing her eyes and calling out and bucking against Liam's mouth and fingers and finally she lay still.

 

He stood and Seven saw he was hard again.

 

"Do you want him inside you? He needs us."

 

Raffi was in the post-orgasmic haze she sometimes went to. Seven grinned and slipped off the table, pushing him back onto the chair and then straddling him as she slid onto him.

 

"I hope you don't mind if it's me again."

 

He kissed her so sweetly as she rode him, going slow, making him groan in need.

 

"How hard do you like to be ridden, Liam?"

 

"Hard. I'll tell you if it's too much." His grin was like a little boy's, so mischievous. "I want to watch your breasts bounce."

 

"Of course you do." She started to move faster, laughing at his expression, then at his helplessness as she got him just where he needed to be, as he clawed at her this time, then crushed her to him as he called out.

 

They sat like that for the longest time, just holding each other, murmuring loving things. Then she felt Raffi's arm on her shoulder.

 

"What do you want for breakfast?"

 

They both turned to her and she kissed first Liam, then her.

 

"My usual," Seven said.

 

"Liam five." He pulled her back and kissed her for a long time. "I love you too, Raffi. Not just her. Thank you for giving us this."

 

She traced his lips. "I love you too." Then she met Seven's eyes. "I'm glad we came over. Could be here to take care of you."

 

There was a world of things being said that he'd never understand.

 

And that was perfectly fine.

 

 

10.

 

They'd played all day, and now lay sated in bed. Shaw had his eyes closed, listening to Seven's breath, slow in sleep. Listening to Raffi's, not restful.

 

When she got out of bed, when he heard the faucet turn on then off in the kitchen and the sliding glass door opening to the balcony, he got up and followed her out.

 

"You okay?" he asked as gently as he could.

 

She nodded but didn't look at him.

 

He sat across from her rather than on the loveseat next to her. "You had her all to yourself. This is maybe a little weird?"

 

"Maybe?" Her tone was even, not angry, but not amused. She turned to him. "Let's make an agreement. For right now at least, let's embrace what my other son calls absolute candor."

 

"You have two sons?"

 

"Elnor is Romulan."

 

The name was familiar. The first Romulan at the academy. Her son. "Oh. Okay. And sure, we can try absolute candor. Because I don't think you're okay."

 

"I'm not, Liam. I didn't wake up one day and say: 'You know, I'd really like a third for this relationship.'" She studied him. "Did you want that from her?"

 

"No." Absolute candor wasn't that hard when he already was pretty forthright. "But she loves you and either I wait and hope you two fall apart—which is a grisly idea since I think you're great together—or I join in. I do feel something for you, Raffi. It's not what I feel for her but it could grow into that."

 

"I agree. And I was in a similar situation. Expand what I was willing to do to keep her or lose her. I really think she'd have left me for you." She took a deep breath. "But here's the thing. I've never, in all my time with her, worn her out with sex. She's in there sleeping like a baby and sleep doesn't come easily to her."

 

He considered what she was saying. "Do you think I could wear her out?"

 

"I don't know. Chakotay couldn't. She's different in a lot of ways because she was Borg—what if this is one of them?"

 

"Libido?"

 

"What if it's not libido? What if it's a need for connection beyond a pair? She had a whole collective."

 

"You think she wants us, not you or me?"

 

She shrugged.

 

"Not to be crass but she had two people doing their level best to fuck her into exhaustion. You and I had fun too, but absolute candor requires me to note that our focus was her. She is also generally wiped out right now from learning how to be a captain. I think assuming she needs three to be happy—or sexually satisfied—is a radical interpretation."

 

"Yeah, well, I'm famous for my radical interpretations."

 

"I know. And usually right. But maybe in this case you're not. Are you sure you don't just want to redo what's happened? Come out to the kitchen this morning and tell us to stop?"

 

"If I hadn't come out, how far would you have gone?" Her tone was accusing now.

 

"You want me to say all the way? You want me to say that we'd have cheated on you? But would it have been cheating? Shouldn't this be fluid?"

 

She nodded but didn't look at him.

 

"Do you wish I wasn't going to be on the ship? So you could leave me behind and have her to yourself most of the time? So I'd just be a treat you two could play with?"

 

"Are you going to hate me if I say yes?"

 

"No. I'd feel the same way in your position."

 

"If I asked you to, would you end this? Tell her it was great but you can't see it working full time. That you want just her. See what she does—who she chooses?"

 

He felt a heaviness descending between them. "I wouldn't. Because frankly, I'm up for this. So maybe that's what you need to say to her." He got up but she reached out and grabbed his hand.

 

"That was a hypothetical."

 

"A hypothetical in which I'm the bad guy. Do I deserve that, Raff? Sure I fell in love with her, but she was under my command. And while she might not have realized what was happening between us, I sure as shit did even if I disassociated, tried to let the friction be enough. Because I wasn't about to do anything that might tarnish her reputation when she'd finally been let into Starfleet. You weren't there when that happened. Now you are, but I can't stop how I feel about her." He let her pull him down next to her. "I don't want to."

 

"Well, I can't stop what I feel either. So how do we handle this—handle her?"

 

"Is it even up to the two of you?" Seven's voice behind them made them both whirl. She walked onto the balcony and sat in the chair he'd vacated. "I woke up alone. I thought I'd find you two making love. I was hoping I would. But instead you're...what? Deciding my life for me?"

 

She crossed her legs, the t-shirt of his she was wearing riding up, showing off her thighs. "Does this have to be complicated? Why can't we just love each other? It's been so nice all day."

 

He met her eyes, was unsure what to say. He heard Raffi start to say something and Seven's eyes narrowed. Like no matter what was said was going to piss her off.

 

And suddenly he felt horrible. Like he really had come between them because Raffi was the woman she'd picked for her first officer. They were a good team. This could destroy that.

 

Unless he made it his problem and not Raffi's. "Don't blame her. I just want you. Raffi and I have been hashing that out."

 

"Shaw, what are you doing?" Raffi sounded truly flabbergasted.

 

"I'm just saying what I feel." He turned to her, said as quietly as he could. "For the sake of your command team."

 

Then he turned but before he could get to the door, Raffi said, "He's lying. I'm the one who's feeling unsure."

 

Seven hadn't moved, was watching them with an expression he wasn't sure how to read on her face. "Unsure?"

 

"If you'll still need me once you have him. If you'll still love me." She took a deep, ragged breath. "I think maybe you two need to be together for a while. Without me."

 

"That's not necessary," he said, seeing how much it was hurting her to say that. "I came into this. I'm the interloper. You don't need to do this." He met her eyes, then turned to Seven. "I'll back away gracefully."

 

He expected one of several reactions: anger or hurt, possibly an eye roll and derision. He did not expect her to smile at them both so sweetly. "Look at you two protecting each other from being the bad guy. Call me crazy, but that looks a lot like love."

 

Then she stood and said, "I'm going back to bed. I'd prefer it if you both came with me. But if you need to stay out here and work things out—however that needs to be done: talking, sparring, fucking—that's fine. Just keep it down because you two wore me out." She winked at them and walked back into the apartment, and then into the bedroom.

 

"Uhhhh." He started to laugh. "She never goes the way I think."

 

"Right there with you."

 

"So you want to talk or spar or..."

 

She stood, held out her hand, pulled him into the apartment, closed the door behind them and the drapes, then stripped off his pajama bottoms and the shirt he'd given her to wear. "If it's not clear to you yet, I want to fuck."

 

"Good thing you explained that. I would never have gotten it." He grinned at her. "You sure?"

 

She pushed him onto the couch and crawled on top of him, not taking him in yet, just kissing him.

 

It was different this time, no Seven to concentrate on—to distract them. He knew this was a test of sorts.

 

She looked very vulnerable, so he kept things soft, loving, touching her with as much tenderness as he could. She was doing the same back, until she lifted up and positioned him and slid down.

 

He'd been inside her more than once during the day. Made her come multiple times. But until now, they'd never...connnected.

 

He thought they'd never allowed themselves to.

 

Her eyes were half lidded, her mouth curved into a sensuous smile. He buried his hands in her hair and pulled her closer, kissing her as she moved on top of him. He reached between them, knowing how she liked to be touched, groaning as she increased the pace. They never stopped kissing through it, not when she came, calling out into his mouth, not when he did, holding her tightly so she wouldn't leave him. She'd left him so quickly before.

 

But she didn't even try. She just relaxed and moaned happily as he rubbed her back, as he rocked a little, as she cradled her head on his shoulder.

 

"I don't want just her." He whispered it because it seemed like such an important truth. "I want the chance to really fall in love with you, Raff."

 

"I know. I do too." She yawned and said, "I think I can sleep now."

 

"Same here."

 

She eased off him, handed him his pajamas and slipped the shirt back on. Then they walked hand in hand to the bedroom.

 

Seven had been in the middle. She'd moved to the left and was facing away from them.

 

He smiled and said, "Middle or side?"

 

"Middle." She eased into bed, spooned Seven, and then he spooned her. "Goodnight, Liam."

 

"Goodnight, Raffi."

 

 

11

 

Seven was having a hard time keeping a stupid smile off her face as she finished up in her ready room and went to sit next to Raffi.

 

Who also looked like the cat who'd eaten the canary—or just their boyfriend.

 

"Ready for the promotion ceremony?" Raffi was talking in the low command murmur they were perfecting.

 

"Liam will be there. We're grabbing lunch after."

 

Raffi laughed softly. "Only fair since I had him for breakfast."

 

"I've created a monster." But she knew her expression was a good one, a happy one. She wanted them to do this. To forge their own relationship.

 

Even if she hadn't expected to come out and find him sitting on the table and her sitting on the chair going down on him.

 

Should they be eating at that table?

 

Hopefully he was sanitizing it between sessions.

 

"Going off campus?" Raffi asked.

 

She nodded with the silly smile threatening again.

 

"Gonna make out like teenagers in a back booth?"

 

She cackled before she could stop herself. Fortunately the bridge crew were used to that. "Possibly. If we leave the city."

 

Raffi reached down and squeezed her hand. "Thank you, by the way. For what you said last night. And I'm sorry we were deciding your fate without you."

 

"No, you're not. You're just sorry you got caught. Same with him." She laughed at her expression. "I know you, lady. I love you anyway, but I do know you." She peeked around to make sure everyone was facing forward and then gave Raffi a quick kiss. "I really do love you," she said.

 

"I really do love you too. Now git before you're late for your first big promotion shindig. I used to go to those with JL. The protocol people are insane what with the families coming in and high-falutin captains and commodores and admirals." She winked at her.

 

"I'll see you later." She hurried to the lift and the transporter room because Raffi was right: she did not want to be late for this.

 

She saw Liam waiting for her, his look untroubled. He was so used to her making it...barely.

 

"Nothing changes, my love," he murmured as he led her in.

 

"I made it."

 

"Yes, that's what you always say." He was standing super close to her, and she looked up at him and smiled in a way that was probably a little too fond.

 

But she was too happy to care.

 

As she followed him down the row to where the brass who weren't doing the pinning of new pips on were sitting, she felt as if she was being watched. Once they were seated, she scanned the crowd and saw Chakotay on the other side of the room. Staring at her in a not very friendly way.

 

She did not understand his sudden obsession with her. Or possibly with Liam because he was staring at him too.

 

"What's going on?" Liam murmured in their own way of communicating, nearly subvocal.

 

"Not sure." She brushed his hand. "Doesn't matter."

 

His look back was incredibly tender. Then he turned his attention to the stage where Kathryn was taking her spot at the podium.

 

Seven thought she looked amazing. Being head of fleets ops suited her and the rumor going around command was that she would soon be named CINC. As Kathryn scanned the crowd, she smiled at selected people, including Seven who grinned back.

 

She glanced over Liam without the hostility Seven had noticed in Chakotay's eyes so whatever was going on wasn't a problem for her, just him.

 

Which she just didn't understand. He'd left her. He'd left her after admitting he'd never stopped loving Kathryn. He'd left her when Starfleet had rejected her and Kathryn had threatened to resign. She'd withdrawn that threat when Seven had asked her to.

 

But Chakotay had told Seven to ask her to. That it was unfair to take two lives down after all that Kathryn had done for her. Which was true.

 

But it would have been nice if just once his loyalty had been to her.

 

She'd left the civilized part of the quadrant and joined the Rangers. Because everything hurt just a little too much. Because she felt like she had no home. Because her people had turned out not to be hers.

 

It had taken till Liam chose her for his first officer despite all the baggage her Borg history brought for him for her to feel like she finally had found her place.

 

A hostile at times place with him using a name she didn't love but it was better than being a Ranger. Or second in someone's heart. With second being a huge distance from first, like sapphire to diamond—one level down on the MOHS scale, but an order of magnitude when you looked at the absolute hardness.

 

She felt Liam's leg pushing against hers gently, bringing her back to the present. Smiling, she decided to forget about whatever was up Chakotay's butt and focus on all the happy people.

 

She didn't know very many of them but Liam did, and he hooted as appropriate. She loved his enthusiasm, the way he could throw himself into things.

 

He suddenly frowned and pulled his padd out, reading quickly. Then he leaned in and whispered. "B'Elanna just scheduled a meeting for early afternoon. I know we wanted to get the hell out of town for lunch, but is the cafeteria okay?"

 

She turned so her lips were on his ear. "Anywhere with you is wonderful."

 

He gave her a huge grin then turned back to the ceremony.

 

As soon as it was over, they headed to the cafeteria, grabbing food and finding a two-person table that had a little privacy.

 

"This weekend was incredible," he said softly. "And completely unexpected given how it started. It means the world that you both wanted to take care of me."

 

She put her hand on his. "Seems to me everyone took care of everyone."

 

"Yeah, we sure did." He glanced at her hand. "You're sending a message with that. You sure you're ready to?"

 

"I am. But if you're not ready—"

 

"Stow that thought. I am so ready. But I'm just shy of retirement. You're just starting."

 

"I'm good with the message I'm sending. I guess the bigger question is what about when it's three of us. How open?" They'd talked about a lot of things but that wasn't one of them.

 

"I'm open to whatever you and Raff want." He studied her. "You were in the driver's seat. You were the one we both loved. To...encourage us to build our own thing. You constantly surprise me. You're so brave."

 

"I'm not actually." She took a deep breath, thought about whether this story needed to be told now, but it felt right. "I know that you both love me. And, unless I come in and find you writing me a Dear Seven note, I'm fine with the book you two will write."

 

He grinned.

 

"Because I know what it's like to be in something where you're not loved. Where you're a substitute. Only you didn't know it going in. You were in love but they loved someone else. And after the initial glow of newness faded, you were left in a relationship that froze you." She met his eyes, realized she was tearing up and said, "God damn it. Give me a minute."

 

"As many as you need, Sev. We're talking about Chuckles, right?"

 

She nodded, laughing as always at the name he'd given Chakotay.

 

"He's warm. And zen. And spiritual. And anyone who knows him would never believe how fucking cold it can be in his bed. I mean I wasn't an idiot. I knew he had feelings for Kathryn. But she wasn't going to say yes and I was so..."

 

"Young. The word you're looking for is young. Emotionally, anyway. Romantically."

 

"Yeah. He was kind and gentle, until he realized she was looking back finally. And then he froze my heart and broke it into so many pieces." She took a deep breath. "But I'm not here to bitch about him. I'm here to show you that when I say I trust you, that I don't feel excluded, that I wanted Raffi to feel part of this—well, now you know why. I don't ever want anyone to feel that. So fucking alone with someone right next to them."

 

He stood enough to pull her across the small two-person table, for their lips to meet, his gentle—a benediction rather than seduction.

 

"Wow," came from her side and she heard a chair being slid over.

 

Chakotay's voice. His fucking icy voice coated in his hypocritical honeyed tones. She moved on instinct, ready to protect, ready to punish.

 

And came up short because Liam was holding on to her shoulders. "Stand down, Hansen," he murmured, putting her exactly where she needed to be mentally—his first officer, his to mentor. His to stop from being overly reckless.

 

She closed her eyes. "No murdering the admiral?"

 

"Well, at least not in a crowded cafeteria. Way too many witnesses." As she laughed, he turned to Chakotay. "I don't know what your fucking problem is with her—or is it with us?—but take a goddamn seat and let's talk."

 

She had to give Chakotay credit. He slid into the seat like his face hadn't been about to meet her fist.

 

"What exactly is your problem, sir?" Liam asked.

 

He smiled, the gently teasing smile that first won her heart but now she knew hid every mood he had. "Kissing in the cafeteria. Quite a show."

 

"Unlike you, who seems to be quite the voyeur, I doubt that anyone really paid us all that much mind, being in a back corner like we are." Liam gave him the smile that never meant anything good and it made her so happy. "You get off on watching her make out with me. Kind of pervy."

 

"Are you or are you not involved with Commander Musiker?" Even though she knew the question was for her, Chakotay wasn't looking her way, too busy playing "Who's more macho" eye chicken with Liam.

 

"Yes," Liam said.

 

"You don't need to answer for her."

 

"I wouldn't presume to."

 

She laughed softly. Trust Liam to couch the truth in such dripping sarcasm that Chakotay couldn't see what he was saying any better than she had the day she'd gone to him for help with the changeling and he'd essentially recited her officer review.

 

Chakotay finally looked at her. "So you have someone you love waiting for you and you're dicking around with your former captain?"

 

"I just have to point out the irony is high here." Liam's voice oozed disapproval.

 

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated, Shaw." Chakotay looked legitimately pissed off. "I know B'Elanna wants you on Seven's ship but I wonder if that's a good idea. And I know the head of Fleet Ops—she who can override just about any decision."

 

"And rumor is she'll soon be CINC and can override every fucking decision. Okay, if you're going to get all pissy about it, I've got an idea." Liam slapped his combadge. "Commodore Shaw to Commander Musiker."

 

She smiled because Raffi would know immediately he was using titles for a reason. "Musiker here, sir."

 

"Can you get down to the cafeteria? Seven and I have something to tell you. Shouldn't take long."

 

"Okey dokey."

 

Seven did laugh at that. Liam was rubbing off on her.

 

They sat in a weird silence—even though Liam ate through it because he did have a meeting to get to and nobody wanted to deal with a hangry Liam Shaw—and then he looked over at the entrance and motioned Raffi over. "Pull up a chair, Commander."

 

Chakotay got up and got her one, moving his to make room for her. "Please."

 

"Thanks?" She sat and then turned to Liam. "What's up, sir?"

 

It was such a bratty thing to say given their weekend and Seven could see Liam was almost losing it so she intervened. "We have important news. Liam and I kissed in the cafeteria."

 

She didn't miss a beat. "Open mouth or chaste peck?"

 

"Chaste peck," Seven said but Liam went, "No, there was a little tongue."

 

"Hmmm. Okay four Hail Marys and you owe me one of those eclairs I like from Salucci's." She looked at Chakotay. "Sir, with all due respect, you're the senior officer. You could have granted them absolution on your own. I do however recommend the eclairs."

 

He started to laugh, the soft laugh that usually happened when Tom Paris had gotten him good. "Fuck me. You're all together?"

 

"Yes." Seven decided she should speak for them. "Do you have a problem with that?"

 

"No." He sighed and grabbed a cookie off Liam's plate.

 

"Hey."

 

"Stress eating," he told Raffi and she nodded sympathetically. "I was worried they were cheating on you."

 

She gave him the Raffi eye of utter disapproval. "And that was your business how?"

 

"Yeah, I'm wondering that too." Liam moved his cookies out of reach as Chakotay finished the first one.

 

Chakotay looked at Seven. "I've never said I'm sorry. I was your first and I think we both know I shouldn't have been. I know that you loved me, though, and our first love teaches us—whether we like it or not—what love is like. And I sucked." He looked at Raffi. "I was worried she was doing to you what I did to her."

 

"So you actually fucked around on her?" Liam asked. "With your former captain?"

 

"Yes," both she and Chakotay said together.

 

He met her eyes. "I was never sure if you knew."

 

"Give me that much credit. Jesus." She felt herself retreating a bit, reliving, the frostbite of daily life back then reaching out for her.

 

But then Raffi took one hand and Liam reached for the other. And she felt warm and loved and safe and...home. Finally home.

 

"She's open and honest, sir. She loves with a ferocious loyalty that you would have been lucky to have experienced." Raffi smiled gently at her. "She's brave and she's generous. And she cares so much, in so many ways. She'd never hurt me the way you think."

 

Seven shared a wry look with her. God knew she'd hurt her a lot of other ways. But she'd never cheated on her.

 

"I'm glad to hear that." He looked at Liam. "Nothing to add?"

 

"Two brilliant women sitting here. Why would I need to add jack shit?"

 

"You're less of an asshole than I thought. Tom tried to tell me that but he's sort of a dick too when he wants to be."

 

"Not the same kind," Seven said with a grin to Liam. A grin that meant several things and he laughed because of course he got it.

 

"Well, since we got that all cleared up, I'll tell Kathryn you're coming over to dinner." He stood and moved his chair back to the table he'd stolen it from.

 

"I don't have to come," Raffi said quickly.

 

He turned back to her, laid his hand gently on her shoulder and beamed at her. "You were right about everything. I think she owes you at least dinner, don't you?"

 

Raffi nodded, suddenly lost in the dreamy zen thing he could manufacture at will.

 

"Raff!" she said and Raffi shook herself and said, "Right. Dinner. Someday."

 

"Sorry I intruded." And with that he was gone.

 

"You realize Janeway is going to be CINC, right?" Raffi glared at both of them. "When you two decide to out us, you go big."

 

"We didn't decide to out us. She was telling me about that douchebag and I just wanted to comfort her."

 

"With your lips?"

 

"Well, yeah. The weekend looms large in recent memory." He gave her a very intense look and she actually blushed.

 

Seven just laughed. "Well, at least he won't be glaring at me anymore. Couldn't he have just apologized and then asked what was going on?"

 

"No because he's an idiot." Liam glanced at the clock on the wall. "Fuck, and he took up all my time. I gotta go or B'Elanna will kill me."

 

"Come up to the ship for dinner." She glanced at Raffi who added, "And a sleepover."

 

"We need a bigger bed," he said, but not in the way of a man bemoaning a wish that would never come true.

 

More like a man who knew exactly the reg to quote to get them one.

 

Just one more reason to love him.

 

 

12.

 

Raffi was changing out of her uniform, into something more comfortable, when Seven came in. She slipped her leather jacket on and Seven frowned.

 

"Are you cold? Is it too cold on the ship?"

 

"No, I'm going out." She walked over to Seven and pulled her to her, kissing her to try to stop her from giving reasons to not go out.

 

Only Seven wasn't being stopped. "But Liam..."

 

The chime sounded and they both said, "Come," and Liam walked in, frowning at Raffi and asking, "You cold or something?"

 

She laughed at how alike they could be. "Guys, change of plans. I'm meeting Worf for dinner. He needs to talk to me."

 

Both of them frowned even more deeply.

 

Then Liam said, "He needs to talk to you over dinner?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Why?"

 

Seven seemed content to let him give her the third degree, leaning against the bureau and crossing her arms over her chest as she kept her expression stern.

 

"Liam, Worf is my friend. Friends have dinner together."

 

"Does having dinner mean something different in Klingon?"

 

She laughed. "No."

 

Seven was watching her with a look Raffi couldn't quite read. "Do it another night. We had plans."

 

"And now you two have plans. Have a date without me. It'll be fun." She could see Seven wasn't moved. "Look, it's about Elnor. Okay?"

 

Liam looked confused but stayed silent, but Seven rolled her eyes and sighed.

 

"You have a comment about that?"

 

"He wishes to speak of Elnor?"

 

"Yes. God knows it'll be a novelty since you never do."

 

That fell like a bomb, exploding right into the middle of them, only Liam wouldn't understand the history. The fact that Raffi had thought Elnor had been their son, not her son, but Seven had left anyway.

 

Raffi could tell Seven felt it. Her eyes went dead, the way they used to, when things were dying between them and they were too stubborn to start CPR before their relationship was gone completely.

 

"Do you want me to go?" Liam asked very softly.

 

"Why would I want you to go, Liam?" That moment had passed the minute she kissed him—she'd known it was stupid then. She should have told him to leave her girlfriend alone; she should have told him to have someone else do his goddamned gorgeous eyes.

 

He looked at Seven who shook her head and said, "Let her go. You can't reason with her when she's in this mood."

 

That hurt, just as Seven had no doubt intended. "I'm not sure how late I'll be. Don't wait up."

 

"It's just dinner. Why would you be late?" Liam sounded hurt and confused and also jealous.

 

She met his eyes. "Because I don't know if I'll need to talk to Elnor after."

 

He nodded because of course that made sense, of course it did.

 

Seven's expression hadn't changed, but Raffi could almost feel the resignation pulsing off of her. The recognition of a familiar road they'd been down before.

 

"Hon', it's just dinner."

 

"Are you unhappy?" Her voice was broken. "With us? With me? But this afternoon you weren't."

 

"This afternoon we weren't talking about Elnor. You know I've been talking this ship up to him but I don't even know if you want him on it. Because we don't talk about him."

 

"I didn't know you wanted to. You talk about Gabe and Pel and Evie. I figured if you wanted to talk about Elnor, you would."

 

"Is he welcome here?"

 

"Yes. And he knows me well enough to come to me on his own."

 

"But I'm here so he should come to me."

 

"That's nepotism, Raffi." Liam's voice was exceedingly gentle. "Better that Seven does it if you really were his legal guardian."

 

"Do not quote regs to me right now."

 

He held up his hands, his face stony. "I wasn't actually. But I'm clearly getting in the middle of something I don't understand, so I'll butt out."

 

Seven moved closer to him, almost got between the two of them. "You don't want to keep Worf waiting. Klingons can be such little bitches when they're hurt."

 

"Hansen," Liam said, and Raffi expected her to punch him but instead she sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Raffi. Enjoy your dinner. We'll do the same."

 

"Will you be here when I get back?"

 

Seven shrugged. "If we are, then we'll see you. They're your quarters too now."

 

"Theoretically. Not on the housing chart."

 

She could tell that pissed Seven off too.

 

"Have a good meal, Raff." Liam pulled Seven back to him, his arm going over her chest as she reached up and held on. He kissed her cheek softly as he made the head movement that unmistakably said for Raffi to go.

 

She hurried out.

 

She felt so many emotions. Guilt for blowing things up when they'd been so nice earlier. Anger that Elnor was forever a non-subject between them.

 

And fear. That if she let herself fall further into this, further into Liam especially, she might end up losing not just one person but two. Because that's what she did: she lost things she cared about. And a lot of the time it was her fault—for pushing, for trying to control.

 

For always wanting something more.

 

Wanting the next hit—of whatever drug she was on. And she was self aware enough to know that at times, Seven was a drug for her. In a way no lover ever had been.

 

But was that bad? Or just how love should be? It wasn't like she'd had a lot of experience with being in love sober.

 

Worf was waiting for her at the restaurant, an informal warren of rooms where no table was close to any other. His smile was easy and uncomplicated, which was ironic given he was, well, him. The mystery man who had taken her obsession, used it for good, seen her through that more or less involuntary relapse, had her back unceasingly, and gave her back her family when the mission was over.

 

He allowed her to hug him. "It is good to see you. Comms are handy but at times not as satisfying as personal contact."

 

"Agreed. And this place—very intel friendly."

 

"Yes. It is why I like it." He smiled at her with a mischievous look as they were seated. "Also the lamb is delicious."

 

"I don't like lamb."

 

"They have other things." He asked her about the ship, about her job, then finally, after they had ordered and been brought their beverages, said, "I wish to speak of Elnor."

 

"So you said." She broke a date—and possibly damaged two hearts a little—for this so he damned well better.

 

"The position of my executive aide has come open. He has expressed interest and I find his character and resume compelling. But...I am unsure if you are attempting to get him on your ship."

 

"Ironically, it has recently been brought to my attention that I really shouldn't be making other people's life choices for them." Moreover, Elnor hadn't asked about a slot on the ship despite how much she'd talked about it to him. Working him a little to try to get him to think about a security position the same way she'd worked him before—even though she wasn't even sure if Seven wanted him on the ship. "I think he should do what he wants."

 

God, that felt good. Letting go and trusting. Would it feel as good to let go and truly trust Seven and Liam? She had earlier in the day, with Chakotay. But when Worf brought up Elnor, it had stirred up old resentment. The guilt that her son had been saved while Seven's had not been. The anger that this should even matter. The hurt that Seven would never love him the way Raffi wanted her to.

 

"Are you listening to me, Raffaela?" Worf looked amused.

 

"No. Sorry. Lost in thought. I'll do better."

 

"I was saying I would value him highly. And while the job is not without its risks, I would seek to protect him."

 

She took a deep breath. She'd never forgotten the horrible feeling of Elnor being taken from her—the fear of it happening again. But he was no safer on her ship than with Worf. "I know you would."

 

"Then I shall let him know the position is his." He looked down, then out the window. Anywhere but at her.

 

"Worf, we didn't need to meet for dinner to settle that. What's going on?"

 

"You are, as ever, perceptive."

 

"Are you all right? Is the job—"

 

"I am fine. It is you I wish to talk about." He took a deep breath. "I was in the cafeteria today."

 

"Ohhhhhh."

 

"I will admit I was enraged when I saw Commodore Shaw kiss Captain Seven. By the disrespect I thought they were both showing you. But then Admiral Chakotay stepped in and then you arrived. And it was clear there was humor and...accord." He met her eyes. "I have been respectful of your relationship with Captain Seven of Nine because I thought she was your Jadzia—your heart match. And I thought you were hers, but now she is with Shaw."

 

"We both are, Worf."

 

"Yes, I ascertained that. But would you be if she were not interested in him? And is that how you would naturally choose to be loved? Would you not wish to be...central? Crucial?" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, never looking away from her. "Singular?"

 

"Wait, is this...is this a date?"

 

"I am attempting to woo you."

 

"But I'm with them."

 

"Has it been for long?"

 

"No."

 

"Is it better than being with Seven alone?"

 

"I—I don't know yet. It's new." And possibly over if they were really mad at her for being so bitchy.

 

"Then I should be allowed to compete for your heart. Your relationship with Seven of Nine was longstanding and I respected that. This is no longer that. I would like you to consider me."

 

She let her eyebrows go way, way up.

 

"I am rushing this, I know. We have worked together well, Raffaela. I enjoy our private conversations but they have been over comms. I would like the chance to interact with you socially in person while your ship is still docked here. I understand you will be with the two of them while we explore this. But perhaps, in time, you will find my offer more tempting. Will you at least give us time together outside of work to get to know each other better?"

 

She met his eyes. "I know you're in love with me."

 

"And I know you are not, yet, in love with me. But there is chemistry and it would be a lie for you to deny it."

 

"It would. But..." Damn it. Why now?

 

"I have angered you?"

 

"No. You're acting like a good Klingon and a good intelligence officer. Striking at the moment when the enemy is weak. The relationship still...tentative."

 

"Yes." He leaned in. "If you truly have no interest in letting me pursue you, then you must leave now. Honor demands it."

 

"Honor also demands that I tell them I'm letting you do it—if I decide that I'm going to."

 

"They will not be pleased with me if you tell them."

 

"Does that concern you?"

 

"Not in the least. But I admire your honor in being honest with them."

 

"I'm not saying yes. But I'm hungry and don't see the harm of staying here to eat the meal I ordered."

 

"A self-delusion. The harm is that you are telling me yes without being honest about it with anyone—not me, not them, and not yourself."

 

"Here's some goddamned honesty, Worf. I love her. I believe I could love him too—I certainly enjoy having sex with him."

 

He finally looked a little defeated.

 

"I'm sorry, but you're pushing." The ultimate irony—she'd met her match when it came to that.

 

"I regret that, but I must act now before you are in too deep, before your ship is away. And ask yourself this—will Liam Shaw love you the way you need and deserve? Would he even be with you if being with her did not depend on it?"

 

She looked away. Since being with Seven also depended on her sharing with him too. She wasn't sure which of them Seven would choose if forced to have only one. "He could just wait for us to fall apart again. Have her all to himself. He's not doing that."

 

"But you were exes multiple times. I have been told the human definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result."

 

"There's another saying about try, try again. There's a human saying for everything, as you well know, Worf Rozhenko." She saw the waiters coming with the first course.

 

Thank fucking God.

 

She needed a break from his too insightful questions—and tantalizing offer of exclusivity.

 

Shit. It was tantalizing. Why? She'd been enjoying their little throuple. So, so much.

 

But was it a lifestyle or did it feel like stuff you do on vacation, before you go back to real life?

 

Clearly for Liam and Seven, it was a lifestyle. And they'd said they wanted the three of them to be exclusive during one of their talks between sex last weekend.

 

She hadn't said she would, had joked: "Yeah, right, like I'm going to look for more when I have this?" She thought they'd taken her non-answer though to mean she would be exclusive.

 

Because she had been exclusive. To Seven.

 

But it wasn't just Seven anymore. And she hadn't fucking asked for this.

 

God damn it.

 

She glared at Worf over the scallops she'd ordered. "You know I'm overthinking this now."

 

"I am counting on it."

 

##

 

Shaw watched as the door closed behind Raffi. "There's a ton I'm missing here." He turned Seven so he could see her face. "Let's start with Elnor?"

 

"Let's not." She pulled away and he let her go. She didn't go far.

 

"So you really don't talk about him?"

 

She did the shrug/hand movement that she meant to indicate "Seems so" but he knew meant "I'm lying for a good reason." She'd used it on him when he wanted to know why one of his conference rooms was reserved but no name was on it. And the bridge crew kept disappearing. And oh yeah, it was his birthday.

 

He never let her know she'd given the surprise party away with that gesture. Because the thing was, in the middle of an argument, Seven was never out of cogent, cutting words unless she was trying to hide something.

 

And she'd gone easy on Raffi just now too.

 

He still didn't want to give away her tell so he said, "I think maybe there's more to this than a place for him on the ship. Did you just not gel with him or what?"

 

She turned to look at him and he could see the struggle inside her by just the way her expression was...lost.

 

"You can tell me anything."

 

"I know. But I'm making a choice to tell you things I've never told her."

 

He waited, not wanting to push her. This had to be her decision.

 

"Can we go somewhere and eat, Liam? I'm starving."

 

He held out his hand and they walked out of her room and all the way to the transporter room, never letting go. Even in a crowded lift that became less so as they went.

 

Ohk got on at one point, looked at their hands, shook her head and muttered, "Do I want to know?"

 

"No."

 

"Awesome. Have a good night." And she was gone and the others on the lift were all studiously trying to ignore the fact that their former and current commanding officers were behind them holding hands and standing probably way too close.

 

Fuck. He glanced at Seven and saw amusement in her eyes. When they got off the lift she said, "We never cease to provide some kind of fodder for the rumor mill."

 

"We sure don't." He had the transporter tech beam them to the French Quarter in New Orleans, took her hand again as soon as they were clear of the transporter padd, and walked with her to his favorite restaurant, one that had a huge outdoor terrace.

 

There was a minimal wait and she cuddled into him, her arms around him, every now and then lifting her face to his for a kiss.

 

He couldn't lie: he loved having her all to himself. Not having to split his attention. Being able to offer comfort for once instead of giving her constant shit and calling her by a name she didn't like. "Do you hate when I call you Hansen?" he whispered.

 

"Not the way you've been doing it lately. It works. It resets me almost."

 

"Good."

 

A hostess called his last name and they followed her to a table near a small fountain. Once they had wine and their orders placed, he leaned in and said, "However much you want to tell me is fine."

 

"Have you met Elnor?"

 

He shook his head. "I know of him, of course. First Romulan at the Academy. Who doesn't, right?"

 

She nodded and her smile was beautiful and proud and he narrowed his eyes and asked, "You really love him, don't you?"

 

"I really do." She took his hand, just played for a while, rubbing her fingers over the pads of his palm so lightly it was soothing rather than arousing. "He and I have our own relationship, one that has nothing to do with Raffi and never did."

 

"Not romantic?"

 

"No. He was the reason I was on the Artifact. He activated an SOS calling card I gave a friend. A friend he was helping fight off the Tal Shiar. A friend who died." She seemed very far away. "He was with me as we—I—stole the Artifact."

 

"That's not what the reports say. Our group was abuzz with news of that thing moving."

 

"I bet." She met his eyes. "You don't want to know how I got it going."

 

"I really, really believe you."

 

Her smile was gently amused. "Needless to say, he and I had time to bond. And I identified with him. A shining toy for a Starfleet legend until he was abandoned."

 

"Yikes."

 

"Yeah. When Picard died—before they were sure the synth body would work and most of us thought he really was dead—Raffi was just leveled. And Elnor had pain I knew I was in no position to help with. So I sent him to her. He needed to be loved and she needed to love something. It was perfect."

 

"But that left you out in the cold?"

 

"No, not really. Because Elnor is a matchmaker at heart. He's the reason I got to know her. I was initially more interested in someone else, someone whose pain matched my own, the way yours does. But I could see he had complicated feelings for someone else so I held back, and then Elnor made sure Raffi and I kept running into each other and nature ran its course." Her smile was fond, gentle as he'd ever seen it. "The reason I don't think of him as my son is because he was my friend first. Does that make sense?"

 

"Absolutely." He sighed because he was going to push this past this lovely little story. "But still, the ship, how hard to talk to him?"

 

"I have talked to him about it. He came to me. He doesn't want to be on the ship. She can be..." She looked away. Seemed to be considering what she was going to say.

 

"Don't sugarcoat it. I'm in this too."

 

"Controlling. And he was afraid she'd work on me and him, and frankly he's having a great time hanging around with guys."

 

He frowned. "I didn't follow that leap."

 

"Oh, he was raised by women. Only women. Lots of them. Then Raffi. He sort of...defaults back to how he was with them with her. But not with me. He can tell me what he really wants and then I subtly try to shift things. Or sometimes I just listen. When Raffi and I were off again and I was on La Sirena, he'd come up, and we'd sit on the floor with our backs against the cargo, and he'd tell me what was going wrong at the Academy, or how much of an outsider he felt. I've never lost track of him. When he died, I mourned, but not enough for her liking."

 

"I'm lost again."

 

"So much of the second mission with Picard has been redacted or never reported in the first place. Suffice it to say there was time travel and Q was involved and Elnor died. And then he was brought back to life. And that was a great day. Seeing him again. I never wanted my friend to die. But so many people die, Liam. And so few come back."

 

"I came back."

 

"I wasn't going to let you go. Not without a fight." She met his eyes, a slight desperation in her eyes as she did. "Do you understand that Raffi witnessed that? This person she thinks can be so cold and so allergic to commitment refusing to let someone she ostensibly hated die." She took a long sip of her wine. "It hurts. I should say that. It hurts that she really thinks I have no relationship with Elnor. It's in his best interest, so I let her think that and so does he. But it hurts that she believes it."

 

"I saw all the little interactions you had with people. Things that you probably thought I missed. That running science puzzle that you and T'Veen would pass back and forth. The way you would always ask for names for anyone you didn't know personally on a landing party."

 

"You do that. I'm sure Kathryn did that before she knew everyone far too well. Who doesn't do that?"

 

"You'd be surprised how many captains might just refer to someone by rank, making the distinction clear between those who are in and those who aren't. I've been there, the unnamed ensign."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Long ago. But my point is that you're very sociable with your own people. I'd never assume you had no relationship with someone you had a history with. Unless I knew for sure."

 

"But you saw sides of me she never did. The nature of serving together, so closely, afforded you glimpses into what I somehow kept hidden from her. My basic warmth."

 

"Well, it is for your own people only. I wouldn't call you warm, Sev." He was laughing.

 

"Right back at you, Shaw."

 

He nodded agreement then stopped talking as the server brought their crawfish étouffée. "Damn, even better than I remember."

 

"So good."

 

They ate in silence for a while, but then he said, "So, this is going to fester between you two if you don't tell her you talk to Elnor."

 

"I know. The irony is it's a perfectly normal thing for intel operatives to keep this kind of thing off the record. So she should understand. But she has an ongoing relationship with him that I'm going to potentially screw up if I tell her. And he needs the release—the ear that doesn't judge but knows her well enough to either give advice or take some steps on my end to make things better."

 

He looked away.

 

"What?"

 

"You're describing parents. My dad was that for me. Because Mom was also controlling. He could get her to see reason when what I said never seemed to resonate with her. But he kept it on the down low so my relationship with her was good."

 

"And they prospered that way?"

 

"Well, unless you count the very messy divorce once all the kids were grown." He made a face. "Sorry, that's not helping."

 

She laughed though. "We probably should be in therapy. Or should have been. Not sure now is the right time."

 

"Why not?" He'd been in and out of therapy ever since Wolf 359. Wouldn't be standing if it weren't for that and went back whenever he needed a "tune-up" as his therapists called it. A check-in.

 

"I've come to terms with who I am and what I've done. So I'm not sure I want to air them, relive things that have caused me a lot of pain or shame or both. Or share them with her in that setting."

 

"If you don't trust her with those parts of you, why are you with her?" He didn't mean it as a burn. He was serious and hoped she would understand that.

 

And she seemed to. She just smiled and shrugged and said, "Because I love her. And I keep thinking there's a way that we can make each other happy for the long term. Especially now that we're both in the same place, going the same direction at the same speed."

 

"Then why did you add me?" He hated how vulnerable he sounded.

 

"Because I love you. And when you were avoiding me, it was fine to not have you. But then you weren't and we were together and I could feel the chemistry—the fire." She held her hand out and he took it. "With Chakotay it was soft like water—well, until it was horrible. With Raffi, it's like a mix of the solidity of earth with the ephemeral nature of air. But with you..."

 

"It's fire. I know. Fires burn out though."

 

"Not always. Chakotay and Kathryn had fire. Look at them."

 

"And look how they hurt you to get there. Are we going to do that to her?"

 

"It's not my plan. I don't believe it's yours either. But...she might think it is. She's in, but then she's not." She pulled her hand away. "And Worf's in love with her. The only reason he'd want to talk about Elnor is because he has a position for him. So he takes her son—values her son in the way she wants—and where does that leave us, Liam?"

 

"Alone. Together." He went back to eating. "Is that unappealing?"

 

"No. Yes." She sighed heavily. "I like the three of us. Don't you?"

 

"I do, actually. It's fun but it may ultimately be unworkable. Would you tell me if you wanted me to get the hell out of this? To let you go back to what you had?"

 

"If I really wanted that, I'd tell you. You know me. I don't mince words."

 

"So you haven't said that yet."

 

"No, I haven't, have I?" She shook her head. "And can we ever go back?"

 

"That, I really don't know."

 

##

 

Seven had never really explored New Orleans the way she and Liam were doing. Hand in hand, stopping at any place that had good music or a lively crowd. Finding a seat, sitting close or even on top of him if necessary. Drinking and taking antitox and drinking again.

 

It wasn't lost on her that the last bit might be a bit of a rebellion against Raffi, what she might say about that kind of behavior. At least on her part. Liam was just letting loose and she didn't think he did that very often.

 

They danced and kissed and somehow they ended up on a streetcar heading for the Garden District, to a house party Liam had been told about three bars back. The only sign that there was a party going on were the lights flashing from inside—the house must be very soundproofed since no music escaped until someone opened the door to leave.

 

But it was sexy, electronic music and she smiled as he held his hand out, as they danced and swayed and kissed some more and then he was pulling her up some stairs, down a hall and she noticed there were doors lining the hallway, lights on or off at the top of them.

 

"You've never been in a party house?" he asked.

 

"No. Show me."

 

He opened a door that was unlit and ushered her in, locking it behind them, which she assumed engaged the light on the door to show the room was occupied. It was barely big enough to hold a mattress that smelled like fancy lemon sanitizer, but it had party lights strung up all along the ceiling.

 

"I lost my virginity in one of these." His grin was adorable. "A bunch of us had come down for Mardi Gras. Met a girl. Liked girl. Amazingly girl liked me—I had to grow into this face."

 

She laughed.

 

"I know it's not the Ritz, but indulge me?"

 

"Anything."

 

He put his hands on either side of her face and just looked at her. "I'm feeling a little vulnerable. Like maybe what we've got here is going to prove as fleeting as what I had with that girl."

 

"Liam—"

 

He put his hand over her mouth. "Seven, she was yours first. You were hers first. I'm the problem here. And I'll go away and we can all laugh about this when I report back for duty."

 

She pried his hand off her mouth. "I won't be laughing if I lose you. If you walk away."

 

"If I walk away, it'll be because I love you both. And I want you to be happy."

 

"And then you'll find someone else."

 

"No I wont." He stroked back her hair. "I'll just wait like an idiot, hoping for you two to end but trying my best not to cause that end."

 

"And which of us will you be waiting for?"

 

"For you, Seven. For fucking you."

 

She nodded and began to pull off his clothing, stopping to help him get hers off too. "I love you so much, Liam. We'll fix this. We'll work on her. We'll do therapy if you think it will help."

 

"I really think it might."

 

And then he was touching her and licking and sucking just fucking right and she arched into his mouth, not caring if anyone heard her crying out.

 

She pulled him up frantically, and he eased her legs over his shoulders. "You have to tell me if this hurts, Seven."

 

"I will. I promise."

 

"Because I want so much from you. So you have to stop me from going too far."

 

"No, I don't." Her voice was soft and she loved that. She loved how much she trusted him. "You'd never hurt me, no matter how much you wanted from me."

 

And then he was going, and he never looked away from her, and it was hard and almost violent but it was what they needed.

 

Because this was them. Fire and thunder and everything ferocious. But then he slowed just before it got to be too much and she said, "See, safety first." He laughed and eased her legs back down around his waist, aiming just right as he thrust to build her back up, to have her crying out again just before he followed her.

 

"I fucking love you, Seven of Nine." He had his head buried in her neck so his words were a little garbled but she got the gist.

 

She put her lips on his ear, whispered, "I think part of me would have been gone forever if I couldn't bring you back."

 

He eased back. "Even though we were fighting?"

 

"Especially since we were." She traced his cheekbones, his beard, his lips. "It was my fault you died."

 

"But you saved so many. Getting Picard where he needed to be. And you know I don't say that lightly."

 

She laughed and nodded.

 

"I'm really glad you could bring me back. Even if I am Borg."

 

"You're not Borg." She pushed him to his back and cuddled into him. "But if you were, it'd be okay because I'd be your queen. And I'd be a very generous queen."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Count on it."

 

The party lights began to flash.

 

He stopped her as she started to get up. "Someone requested a room. They must all be full. Fortunately, these aren't designed to make you want to linger but despite that, someone else can get out of theirs. Because I'm not done with you yet."

 

"I love the sound of that."

 

##

 

Raffi palmed open the door to Seven's quarters and let them close behind her, not moving much past the entrance. Seven and Liam were spooned together.

 

They looked beautiful. Too beautiful to disturb so she moved to a chair and sat in silence, just watching them.

 

But like jungle animals, both of them seemed to know they were being watched. Seven came awake first but Liam wasn't far behind her.

 

She expected Seven to tell her to come to bed, but instead she sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard, calling for lights to increase from the minimal level they'd clearly left for Raffi to find her way around to something that was a bit brighter.

 

"The bed's so pristine. Did you two not make love? Or did you remake it once you were done?"

 

Liam curled around so his head was resting in Seven's lap. "We played at a party house in New Orleans. It was fun. You'd like it." His tone was...wary. Friendly though. Not hostile. More like he was on edge for what she might say to him than what he was going to say to her.

 

"New Orleans is a tough city for someone like me." She met Seven's eyes, somehow knew that Seven had known that. "Your choice?"

 

"His."

 

"How was dinner?" Liam glanced at the clock. "It's fucking late to be getting back."

 

"We walked around. Talked."

 

"We were on a date and we didn't take that long." Seven sounded... Actually, Raffi wasn't sure how to read her voice. It wasn't cold exactly. Wasn't warm though either. "So...Elnor's okay?"

 

"Yeah, turns out he won't be on the ship so you don't have to worry about that. Not that you were." Damn it. She was not going to pick a fight.

 

"I talked to him about it already, Raffi. It was when I was filling so many of the vacancies. I wanted to know if he wanted to be included. He didn't."

 

Raffi met her eyes. "You talked to him and didn't tell me?"

 

"He's my friend. He has been since the Artifact. If I want to talk to him, I will. I don't have to clear it with you any more than you need to tell us what Worf really wanted."

 

"Honor demands I do. He wants me."

 

Liam sat up, joining Seven against the headboard. "Wants you?"

 

"He was not pursuing me when I was with Seven. But now that you've joined our little family, he feels it's only fair. He thinks I might prefer to be the only one, loved for myself." She couldn't bring herself to look at either of them. "I don't know that he's wrong."

 

"Do you know that he's right?" Seven asked, much more gently than Raffi expected.

 

"I don't. I'm confused. I mean I had your back with Chakotay. I enjoyed having your back with that asshole. But...I don't know what I want."

 

"Do you love him?" Liam asked.

 

"I do. Not like Seven, but as much as I do you. Possibly more, because of the things he did for me with my family, because of working so closely with him before that. Just like for you and Seven."

 

He nodded. "If I left right now, would that make it all better?"

 

"If I say yes, would you really leave?"

 

"I really would."

 

She sighed and stood, peeling off her clothes and leaving them on the floor as she joined them on the bed, curling up with him between them, her head on his lap. "The problem is that it wouldn't make it better. Because this has happened and I know how she looks when she's with you, and it's not just a 'fun time for a while' look. She loves you. But she loves me too." She looked across him to Seven. Reached out and Seven reached back. "It might be less confusing for all of us if I just said yes to Worf."

 

"No." Seven moved so she was lying like a bookend, her head in his lap too, facing her. Liam was playing with both of their hair, then rubbing their backs. "He wants a fight, we'll give him one."

 

"He's not challenging you to battle."

 

Liam laughed. "Pretty sure that was a metaphorical fight. And I'm with her on that. Let him try to get you. We'll seduce you with the everyday. The way it could be on this ship, on a mission, all together. He's on Earth, Raffi. How much can he offer you?"

 

Seven sighed and it was a ragged one. Raffi hated that she was actually surprised the idea of losing her could affect Seven that much. "Her son. He has her son. And he can travel at will in that job."

 

"He does hold a nice hand." Raffi reached out and traced Seven's lips. "But you're the dealer. You have all the other cards."

 

"And what am I?" Liam asked.

 

"You're that wooden carousel thing that holds the chips." She laughed as he spanked her gently on the ass. "Sorry, I don't know poker that well. What do you want to be?"

 

"Actually the carousel thing is apt for him. Keeps order, protects things of value, serves a clear purpose." Seven laughed. "And is a bitch to get those things out of if it's in the wrong mood."

 

"That's fair. Also excellent construction or it doesn't turn right." He laughed softly. "What can Worf offer you that we can't, Raff? I'm asking sincerely."

 

"No need to share him. That's what he offers."

 

There was a long silence as she and Seven stared at each other and Liam rubbed their backs. Then he said, "Seven, you're not going to like this but how is she going to know whether or not she wants us or him if she doesn't fuck him too?"

 

"I was thinking the same thing. If you need to explore, Raff, then go ahead. Just ummm. Just don't tell me you're doing it okay? Not till you've decided."

 

"If she doesn't come home from a date, that'll be a clear indication."

 

"Liam, let me have my illusions."

 

She leaned across him and kissed Seven. "I won't tell you. He has a guest room, I'm sure, if I ever crash there. No need to think anything might be going on. And I'm not actually sure he'd want to if he wasn't sure I was his."

 

"Nice save." His hand on her was so gentle. "And yeah, he might not."

 

"Did you guys have a good time tonight in New Orleans?"

 

"We really did." Seven kissed her, a long kiss. "But this is going to be like that, right? Sometimes the three of us. Sometimes two."

 

"Sometimes one if I'm in my bed thinking of you two."

 

"Way to kill the moment, Shaw." But Raffi laughed and turned over so she could see his face.

 

He was grinning gently, clearly working to lighten the mood.

 

She loved him so much for that. "Are you guys tired out?"

 

"Oh, sure. Worf revs you up and you want us to fuck you back down to Earth?" But Seven was already moving, pulling Liam down into the bed, pulling off the boxers he was wearing. "I want to watch you ride him. I'm going to play with myself while you do."

 

"Fuck, you two. You're going to kill me. So goddamned sexy." He made a face. "That would solve our problem. And what a way to go."

 

"Shut up, Liam," they said together.

 

"Shutting up."

 

Raffi moved over him, let him adjust her, then waited for Seven to move up a bit so she could watch as they moved together. The rising and falling, him all the way inside and then less so, the slow deliberate way they were going.

 

Seven came before they did and they stopped to watch her as she flushed and arched and cried out.

 

"You're both so goddamned beautiful." She leaned in and kissed Liam and began to move harder, faster, not caring that normally he'd want it slower, to make it good for her first. He came before she did, but he told her not to move, played with her with his fingers until she was calling out, squirming on him, Seven watching languidly from beside them.

 

Without talking about it, Seven moved over and Liam eased Raffi into the middle. "You're ours," he whispered into her ear. "Tonight anyway."

 

"Yes," Seven said, spooning her more tightly than she usually did.

 

"We love you, Raffi."

 

"I love you guys, too. Whatever else happens, that much is true."

 

 

Continue to Part 3